flightplan Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I hear you and I'm going through similar emotions. But try not to make any decisions about reaching out to her while your under this emotional strain. We tend to make poor decisions when in a very emotional state of mind and later tend to regret it. It'll pass, it always does, I just have to concede it's going to be a roller coaster for a few more months and will just have to man up and deal with it.
somecamel Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Don't press that reset button dude, you've done so well, just keep on posting in here and get it off your chest here, not to her. No good will come of it I promise you.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 I won't break NC. I promise you guys that but more importantly I promise myself that. Readjusting my lifestyle is just killing me. I'm getting more female attention now it's weird. It's like girls sit around waiting on my Facebook relationship status to change. But when talking to these girls, why does it feel so wrong? Why does it feel like I shouldn't be doing it? Sure it might be because I have high emotions for my exe, but could I be something else? I don't want it to paralyze me
Author iDrumKing Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Just as an update: Yesterday I was good. Woke up with a somewhat clear mind, went to work, came home and relaxed for a bit, and ended the day catching up on some TV shows. So my mental effort to not think about her was there. Woke up not too long ago feeling sooooo down in the dumps. Every other night I have a dreams about her rejecting me in some form or fashion. I know she's not here anymore and I am aware of that, but this dream is like me walking down the street and having every stranger bluntly remind me that it's over. It hurts so much guys. Just waking up to that realization. I'm coming up on 2 months of NC, but I swear these nightmares are literally taking me back to Day 1.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 Today is so hard. I want to contact her so so bad guys. I'm about to lose my self control and composure and give in. I want to ask her to meet up with me to so I can talk things out with her. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...
somecamel Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Today is so hard. I want to contact her so so bad guys. I'm about to lose my self control and composure and give in. I want to ask her to meet up with me to so I can talk things out with her. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... What do you actually want to find out her from her that a) You don't already know b) You don't really want to hear about You've done so well, please don't do this.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 What do you actually want to find out her from her that a) You don't already know b) You don't really want to hear about You've done so well, please don't do this. I know what would happen... She would reject me. Again. It's driving me crazy because I don't know exactly what I want if I did meet up or talk to her. To resist doing this is sooooooooo hard. I've been able to but it really drains me
somegoodman Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I know it sucks to feel this way for so long. But one day, you're going to be so exhausted from the pain that you have no choice but to move on from it. That's really what pushes you forward, just being damn tired of feeling this way. And then some time down the road you'll see your ex on some social media site, bloated, desperate and wh0ring for attention. And you'll laugh and kick yourself for feeling this way. Promise. 1
crazybestie101 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 So I'm roughly 1.5 months in NC. I happy with progress of things, but by o means am I healed yet. Today was great! I woke up not thinking about her, went to the gym with a friend, went grocery shopping, went to the bar and caught up with an old pal, and grabbed dinner with two friends. The whole time I was free of thinking about her. But... while we went back to a friends place to chill, it hit me like a brick wall. My mood changed from very excited and happy, to very gloomy and sad. My motivation to have fun took a nose dive. Please tell me this isn't out of the ordinary. I am at my 6 months of NC , not saying i am healed , there are always set backs. But that urges , hopes of contacting him is gone. I STILL deeply miss my EX. Many people said here that i need to move on and meet someone new. Guess what i met few guys , helped me keep off my head but i need something firm, so i started talking this new guy. Still talking as friends. And believe me this new guy reminds me of my EX . How ? He keeps lacking lot of things that i am looking for in guy just to even start off dating. Brings me back to my EX. I miss so much that i had with my EX. All excitement , chasing , fun , surprises. I feel like to hit my head against wall because i think i will never find man like my EX.. So dude ,whatever you are feeling is normal. Just try to find something to keep your mind off. You will always think of your ex , there is no way you can just stop thinking about someone..
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 I know that many here say that time will heal emotions, but at this moment in time I feel worthless. It's 5:30 am and I can't fall back asleep because of these damn feelings. I just feel like crying and nothing is coming out. I have this HUGE sense of rejection. How can someone that loved you so much just turn around and walk away? I know... This is asked a lot but it really does screw me up in terms of giving and receiving love. I'm fighting guys. I'm trying everything possible to move on but the more I move around the more I sink into this quicksand. Ask me how I feel. I've been all over that I don't even know what I feel. Is this normal? It's so exhausting that I feel numb. 2
chir Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Why don't they have painkillers for the heart. Is painful yet there is nothing we can do about it.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 I'm in a strange place. For one I don't plan on making any moves in regards to trying to get back together with her. I can play out what would happen if I tried and it wouldn't be pretty. On the other hand there's so much I want to tell her. Day by day I have to keep it in and keep quite and it's killing me.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Being here on LS has brought a lot of different perspectives in my recent BU. I struggled and to this day I still do (almost 2 months NC.) I will admit that I had hopes of getting back together, I pictured what it could be if she would give me a second chance, etc. Day by day these questions and thoughts would pile up to the point where I break down crying. I spoke to her a couple of days after the BU and the tone in her voice and personality was different. She was literally a different person and that broke my heart more than the actual BU. You get to know someone for 2 years, and a couple of days later, that person is gone. So after weeks of NC, STRUGGLING AND FIGHTING TO KEEP IT, crying, being pissed off, and being sad... I'm giving up. I'm so tired of feeling this way. I have no choice but to move on I know that the person I loved is not there anymore. 2
Poppyolive Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Painful as it is you are correct.Take care of your heart and embrace this new path...it will lead you to better, brighter things if you allow it and one day you'll look back a be thankful of this new path...and how it cane about.
Hoosfoos Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Im in the same place with you, bro. 2 years, dumped, she's a different now (and indifferent towards the breakup), leaving me absolutely no choice. The HARDEST thing Ive ever had to deal with. And sex dreams this morning. Ugh.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Painful as it is you are correct.Take care of your heart and embrace this new path...it will lead you to better, brighter things if you allow it and one day you'll look back a be thankful of this new path...and how it cane about. It is truly painful. When talking to her over the phone she was so....cold. The disinterested tone in her voice killed me. At one point she said we would get married someday and now she's distant. It hurts... but like I said I can only take so much. Adjusting my lifestyle is the hard part. My days are distorted because I really don't know what I'm doing.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Im in the same place with you, bro. 2 years, dumped, she's a different now (and indifferent towards the breakup), leaving me absolutely no choice. The HARDEST thing Ive ever had to deal with. And sex dreams this morning. Ugh. Yeah dude, those take me back to square 1. I f'ing hate when I have those nightmares. The worst part is that you have no control whatsoever. Don't take it as a sign though and act on it. The brain is a weird thing and it'll do things on impulse.
DontBreakEven Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 You are not alone. I am a little over 2 months NC and I know I just have to accept it. Mine was cold and distant on the phone as well, when 2 days earlier we were discussing having kids in the future. I even told her during the conversation that it was like I didn't know her. I know that's her way of trying to make things easier for herself - this is what I have heard from others who have done similar things when they dump their exes. Whatever. Ultimately I know deep in my heart that I can't and don't want to be with someone who is even ABLE to make such emotional switches. It tells a lot about someone in my opinion. It's extremely heartbreaking and actually just downright DISAPPOINTING, I feel is a great word to describe it. My ex completely disappointed me, and I'm heartbroken due to it. I'm trying to just trust that there's something better out there for me somewhere. I have to. Even if my ex came crawling back today, she pretty much ruined it by her actions at the end. I just can't be with someone who can put up walls like that. I deserve more. So do you. 3
Author iDrumKing Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 What's going on with me? I'm only 2 months into NC but why is the relationship becoming a blur? All the good times we shared and the things we did are starting to "disappear" lack for a better term. Anybody ever experience this?
somecamel Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 What's going on with me? I'm only 2 months into NC but why is the relationship becoming a blur? All the good times we shared and the things we did are starting to "disappear" lack for a better term. Anybody ever experience this? 2 months is a long time to not see someone that was important in your life and you see most days. I was only at a month when I realised I couldn't really remember her face anymore, I had pictures obviously but rarely look at them, wont delete because she was part of my life, but won't look at until I know I'm ready. Let her fade, this is the end goal. You're on the edge of acceptance, keep on moving forward.
DontBreakEven Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 What's going on with me? I'm only 2 months into NC but why is the relationship becoming a blur? All the good times we shared and the things we did are starting to "disappear" lack for a better term. Anybody ever experience this? Because you are in pain. This is your mind's way of protecting you. If the memories didn't blur and fade you would never be able to eventually one day not feel this pain.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 2 months is a long time to not see someone that was important in your life and you see most days. I was only at a month when I realised I couldn't really remember her face anymore, I had pictures obviously but rarely look at them, wont delete because she was part of my life, but won't look at until I know I'm ready. Let her fade, this is the end goal. You're on the edge of acceptance, keep on moving forward. Maybe I am coming to acceptance. But at the same time I want her back. All day I've been thinking about calling, texting, sending flowers, etc. A little voice in the back of my head says "don't do it" But something else is telling me to fight for it.. somecamel..... I'm a mess dude.
saltyfishhead666 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 So I'm roughly 1.5 months in NC. I happy with progress of things, but by o means am I healed yet. Today was great! I woke up not thinking about her, went to the gym with a friend, went grocery shopping, went to the bar and caught up with an old pal, and grabbed dinner with two friends. The whole time I was free of thinking about her. But... while we went back to a friends place to chill, it hit me like a brick wall. My mood changed from very excited and happy, to very gloomy and sad. My motivation to have fun took a nose dive. Please tell me this isn't out of the ordinary. I remember this... It was always In the evenings, during the day you can distract yourself with many things. But when night time falls... And you'd be talking too, texting or hanging out with them it hits you like a ton of bricks. Slowly, very slowly it won't happen. That was the last thing to go for me and I'm roughly 8 months NC xx
Author iDrumKing Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 I remember this... It was always In the evenings, during the day you can distract yourself with many things. But when night time falls... And you'd be talking too, texting or hanging out with them it hits you like a ton of bricks. Slowly, very slowly it won't happen. That was the last thing to go for me and I'm roughly 8 months NC xx How were you post breakup compared to now?
Author iDrumKing Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 Numb. That's what I feel right now. I don't know what to do. I feel incredibly lonely and honesty miss the girl.
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