Jason 2003 Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Anna: Sorry, it's just that in that first post you did sound pretty pissed off at him. But it's true no mention of raised voices. Me? Not married. A few long term relationships, nothing over a year or so. So, explain to me again why you don't want to do this. Is it morals? jealousy? fear? Does it have more to do with him asking or the plan itself? Despite having re-read all the posts I still don't really understand. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 I think its pretty clear that jason would love to bring or have another woman into any relationship he may have if given the chance. I don't see where he is giving any sound advice to help the orginal poster, bascially he is justifying what her husband wants so do. Maybe one day if he falls inlove, truly falls inlove he may have a different take on the whole thing. AB in my opinon I think its wrong and a total disrespect to you as an individual and to the marriage as a whole. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
ShareHer Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by Anna Bolina My husband and I often fantasize during sex, about me with other men. We sometimes use the names of friends to make it seem more "real". Anna, are you ok with fantasizing about having sex with other men? Does the fantasy of having sex with another man while you're having sex with your husband turn you on? Do you ever initiate these fantasies? Have you ever come upon a man in public and thought to yourself, "Hmmmmm, I wonder what he'd be like in bed?" The problem is that now my husband is bored with the fantasy and wants to do a threesome with one of his male friends for real. He has even gone so far as to contact one of his friends, and try to set it up. If your husband offered you the choice of any other man to have sex with and at the time and place you're comfortable with, would that change how you feel about trying a threesome? If you've been on this forum for awhile, you may already know that I too would like my wife to have sex with another man. Regardless of what the resident experts say, this has nothing to do with homosexuality. What does it have to do with? Partly that I find it exciting that other men find my wife hot. Partly that the thought of my wife stepping outside the boundaries of being a housewife and mother and into the area of being a sexual, wild vixen (slut maybe?)is a great big turn on to me. And the thought of her being able to turn on and off the two personalities is quite a sexual rush. Anyway, if being pushed into having sex with another man is what's upsetting you the most ... and even more so because that man is being picked for you, I wonder if you'd feel any different about being with another guy if the choice was completely yours. Link to post Share on other sites
uberfrau Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 i've fantasized about threesomes and more-somes-but it comes down to this: too many body fluids from too many people slopped around. It grosses me out. Money-shots in pornos make me feel nauseous. I can't imagine being in an orgy-all the sweat, spit, cum and poon-juice=YUCK. so it's okay in my fantasy because i can conveniently forget about the sloppiness-in real life, the slop is unavoidable. Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 I find nothing wrong with threesomes bu just as you wouldn't have sex with just any one man you wouldn't have sex with just any two guys. She may not be sexually attracted to this guy in reality and even if she was maybe she'd feel uncomfortable having sex with him. I watch porn and I encourage my hubby to watch it (though he refuses to watch it without me?!!) I often fantasise about my hubby having sex with another woman but in the fantasy he still prefers me. If it happened in reality and he preferred having sex with her I would be devastated. Also if AB had this threesome who's to say how hubby would react afterwards. This is reality, maybe he would be disgusted after the event and look at her in a totally different light. It's a big risk to take, fantasies are void of all emotions. If you've never done this before it's a big step to take doing it while married. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 I do disagree with threesomes but in my experience they are detrimental to long term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Apparently the classic definition of love has succumbed to a rather jaded perception of reality. Let's see... how to quantify this... I won't re-iterate my mathematical equation for love... but I will advise anyone reading this thread, to also consider reading the thread "Please read the Monogamy Myth" in the Marriage Forum. It's rather enlightening if not disheartening. It would seem that marriage based the truest definition of love ever known, has become nothing more than a way to gain immediate physical gratification. Gone is the sacred bonding that was once marriage. Now marriage seems to have no boundaries... I believe an earlier generation called this a "free love society." How can the sharing of the most intimate parts of the psyche with others possibly benefit a marriage, which is the most intimate of bondings? Choosing one and forsaking all others... friends and family alike. You become one with your partner. To introduce another is liken to adding taco seasoning to a chocolate chip cookie. It may look normal from the outside, but once you get into the real substance of it, you find the taste is just downright foul. The idea that sex is just sex is flawed as well. When you reserve that passion for one other, you make a connection that transcends all conscious awareness. And that connection is far more gratifying than any physical pleasures. Link to post Share on other sites
para1 Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Hi All, I realize that I'm jumping in kinda late here.... But I do have a unique perspective. My ex boyfriend and I were together for many many years and he had always fantasized about watching me sleep with one of his friends. He finally decided also that the fantasy wasn't enough. He would bring it up in conversation constantly. After many months, he finally did convince me. We ended up having a threesome with one of his friends. I wasn't that into it, but I went along with it because of him. Stupid me....I know, but I was ALOT younger then! Anyway, after he and his friend had...er...finished, we dropped him off and things seemed fine. Within the next couple of days though it became very clear that he was not okay with what we had done. We started fighting alot, and he finally told me that he blamed me for the threesome happening....and that I shouldn't have "cheated" on him. I was furious and felt completly betrayed, I mean here I was, thinking I was doing something he wanted and he ended up mad at me for it. Our relationship ended not too long after that. Retrospectivly, he was really that great of a guy, and I learned alot. Not taking "no" has become quite a warning light for me! I also learned the threesomes can cause more problems then you'd think. I was with a guy who used every argument, rationalization, and when it came down to it even threats and begging. I heard "if you loved me you'd...." I also heard that it was "just sex" & that there'd be "no emotions." I believe that before it happened, he really thought that he'd be able to just "compartmentalize." In the end he couldn't live with it, and I couldn't respect him for actually wanting me to do it in the first place. Para1 Link to post Share on other sites
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