trippi1432 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Actually, I feel everything is my fault for marrying her in the first place. We did kind of rush into it and I take blame for that. I have learnt you can't change people's personalities and I think it would be unfair to try and do so. I have tried to accept and live with who she is. Is it my fault that I can't accept that she doesn't know how to be a mother ? I put myself in this situation so yes it's all my fault. Understandable you feel that way, I've felt that way too in my marriage and yes, you are correct, you cannot change how someone is. I frustrated myself just trying to get my exH to throw a ball with his son instead of yelling at everyone every day. Have you at least tried some counseling? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Krypton Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 No we haven't tried counselling. I didn't want to mention this in my original post but now I will, wife is Asian. I think a lot of it has to do with how she was brought up and what 'seems normal' to her. I don't think it is anything that can be changed or fixed in counselling but maybe it is worth a try, who knows. I came home from work last night to find wife glued to her online poker instead of spending quality time with our daughter on the only day of the week she is able to. Link to post Share on other sites
Cakess Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I think this kind of question requires the OP to be fully available to listen to all types of answers, instead of just searching for support of a decision you've clearly already made. You want to leave your wife, and it will be scary, but you're going to have to do it. It's kind of a shame though, because it seems like although your wife isn't the first to make a move in the romance department, she sounds hard-working, honest, and faithful. She has no problem sharing the workload with you. And is it so bad that you are the more loving parent? Each parent offers something different to their children, and instead of complaining about her lack of affection, why not encourage your daughter to invite her mother in activities, or suggest things you can all do as a family? It doesn't sound like you've tried every available avenue. It only really sounds like you hold a hatred in your heart for her because you have been neglected, and so now you want to completely change her and your daughter's lives because of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Krypton Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 I think this kind of question requires the OP to be fully available to listen to all types of answers, instead of just searching for support of a decision you've clearly already made. You want to leave your wife, and it will be scary, but you're going to have to do it. It's kind of a shame though, because it seems like although your wife isn't the first to make a move in the romance department, she sounds hard-working, honest, and faithful. She has no problem sharing the workload with you. And is it so bad that you are the more loving parent? Each parent offers something different to their children, and instead of complaining about her lack of affection, why not encourage your daughter to invite her mother in activities, or suggest things you can all do as a family? It doesn't sound like you've tried every available avenue. It only really sounds like you hold a hatred in your heart for her because you have been neglected, and so now you want to completely change her and your daughter's lives because of it. I have not made any decision yet, if I had I would have acted on it and I wouldn't be here seeking peoples opinions. I am reading every post and I am taking it all in. I am seeing things from different angles as a result and it is helping. Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
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