JustAGirl Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 Hi First of all, huge thanx to Tony! Your ideas really help me sort out what's going on... However, it creates more Qns Anyway, my current problem is that my bf won't leave me alone. Today he was going to wait for me beside my class, but i said i would meet him in the libarary since it's more comfortable for him to wait there... guess what? - he got mad, and said "why do u always tell me to go away" and left w/ a =( on his face. It was fine after i met him in the library though. Another question: when people see him walking me to class and picking me up from class all the time, does it make them less interested in talking to me (esp. guys)? Or it only peaks ineterest? Cuz my bf has repeatedly (last time was today) declared that i am his only true friend and thats all he wants and needs in his life. What the hell?? I am trying to make more space between us so that 1- out relationship becomes less predictable 2- i have more other friends (thanx to tony's advice btw =) ) Another case was when i left to a "quiet study space" to read & told him to meet me later on, and he got all mad & insisted that he comes with me (which he did & just sat there staring at me/sleeping) ... Ahh! I love him but i need more room! I'd rather be alone more, if not with other people. any opinions? is this possessiveness curable? (is it cuz he is from middle east??? i heard mid.eastern men r like that?) Thanks guys... Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 2, 2001 Share Posted February 2, 2001 hi there... i've read most of your posts here. i gotta tell ya, your boyfriend has all the makings of being someone who's extremely possessive...to the point that somewhere down the line he could be trouble. he has no friends, and he doesn't want you to have friends either. he wants to be with you every spare moment of the day, to the point of skipping classes so he can walk with you. the guy sounds kinda nutty to me. most guys that age should have some guy friends....should have some interests with their friends [sports, etc]. he wants you all to himself. i don't mean to offend anyone here, or make a rude generalization, but 'some' middle eastern men are very controlling of their women.....and some can be extremely violent towards their women. women to them [remember, i said some, not all] are more like an object, a possession..something to control. you really need to tell you boyfriend to back off and give you some breathing space....and time for yourself.......let him know that he's driving you away from him, that you feel smothered...that you'll damn well have friends if you want to.......and that you don't want to spend every free moment with him...sometimes you just need some time alone, for yourself. be kind and considerate when you tell him this, but make sure you tell him how you feel. this is really important. communication and honesty are paramount in a relationship....if he can't hack the truth, and deal with it like a man, then you don't need a guy like this.....you'll only end up miserable, and most likely breaking up with him down the road because he's too much of a cling-on. laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
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