New Porn Addiction Thread

[beautifulearth83]

Hello, I was reading a previous thread on porn addiction, but was unable to reply to it, so I thought I would start a new one for all interested parties.

 

I've been concerned about my own porn habits. I stopped for a week or two. I really felt great. I was focused at work, engaged in conversation, etc. Then I had a stressful moment and relapsed. It felt good at the time, of course, but then next day and following, I felt remorse, and more detached.

 

So, I don't know if I just judge myself too hard, or if I need to just find a way to balance it.

 

I will say though, that challenging yourself to use your imagination instead of pictures really seems to be a better thing for you.

 

When I don't watch porn, I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to the real experience, but I eventually give in and look at nice young sexy girls online. Blah.

[TheyCallMeOx]

Actually, it IS challenging using your imagination instead of pictures. Biologically, men are more visually stimulated than women -- this is why men statistically watch porn more than women do. It's why women read erotica more than men do -- erotica allows a woman to use her imagination which is a mental stimulation. Women tend to be more mentally stimulated. Most women can just use some kind of toy, turn the lights off, and go at it missionary style while men...well, can't really do that. They can, but it's just extremely difficult. Unless, of course, a man is highly aroused and/or hasn't had any ejaculation in X amount of time.

 

I have attempted to do a lot of research on porn addiction because, quite frankly, I'm suffering from it. I've been watching porn since I was around 11 years old, and I'm almost 24 now. The problem is that internet pornography hasn't been out for a long time, so there's really not a whole lot of extensive studies on pornography addiction when it comes to kids being affected at an early age. Back then, there was only porn flicks and magazines. You had to be a certain age to buy them, and a responsible adult would've kept those adult films/magazines away from their kids.

 

As a result, the target audience for porn was statistically a higher age. When you're older, porn doesn't affect you as much. However, when you're like me...11 years old, still going through puberty, it kind of has a different effect. Now that you and I are getting older, there's studies popping up about people our age suffering with things such as "porn-induced erectile dysfunction." From the evidence I've got, it's still a debated subject. Some people with degrees say that it's "desensitizing" while others say that it's a result of lack of diet and/or exercise.

 

"The real experience" isn't as real as you think it is. A vagina can't compete with a man's hand grip on his junk. From my experience, blowjobs feel better than actual vaginal penetration, but I think that's largely to do with the fact that I've been watching porn for so many years that I'm used to not doing any actual work to bust a nut. When there's vaginal penetration, usually I'm doing a certain amount of work. I'm a doggie style, pull your hair, kind of guy. Only time I like it when a girl is on top is when it's reverse cowgirl. Other than that, it's pretty boring...which brings us back to the visual stimulation. If I can't see what's going on, I don't like it.

 

Vaginal penetration doesn't feel all that amazing. Anal penetration isn't that much better, either. At least when you've been masturbating for a long time.

 

I'm no sex therapist or anything like that, so everything I'm saying is up to debate and may change over time. However, I think that there should at least be some kind of balance. In my opinion, if I could...I'd quit entirely...no porn or masturbation, at all. Realistically? I don't know if I could do that since I don't get laid as much as possible. But you do need to calm the f*ck down. Cut back. You realize the benefits to cutting back, so you know that it's better on the other side...it's just that controlling of our biological desires is...needless to say, rather difficult. People may say "well...stop thinking about sex then" as we're watching a commercial with an attractive model in it. You have to be extremely dedicated to getting rid of a porn addiction, and you'll probably need an alternative. Either sex, or finding some kind of activity to get your mind off of sex. Arousal goes away, so do blue balls, so you're not obligated to "take care" of those things unless you feel like you have to.

 

That's my take on it.

[SerCay]

"The real experience" isn't as real as you think it is. A vagina can't compete with a man's hand grip on his junk.

 

Vaginal penetration doesn't feel all that amazing. Anal penetration isn't that much better, either. At least when you've been masturbating for a long time

 

This is so dangerous. OP and Ox, you both have a serious problem that will ruin your (future) relationships, please please get help for it or try quitting on your own. They say that 3 months of cold turkey is enough to kick the addiction. Long time porn addictions change men's perceptions on almost anything relating to the other sex > looks, actual sex itself, value of women. Also it can cause the madonna-whore syndrome. Trust me, I've seen it happen.

[maturityassets]

 

"The real experience" isn't as real as you think it is. A vagina can't compete with a man's hand grip on his junk. From my experience, blowjobs feel better than actual vaginal penetration, but I think that's largely to do with the fact that I've been watching porn for so many years that I'm used to not doing any actual work to bust a nut. When there's vaginal penetration, usually I'm doing a certain amount of work. I'm a doggie style, pull your hair, kind of guy. Only time I like it when a girl is on top is when it's reverse cowgirl. Other than that, it's pretty boring...which brings us back to the visual stimulation. If I can't see what's going on, I don't like it.

 

Vaginal penetration doesn't feel all that amazing. Anal penetration isn't that much better, either. At least when you've been masturbating for a long time.

 

.

 

This is how I use to view it as well. But really there are number of ways to get out of this and actually view the vagina as better. I was never a porn addict but porn did add to an increase frequency on the number of times I would masturbate in a given week. Now that I've quit porn the number of times I masturbate in a given week is cut back 1/3-1/2 the frequency as before. Secondly you can try masturbate using the other hand, you'll get use to a different sensation over time. Lastly stop putting so much anxiety and anticipation into sex. When I first started I had ED and questioned whether I enjoyed it and much preferred a Blow job. But now I'm done with that, blow jobs for me is just fore play and what I really want to do is have actual sex. It's a total different feeling to ejaculate in a girl rather than with your hand and the pleasure that occurs is amazing. You should be so sensitive and in awe that but you can't help but smile after you ejaculate with a girl. Masturbation on the other hand is a substitute and a pretty dull one. It's reserved for when my girlfriend and I are unable to have sex and its always too quick. You can't force yourself to enjoy sex but you can't accept sex. Its a different experience one that shouldn't be compared to another

[somedude81]

Hello, I was reading a previous thread on porn addiction, but was unable to reply to it, so I thought I would start a new one for all interested parties.

 

I've been concerned about my own porn habits. I stopped for a week or two. I really felt great. I was focused at work, engaged in conversation, etc. Then I had a stressful moment and relapsed. It felt good at the time, of course, but then next day and following, I felt remorse, and more detached.

 

So, I don't know if I just judge myself too hard, or if I need to just find a way to balance it.

 

I will say though, that challenging yourself to use your imagination instead of pictures really seems to be a better thing for you.

 

When I don't watch porn, I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to the real experience, but I eventually give in and look at nice young sexy girls online. Blah.

Why do you believe that you are addicted to porn, instead of just liking it?

 

I masturbate to porn on average twice a day, and I don't believe I'm addicted.

[TheyCallMeOx]

This is so dangerous. OP and Ox, you both have a serious problem that will ruin your (future) relationships, please please get help for it or try quitting on your own. They say that 3 months of cold turkey is enough to kick the addiction. Long time porn addictions change men's perceptions on almost anything relating to the other sex > looks, actual sex itself, value of women. Also it can cause the madonna-whore syndrome. Trust me, I've seen it happen.

 

I agree with you that it changes my perception on sex, but the value of women? Looks? I've been looking at porn for years, and I value women just the same as I value men. Also, I'm very realistic with looks. Maybe for some guys, but definitely not me. Also, 3 months is a very long time. I'm not giving a reason NOT to, but quitting cold turkey for 3 months is...needless to say...unrealistic and extremely difficult to do. For most people, at least.

 

This is how I use to view it as well. But really there are number of ways to get out of this and actually view the vagina as better. I was never a porn addict but porn did add to an increase frequency on the number of times I would masturbate in a given week. Now that I've quit porn the number of times I masturbate in a given week is cut back 1/3-1/2 the frequency as before. Secondly you can try masturbate using the other hand, you'll get use to a different sensation over time. Lastly stop putting so much anxiety and anticipation into sex. When I first started I had ED and questioned whether I enjoyed it and much preferred a Blow job. But now I'm done with that, blow jobs for me is just fore play and what I really want to do is have actual sex. It's a total different feeling to ejaculate in a girl rather than with your hand and the pleasure that occurs is amazing. You should be so sensitive and in awe that but you can't help but smile after you ejaculate with a girl. Masturbation on the other hand is a substitute and a pretty dull one. It's reserved for when my girlfriend and I are unable to have sex and its always too quick. You can't force yourself to enjoy sex but you can't accept sex. Its a different experience one that shouldn't be compared to another

 

You're right, though. I can't force myself to enjoy it, because that leads to flaccid. It's gotta come natural, which is why I believe porn "desensitizes" me. I've lost the natural feeling of my manhood, so that's why a vagina doesn't feel all that great. I do need to quit watching porn, though. For sure.

[beautifulearth83]

Why do you believe that you are addicted to porn, instead of just liking it?

 

I masturbate to porn on average twice a day, and I don't believe I'm addicted.

 

Thanks all for your replies. It's not so much that I feel I'm addicted, but that I'm aware of how addicting it can be, and I don't want to miss out on important parts of my lives because of it. It is the effect it has on me, and my thinking that concerns me.

 

I do think it is realistic to go 3 months without it, and I just might do that.

 

I'm not sure if I mentioned it in my original post, but the Fleshlight has been helping me a bit. I haven't used my hand in over a week or two to reach orgasm, and it has really been helping me feel less like I'm violating myself. It also gives me the experience of thrusting and such.

 

I'm trying to understand and accept my sexuality in general. So this is just a part of it, but yeah, I want to be healthy in my sexual endeavors, and have meaningful relationships.

 

I do have a therapist and may talk with him more about it.

[fitnessfan365]

I've loved porn since I was 9 (went through puberty very early). But it's seriously evil..LOL

 

1) It builds unrealistic expectations.

 

2) It trains you to be aroused to something visual. Sex is way more sensation and feelings based.

 

I had two serious girlfriends from 18-22. But then from 22-29 I didn't date. Too focused on work, school, and finding a career. So my only sexual outlet was porn/masturbation. However, the problem is that when I started having sex regularly, I couldn't cum during. My body had gotten so used to self stimulation that a woman's p**$y couldn't duplicate and I was so tied into visual arousal. Like if a woman is on top, I can't see her hips and ass bouncing. Or if I'm taking a woman from behind, I can't see her facial expressions, etc.. Then even though it had nothing to do with the women I slept with, they started complaining about it taking it personally. So then I started to develop a complex about it, and over think. Since orgasm is mainly mental, it became a serious problem.

 

To this day, I can still only cum during masturbation and porn is definitely the main villain..LOL That's why I've abstained from porn/masturbation now for the last few weeks. I'm hoping that I can re-train my body to rely solely on actual sex for pleasure.

Edited March 31, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[simps0n]

Pornography content is so easily accessible nowadays. I recently read an analysis by Dr. Lasha Darkmoon on the negative effect of porn addiction, especially when accompanied by compulsive masturbation. Google it. Basically, porn is to be avoided.

[empresario]

I want to make things clear. I am a man that has sex but refuses to masturbate. I have also resolved to never fantasize about sex/nudity.

 

 

I am months in, and feel great. I wanted to make sure I said that. NO SEXUAL FANTASY.

 

It is easy to slide back in. Look up resources on 'nofap' and 'rebooting'. Avoid triggers. Don't watch TV. Avoid sites that remind you of porn like Facebook or dating sites. When you see girls walking the sidewalk don't picture their ass or breasts.

 

 

Your problem is you've made a habit of giving into fantasy. Fixing that will help you function, enjoy sex more, and will improve your relationship with women. Your brain is trained to think of sex. It's a brainwave problem. You fix that by mentally denying yourself fantasy. Every time you di it it gets marginally easier.

[empresario]

I've loved porn since I was 9 (went through puberty very early). But it's seriously evil..LOL

 

1) It builds unrealistic expectations.

 

2) It trains you to be aroused to something visual. Sex is way more sensation and feelings based.

 

I had two serious girlfriends from 18-22. But then from 22-29 I didn't date. Too focused on work, school, and finding a career. So my only sexual outlet was porn/masturbation. However, the problem is that when I started having sex regularly, I couldn't cum during. My body had gotten so used to self stimulation that a woman's p**$y couldn't duplicate and I was so tied into visual arousal. Like if a woman is on top, I can't see her hips and ass bouncing. Or if I'm taking a woman from behind, I can't see her facial expressions, etc.. Then even though it had nothing to do with the women I slept with, they started complaining about it taking it personally. So then I started to develop a complex about it, and over think. Since orgasm is mainly mental, it became a serious problem.

 

To this day, I can still only cum during masturbation and porn is definitely the main villain..LOL That's why I've abstained from porn/masturbation now for the last few weeks. I'm hoping that I can re-train my body to rely solely on actual sex for pleasure.

 

It will work. It will also help your view on female sexuality.

 

 

Look up resources on nofap and reboot. Since I stopped masturbation sex has reached an unreal level of pleasure. More than I could have ever imagined. Because it's sensation, not fantasy. It takes months and sometimes years to recover, but you will.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

I'm not a believer in porn or most other non chemical addictions. I've watched a lot of porn & it's a great aid for solo sex. For me it can intensify my orgasms. That said, solo sex can never be equal or better than the real thing. I agree that your own hand or toys can physically feel better than some girls. That's irrelevant though as currently you can't get the whole experience of being with a partner. PI(A,M,V) is only one element of sex. You need it all to be fulfilling IMO. Once they make decent sex androids or cyborgs, that may change a bit.

[Krieger]

I feel porn can be bad for you looking at it everyday and not getting things that matter done.

 

Most of the time when I look at porn it is not because I am in the mood for some alone time if you know what I mean.

 

For me it help me relax because I have a ton on my plate and am stressed out some what.

 

I worry about not getting college done and being stuck at my dead end job. Things like that and not being good enough.

[DJOkawari]

I'm on a "cleanse" from this sort of thing as I've experienced almost no desire to be sexual with a real girl in a while.

 

If the scenario came up I'd be interested but I'm just unwilling to put in the requisite time. This isn't usually a problem for guys in their 20s. No progress yet but it's still early.

[frogs88]

I'm on a "cleanse" from this sort of thing as I've experienced almost no desire to be sexual with a real girl in a while. This isn't usually a problem for guys in their 20s.

 

As in context with porn (ab)use? I'd say its not uncommon at all. specifically for the post internet generation.

[DJOkawari]

As in context with porn (ab)use? I'd say its not uncommon at all. specifically for the post internet generation.

 

Well that's food for thought. I've been going through some other things that minimize the desire for sex as well (pining for this one particular girl, depression). I'm not exactly sure how it all ties together.

 

I used porn as a crutch during those hard times so I don't regret it in that sense but, yeah, I think I have a new problem now. As far as porn addiction goes there are a lot of definitions but I think being sexually satisfied with self love is probably the point where biologically you have a problem.

 

On the other hand I think it makes you a great candidate for dating as you aren't just out there because you're horny.

[frogs88]

As far as porn addiction goes there are a lot of definitions but I think being sexually satisfied with self love is probably the point where biologically you have a problem.

 

That's rings true for me - too often it gets narrowed down to very specific cases of porn addiction.