it's like my life is on repeat!

[ashgirl]

My husband and I got married at 17 due to me getting pregnant. It was tough dealing with still being in high school and him leaving to the military. The first 3 years were really bad for us. Fighting, him cheating, being young and immature. So I filed for divorce because he asked Me to. A few months of us living apart and he regretted his decision. We got back together and went to marriage counseling. Things seemed to be going great. We learned alot. We learned to be more than just spouses, we learned to be friends. A few months later we decided to start trying for a second baby. It was amazing, we were so happy. For the next year we had thrown divorce in there twice. Each 6 months apart brought up by him. We got through it until one day he came home saying he wanted a divorce. I was tired of feeling like I always had one foot out the door. So in a matter of 3wks I had my entire house packed ready to move from cali to tx. A wk before I left he begged me to stay. 99.9% of me wanted to so badly! But I wanted to teach him a lesson. Teach him that he couldnt just toy with me. That he couldnt just have me sometimes. So I left. Stupid me came back after 3months. But we were doing ok. He was so much nicer to me and he was a better father. Then all of a sudden 2 weeks ago he started acting weird. He went out and didnt come home till noon the next day. I wouldve been ok with it if he said what his plans were and if he had not left me waiting for him all night. I was supposed to pick him up. I called over and over. Turns out he passed out drunk. All I wanted was a sincere apology. Instead he went and filed for separation. So now I sit here AGAIN packing my entire house... preparing to uproot my kids. Im ashamed to tell my family AGAIN. And I'm so mad at myself for putting myself back in this place. I try so hard not to cry especially in front of the kids.I'm not strong enough to tell him no if he asked to come back. Its tough because we are either Realllly Good or really bad. Never in between. But I know I deserve better...... whyyyyy meeeee!!!

[Yasuandio]

Why you, honey?

 

Because you have rewarded unacceptable conduct time and time again. By accepting poor treatment, you have devalued yourself in his eyes. At the time, most likely your self esteme has taken a hit as well.

 

How many times do you want to be at this roadblock?

 

I'm going to say something that will hurt - but will hopefully wake you up. The last sentence of your post is pathetic. "Why me?" why dont you go visit a cancer ward and tell someone about to take a dirt nap some "Why Me" pity party crap?

 

You don't want to be pathetic, do you? Time to put big girl panties on and solve this situation. Whenever you start feeling sorry for yourself, which is natural, think of that example - that REALLY worked for me!). You are grown now. You got married too young. Pull yourself together, and begin reading the 180's and NC (no contact). Those articles are in the first thread on Separation and Divorce, the link in on my signature line too. 180's are the most important - you have to keep your dignity. I wish I knew about them before I made a complete idiot out of myself. You'll be OK darling. Yas

[trippi1432]

My first ex and I got married way too young too, he did the serial cheating while I loved him, got preggers, carried his child, went through labor, gave birth, raised a baby, watched her take her first steps, got preggers again, had a miscarriage (I still blame myself for that as I got upset when he quit his 15th job and I knew he was cheating, got upset with him and put our daughter in a stroller to "walk it off"...I over exerted and upset myself to cause it), worked 3 jobs to keep us afloat while he slept and didn't take care of our daughter, gave the ultimatum for him to get a job or we were leaving....he left with a note on the table.

 

You know what you do? You pack your house, you go on to make life what YOU make it as life is too short for wishy washy men who don't know how to be a father much less a husband. You won't have time to ask Why Me when you put yourself and your child first. And when he comes back knocking on that door because you are doing better without him, those big girl panties won't be so hard to pull up. Reserve your kindness for men who deserve it....give your backside to those who want to use you as a doormat.