jmelynxo Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 So to try to keep a long story short, I have suspected my boyfriend of cheating in the past and now I am thinking it again and the circumstances are very similar. There was a girl that he worked with that was very actively flirting w/ him. She would call him/text him etc. I was sitting next to him while he checked his e-mail and she had sent him a VERY inappropriate e-mail, "So when am I gonna get to tap that ass? ;)" he got very angry with her and told me not to worry, she was going to know that she couldn't say things like that to him. In the meantime, some things changed...he worked more but his job has unreliable hours so it's hard to say if that's coincidence or not. Also our sex went wayyyy down hill, to the point where on his birthday I wore sexy little lingerie and everything and he turned me down for sex... So In July, I went through his phone in a jealous rage (wrong, I know. Please don't lecture me on this.) I saw that he had her number saved under a different name and his text history included him texting her at like 2 am on July 4th (while I was at work) saying, "Show me," and many deleted texts inbetween conversation. He explained this all away as work stuff and that he had texted her at like 8 pm but because it was July 4th his text didn't go through right away (plausible, but not likely.) Eventually we worked through it, but I still have doubts that he was 100% honest with me and I know he definitely crossed what I consider to be relationship lines. So fast forward to now. This girl is way out of the picture but now there is another girl at his job. He talks about her often and works pretty closely with her She is nothing like me at all and in my opinion not very attractive and kind of scary personality-wise. But she is similar to girl #1. Suddenly we are not having sex as much, working late again, and I went through his phone again (so sue me). It was obvious they had been fb messaging but much was deleted. What was left is that she called him baby. Now babe, I could probably forgive from a flirty co-worker. I get it, I'm realistic. He's cute and a flirt. But is he a cheater? I don't think anybody else should be calling him baby. And I blame him because I feel like he must be doing and/or saying things that make these girls feel comfortable enough to send him messages like that. It can't just be totally that the girls are throwing themselves at him without any prompting on his part. I don't know how to handle this and if I tell him I went through his phone again he'll probably dump me. I don't know how worried I should be. I am starting a new job on Sunday where we will be spending much more time apart and I'm definitely freaking out.! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Yes he is a cheater. Why would someone who has nothing to hide, delete messages/conversations? Even worse why would they delete only PART of a conversation? They wouldn't. He is deleting things because he knows you might see them. So what is he writing that he doesn't want you to see? And does it matter? The fact that he is doing things behind your back that you would not approve of, is enough. Dump his lying, cheating ass. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 How do you know he deleted FB messages? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 When someone is showing you who they are, you have to pay attention. If you allow and enable someone to cross the relationship lines, you not only teach them that you tolerate that behavior but you also teach them that they can take things a step further. The fact that he has already betrayed the trust and loyalty in your relationship more than once is enough reason to walk away. And no, the flirting is reciprocal. Women aren't throwing themselves at him. He's encouraging, participating and engaging in it. And who knows when the flirting will become more than just that. What then? "I don't know how to handle this and if I tell him I went through his phone again he'll probably dump me." And if he dumps you, consider it a blessing. Read that statement again and ponder on how low you've set the bar for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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