guest572 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I have this strange feeling today. When I think about my ex, I don't get the urge to want to see her, hear from her, or anything. It feels like if I were to see here out in public, she would be just another person. A stranger... Is this normal? That's brilliant. It sounds like you are healing up nicely. And if she doesn't have the guts to call and ask you personally about getting back together then thats all there is to it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 That's brilliant. It sounds like you are healing up nicely. And if she doesn't have the guts to call and ask you personally about getting back together then thats all there is to it! I guess so! I guess when you come to terms and realize that the person you used to love isn't that person anymore, it's easier to make them BECOME that stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 I feel the anger setting in... Please I hope this phase is short. Link to post Share on other sites
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I feel the anger setting in... Please I hope this phase is short. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The anger phase is a lot more fun than the sad stage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The anger phase is a lot more fun than the sad stage. I hope you're right lol. Curse the emotions! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 So for the past few days I'm been getting better. I don't want ANYTHING to do with my ex. Sure I miss what we had but not her. I'm so over the phase of sadness but I do notice that it is morphing into something else. Somewhere between anger & hate. I want to be at the stage of no emotion at all for my ex, so you guys tell me, and I making good progress? I've been doing everything in my power to redefine myself. It just seems like too much mental and emotional energy is being sucked away from me Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Yay, anger phase. I've been there for about two months. Frankly, I think it's horrible actually hating somebody. The things I say about her to myself, they're disgusting. But it's hard to control emotions that are so strong. The more you love her, the more you'll hate her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Yay, anger phase. I've been there for about two months. Frankly, I think it's horrible actually hating somebody. The things I say about her to myself, they're disgusting. But it's hard to control emotions that are so strong. The more you love her, the more you'll hate her. Yeah let me rephrase then... I feel like I REALLY despise her. Would you say I'm inching forward to indifference? I'll tell you what though, it's such a crazy concept. From lovers, to absolutely dreading the thought of the person. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I hope my ex-fiance doesn't despise me. He probably does. I hate the thought of someone I care so much about would feel that way about me. Why do you despise her? I think that anger is more "fun" than sadness because we have a sense of control and power with our anger. With sadness, it's the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Yeah let me rephrase then... I feel like I REALLY despise her. Would you say I'm inching forward to indifference? I'll tell you what though, it's such a crazy concept. From lovers, to absolutely dreading the thought of the person. If you want to see if you are making progress towards indifference, then keep track of how you feel each day. Or just be aware of how many times you feel angry about her every day, then how many days a week you feel angry and so on. Eventually you should be able to several days without being mad at her. I don't know how long it takes to get there. You think your concept is crazy? I feel that I still really want my ex back and I miss her desperately, but before I take her back, if she wanted to come back, I want to yell and cuss at her first. In other words, I want to have a huge fight with her, before getting back with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If you want to see if you are making progress towards indifference, then keep track of how you feel each day. Or just be aware of how many times you feel angry about her every day, then how many days a week you feel angry and so on. Eventually you should be able to several days without being mad at her. I don't know how long it takes to get there. You think your concept is crazy? I feel that I still really want my ex back and I miss her desperately, but before I take her back, if she wanted to come back, I want to yell and cuss at her first. In other words, I want to have a huge fight with her, before getting back with her. This is so completely irrational that it makes sense to me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 I feel that I still really want my ex back and I miss her desperately, but before I take her back, if she wanted to come back, I want to yell and cuss at her first. Don't you want to let go at some point? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Don't you want to let go at some point? Yeah I do. But I feel that I won't be able to fully until I replace her with somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 For days I can feel great, ecstatic, and even blessed to have a new beginning being single. Today is a different story. Right now I'm literally surrounded by friends. They are all at my apartment and we're all watching basketball. I feel lonely though even though I'm physically not. Why can't I shake this feeling? I know that deep down the relationship in the long run would not have worked out, we weren't fulfilling each other's needs, and we simply outgrew each other. But this content want for her is coming back with a rush. I want her out of my head. I wish her well but I can't continue having the COMPLETELY RANDOM thoughts of her. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Because it freaking HURTS..that's why. Feel it, and then let it go. I have NO doubt that you're going to be just fine kiddo. Sorry you're having a rough day..you're one of the most level headed posters here and I like you a lot. On another note, I was sitting in nasty traffic (I live in a big city and traffic is pretty much a way of life for me) and I saw this dude pick a GIANT booger out of his nose in the car next to me. Oh it gets worse. The guy ATE the thing. Apparently people think they become invisible when they're sitting in their cars. I don't get it... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 PS..I get a really cute feeling from you. Are you a cutie pie? I bet you are! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lifegoezon Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Eewww! No need for that Kali! IDK I know what you mean. Some days you're like "I'm so over it" " today I am awesome" then the next day you can't get them out of your head and it seems never ending. Just hold on to the knowledge that tomorrow might be an awesome day. And those days start outnumbering the others eventually. Nobody said it would be easy. We've all got your back buddy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Why eww? No need for what? Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Sure I miss what we had but not her. I know this in an academic sense but it really hasn't settled into my heart completely. If you can really feel the difference between the two, that is probably a WONDERFUL sign. I hope I get to that point soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Why eww? No need for what? It's cool. I'm flattered lol Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 IDK, what you're going through is understandable and normal. I have moments/hours/days when I'm feeling pretty good overall, but there are times where I feel really sad, or I feel upset, betrayed, hurt, etc. about how things have turned out. Not so much over the loss of the relationship with my ex-fiance, but our friendship. I miss his family and friends, too. I miss the idea of the future we had together. I cried last night as I lay in bed, thinking about things. Today was the first time (I believe) that I've dreamed about him wanting to reconcile. I didn't enjoy waking up from that. You may have also had similar dreams, or maybe you will. And most likely, it'll suck having to wake up from that. But maybe not! I'm focusing on ME, and it helps. Him not speaking to me helps a lot too. I think you focusing on you and not speaking to your ex is helping, too. We're going to have a rollercoaster of emotions, but I think you're doing well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lifegoezon Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) On another note, I was sitting in nasty traffic (I live in a big city and traffic is pretty much a way of life for me) and I saw this dude pick a GIANT booger out of his nose in the car next to me. Oh it gets worse. The guy ATE the thing. Apparently people think they become invisible when they're sitting in their cars. I don't get it... This Kali. No need for this! haha! And I agree - he seems like a cutie Edited March 27, 2014 by Lifegoezon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 On another note, I was sitting in nasty traffic (I live in a big city and traffic is pretty much a way of life for me) and I saw this dude pick a GIANT booger out of his nose in the car next to me. Oh it gets worse. The guy ATE the thing. Apparently people think they become invisible when they're sitting in their cars. I don't get it... Be either! I can't imagine what people do with tinted windows Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 This Kali. No need for this! haha! And I agree - he seems like a cutie �� It made him laugh when he was sad..and I bet it made you laugh too. Link to post Share on other sites
CadeYeager Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 PS..I get a really cute feeling from you. Are you a cutie pie? I bet you are! Don't treat him like a baby. He needs to man up. He hurt his gf and has to pay for it Link to post Share on other sites
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