Breadimus Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hey Mate, I have my ex posting Instagram pictures of her and I saying that when it was it good it was magnificent before ending with a "This too shall pass". Updates of how she is #gettingbetter #wegotthis #pickmeup. I don't use the Instagram it is rubbish, unfortunately I have a sister who does. If she felt bad she would get in contact, if she wanted you back she would crawl across glass to get to you. She would remember the good times, the great times and the mind blowing sex and she would come to you. She hasn't old mate, so get back into your fortress and build your strength. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 No no and more no. It means she's carrying around some guilt. That's all it means. Now you know, don't skip a beat in moving on. Barky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 It means she's carrying around some guilt. Why would she be feeling guilt? She's the one that BU with me. I thought she would've checked out emotionally before the BU itself. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Just because she dumped you doesn't mean she doesn't care or feel bad. But just because she cares and feels bad doesn't mean she wants you back. Unless a person is a total sociopath, they will feel guilt when they hurt someone else, especially someone they once loved and cared about. That said, it doesn't mean anything. She's just checking up without hurting you by contacting you directly, which was nice of her. Link to post Share on other sites
somecamel Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 A buddy of mine said that while going through the drive through of my ex GF's workplace, she asked him how I was doing. He said I was doing fine. She said she "felt like scum of the earth" for hurting me. I'm not reading too much into for I might just brush it off by tomorrow. But out of curiosity, do you guys think there's any significance behind it? Most of the drive throughs I've been through don't leave a lot of time to ask personal questions and this story seems a bit far fetched to me, is your friend playing to your emotions? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 PS. Tell your buddy (and any other buddy who might hear something like this) not to pass anything like this along again. It will only confuse you and slow down your healing. If she wants you back, she will tell you so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Why would she be feeling guilt? She's the one that BU with me. I thought she would've checked out emotionally before the BU itself. Not every dumper checks out before they breakup..first and foremost. Second, the question you asked Me, I'm almost certain you can answer that. But I'll throw my 2cents in. At one point I'm sure you ment a lot to her. Even though you broke up I'm sure she ( once again ) is carrying around guilt for making you feel bad,breaking your heart ect. And yes I agree, have anyone who's anyone not tell you anything for awhile. Yes buddy, I'm sure she does have a heart and I'm sure she's somewhat feeling bad for hurting you. But don't get it twisted. Nothing about what she said or how she feels mean she wants you back. We all know things get back to people when we say it, especially to one who's friends with another. I'm sure she wanted you to know, so you wouldn't hate her. Even with just knowing what she said, without knowing you or your situation, what she did is see through, it's blatantly obvious. Continue on, what she said means zero. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Much appreciated for the input guys Link to post Share on other sites
TheKook Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Like the rest of them, just continue on your merry way dude. Unless she actually contacts you directly and tells you she wants to get back and is willing to compromise, don't look too far into anything she does. Remember what I said. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to read these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 So I got breakfast with a friend this morning and he said that he'd been talking to my ex GF all night. Apparently she want's to talk to me about getting back together and that she's been an "emotional wreck" after dumping me. She hasn't contacted me because she's afraid of "rejection." The results of NC, huh? Anyways... as cold hearted as it sounds, she put me through SOOO much pain that I don't want to give it a second go. Opinions? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somecamel Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Stay strong is all I'd say, this is going to test you now Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 That's not cold hearted, that's awesome!!! You have achieved what most dumpees strive for. Only let a dumper back in if they deserve it, and if she's put you through hell then she doesn't. Good for you iDrum!! Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Your ex sounds like a sociopath. Do not go anywhere near her. Also, tell your friends to stop talking about her. Real friends would put a lid on that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Your ex sounds like a sociopath. Do not go anywhere near her. Also, tell your friends to stop talking about her. Real friends would put a lid on that stuff. Lol a sociopath certainly wouldn't be an emotional wreck about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Lol a sociopath certainly wouldn't be an emotional wreck about anything. My apologies, I have confused the OP with someone else. So many break up threads, So little time. Carry on! Link to post Share on other sites
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 So I got breakfast with a friend this morning and he said that he'd been talking to my ex GF all night. Apparently she want's to talk to me about getting back together and that she's been an "emotional wreck" after dumping me. She hasn't contacted me because she's afraid of "rejection." The results of NC, huh? Anyways... as cold hearted as it sounds, she put me through SOOO much pain that I don't want to give it a second go. Opinions? While this sounds very nice that she wants to get back together, I'd be very cautious if you do ultimately decide to go that route. When she dumped you, she "rejected" you. She needs to fess up face to face regardless of how scared she may be. Personally, I wouldn't do anything until she contacts you herself. Going through a friend is a cop out in my eyes. But...by the sounds of your last statement you aren't even interested. If I were you, I'd sit tight until she contacts you and then I would at least hear her out. Unless, of course, you are 100% certain that you want nothing to do with her. If that's the case, continue on with NC and go out and enjoy yourself. This NC really does work sometimes huh...I wonder if it will with me someday. I'd love to be int he position of having all the power with my crazy ass ex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 You can either use that as "closure" (the best kind) or you can try again with her. It seems like she should be calling you, though, not using your friend as an intermediary. But do put your ego aside for a minute and think about what you really want in life. Maybe you don't really want her after all, or maybe you do. But it seems she should be calling you herself. I'd wait for that phone call before making any big decisions. I wouldn't make things too easy for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 You can either use that as "closure" (the best kind) or you can try again with her. It seems like she should be calling you, though, not using your friend as an intermediary. But do put your ego aside for a minute and think about what you really want in life. Maybe you don't really want her after all, or maybe you do. But it seems she should be calling you herself. I'd wait for that phone call before making any big decisions. I wouldn't make things too easy for her. That's the hard part. One side of me would "like" to. But she did so much damage leaving me. I mean how do I forgive someone who ended a 2 year RS over the phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 It's funny how fast you can get over somebody when they come crawling back to you. Like I said, closure of the best kind. She'll be pining away forever if you say no to her. I've been in this situation before and if they do come crawling back it's because they just can't forget you no matter how hard they try. Enjoy the attention. It could go on for years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 It's funny how fast you can get over somebody when they come crawling back to you. Like I said, closure of the best kind. She'll be pining away forever if you say no to her. I've been in this situation before and if they do come crawling back it's because they just can't forget you no matter how hard they try. Enjoy the attention. It could go on for years. Thanks Sandy. Yeah it is funny. Every since I joined LS I've read multiple times that when you get close to indifference, you start to receive that attention from an ex. In my case it happened as stated. Knowing her though, I don't think she has the guts to reach out to me. So I'm not going to expect a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I think the root of that indifference is the eventual realization that you just can't go back because of how you were treated after the break up (or maybe even during the relationship). So maybe that is what the dumper picks up on at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I think the root of that indifference is the eventual realization that you just can't go back because of how you were treated after the break up (or maybe even during the relationship). So maybe that is what the dumper picks up on at some point. I agree. As much as I got excited (initially when I was first brought the news) I followed with thinking about how hurt I was post BU. All my life I've been a very forgiving person. I could not hold grudges. But for this situation I just can't see myself opening my arms for her. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 iDrum, maybe she was too scared to do it in person--to see your face . Some people do it through even more impersonal (and worse) ways, like: simply not responding, or through a text message, or something. Just trying to throw in some perspective. Would love to hear your thoughts on my situation. You're very forgiving. If you're willing, I'd like to have your read my post about my ex-fiance pursuing my best friend, and hear your thoughts on that in terms of forgiveness (or any thoughts you have). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I have this strange feeling today. When I think about my ex, I don't get the urge to want to see her, hear from her, or anything. It feels like if I were to see here out in public, she would be just another person. A stranger... Is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I have this strange feeling today. When I think about my ex, I don't get the urge to want to see her, hear from her, or anything. It feels like if I were to see here out in public, she would be just another person. A stranger... Is this normal? I hear ya. Same here. I honestly wouldn't even recognize her. More so because she isn't who I thought she was. Link to post Share on other sites
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