Question for people 35+ who have never been married

[Mr Scorpio]

So, I guess my question is... If you are 35+ and never married, then why not? Do you see yourself ever being married, or are you just philosophically against it? What would make you want to marry someone?

 

The economy where I live has prevented me from dating, much less considering marriage with all of its concomitant experiences.

[Anela]

I've never been married, and I think it's actually smart of me. The only men who have mentioned having strong feelings for me, have been trouble.

[gaius]

I don't make connections with women to the point I'd like to marry them all that often. It's happened a couple times though. Just hasn't worked out for one reason or another. Still got a bit to go before I hit 35+ though.

 

I don't know Red, I don't see how a guy who sees himself getting married as part of his life plan and just picked the most suitable woman available is a huge improvement on a guy who hasn't married yet for whatever reason. I don't see marriage as a sign someone wants to be commited for life anymore. There's a million other reasons people head to the altar. Pressure from family, it's just what you do, etc etc. Your ex husband didn't seem to take the concept of lifelong commitment all that seriously. I've been broken up with my last girlfriend for almost 6 months and I'm still not totally comfortable with the idea of seriously dating someone else. Despite never being married.

 

You're probably right to avoid guys who say they don't see marriage though. But might be projecting a little about the 20 year old model thing. Not always about the 20 year olds.

[RedRobin]

But for you OP especially, I think you have to stop looking for reasons to cross men of your potential mate list. In my opinion, you are struggling with abandonment issues due to your previous two long term relationships - one where you were cheated on and one where your partner passed away - essentially you were abandoned twice.

 

And now, you are doing what a lot of people do when they struggle abandonment issues, and that is rejecting people before you can be abandoned. It's self preservation. At some point you are going to have to take that risk, and when you're ready it won't matter if the guy had never been married, or if he had a FWB 10 years ago, or if there are a couple ONS in his past, etc. You will accept him for who he is now and not what he did or did not do in his past.

 

And until you're ready to take that risk, you likely aren't ready to be in a relationship yourself (no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise).

 

 

Yes, I realize this.

 

 

However, unlike people who are likely self-medicating by having FWB and ONS... I've sought counseling for my abandonment issues when it comes to romantic relationships.

 

 

If they don't view it that way... if they view it as 'sowing oats' or 'being free and single' then we have a difference in values. I am not interested in men who can easily separate sex and emotions. Since THAT TOO is part of our current culture (for both men and women), that makes it much harder to find someone I'm compatible with on values.

 

 

... and while I know for sure I was guilty of dumping a couple of guys prematurely early on... since I recognized that pattern, I stopped it... I go slow now, and am very deliberate.

 

 

These days, if a guy gets dumped, it's absolutely because of his current actions... and his current actions show that he is not commitment or relationship oriented, or he has a history of other bad habits that cause stress in a relationship (substance, financial, etc) ... backed up by his choices and behaviors in the past that he has not cared to modify.

 

 

I've spent a lot of time talking to and analyzing my parent's marriage, and those of my friends and other relatives. I'm very fortunate to have examples of healthy relationships around me.

 

 

There IS a 'secret sauce' as it were... that kept them together while others broke apart (including my own). I'm only one component of that 'secret sauce'... but I know what it looks like.

 

 

Like XXOO said earlier... I AM concerned that the never married don't want or are afraid of the interdependency that any healthy marriage/relationship has. Or are so set in their ways, that compromise is impossible. Granted, there are lots of divorced people who feel the same way... and that is why they are divorced or remain single.

 

 

I don't think screening out people who have demonstrated those tendencies = abandonment issues.

Edited March 24, 2014 by RedRobin

[martaldn]

Im 35 and never been married or with children and I dont have a clue why I am still single.

[RedRobin]

And even if that was so. A first marriage doens't have children issues? Children are one of the biggest stress factors in a relationship, whether your own or others. And I am not just talking commitment as in ; lets stay together as long as everything is peachy'. This just means the lack of commitment to make the 2 families work (very black & white, I know, and I am sure there are a lot of exceptions, but also a lot of lack of dedication). Thats why I asked; what does marriage mean to you as a divorcee? Seeing those statistics seriously makes me scared marrying a divorcee.

 

Marriage means the same to me now as it ever did... however, I'm much more informed about the habits and behaviors people have BEFORE marriage that make or break their behavior IN a marriage. Especially as it applies to today's culture. THAT was what I did not know prior to marrying who I did.

 

 

My now ex-H cheated on me and confessed. We went to counseling together for over a year. He is the one who wanted to divorce me after all that. Still.

 

 

I'd hardly consider that a lack of commitment on my part. I don't even regret the effort that took, or the nearly two years I spent date free and celibate afterwards.

 

 

I met a wonderful man... my fiancée... afterwards. Who died.

 

 

Eff me.

[Emilia]

 

Sometimes I wake up and feel like my life is a nightmare. I don't go around trying to trick women. All I do is honest. It's just at some point I stop and I don't go any further and you can't really do that and have a real relationship.

 

I like to think maybe it's because I am waiting for the right girl, but it's getting pretty late in the game. Maybe there is just something wrong with me.

 

It became a habit, you need to break it by making yourself open up and seek the discomfort of getting out of your comfort zone.

[FitChick]

An acquaintance met her boyfriend on a dating website. After a year of dating, she moved in. A year later they were engaged and now, a year after that, they will be getting married (two months from now). She is 34 and he is 45. Neither of them were ever married, they did have long term relationships with others and they are both successful professionals.

 

In the past two years, they attended several weddings of her friends, who were in their thirties. I think going to so many weddings and having a good time persuaded him to pop the question!

 

I think people are waiting longer and longer and that is the norm.

[skydiveaddict]

So, I guess my question is... If you are 35+ and never married, then why not?

 

Multiple deployments

 

What would make you want to marry someone?

 

Someone I fell in love with who could deal with my work schedule (I'm on the road 6 weeks at a time), and could put up with my weird hobbies.

[suladas]

I'm a few years away from that still

 

I wouldn't judge someone instantly being 35 and never married, it would raise questions though. I definitely hope I am married by then although wouldn't get married for the sake of it so who knows for sure. One of my biggest concerns of it is the lack of effort so many put into it these days, as someone else said I don't really believe in divorce except for rare circumstances. If you get married you take the time to know it is right and put the effort into making it work instead of giving up if things aren't perfect. Divorced raises more flags then never married off the start, but in each case I would take the time to see instead of making an assumption.

[RedRobin]

An acquaintance met her boyfriend on a dating website. After a year of dating, she moved in. A year later they were engaged and now, a year after that, they will be getting married (two months from now). She is 34 and he is 45. Neither of them were ever married, they did have long term relationships with others and they are both successful professionals.

 

In the past two years, they attended several weddings of her friends, who were in their thirties. I think going to so many weddings and having a good time persuaded him to pop the question!

 

I think people are waiting longer and longer and that is the norm.

 

 

There is no shortage of older men wanting to marry much younger women... Especially when those men get in their 40's and they FINALLY face reality that it's now or never on the kid thing.

 

 

Even if they don't want kids. Same thing. It's why I refuse to date men who have a history or stated preference for that. I dumped a guy last year who I found out dated and 'fell in love' with a woman young enough to be his daughter... even asked her to marry him (she dumped him)... but had a FWB (according to him) with a woman close to his own age. Riiiiight.

 

 

It's the new thing these days. Tread water in a relationship with a woman your own age... then call it a FWB after the fact so he can pursue much younger women and not be called a cheater. He never was able to give me a straight answer on the overlap. Dirtbag.

 

 

After that guy, I swore off men who 'claim' to have been in a FWB arrangement. I have my doubts the woman agreed to it... unless I have the chance to talk to her about it, I ain't buying it. Same way I have my doubts that players get casual sex without lying.

[gaius]

I sit here trying to come up with a way to refute what you just said but I can't. Guys do pull a lot of nonsense like that.

 

Still, there are some who wouldn't and I think you're making the pool of those even smaller by throwing out guys who never married. Seems to have worked out for Warren Beatty and Anette Bening. He could have a 20 year old model if he wanted.

[RedRobin]

Meh. I still think Annette Bening is an idiot.

 

 

She could have gotten a guy her own age to raise a family with... or do what Michelle Pfeifer did... start a family THEN find the guy.... if she thought she was running out of time.

 

 

Warren Beatty is the perfect example of an over the hill player dude who finally 'settled down'. Exactly the kind of never married guy I'd avoid like the plague.

Edited March 25, 2014 by RedRobin

[d0nnivain]

So, I guess my question is... If you are 35+ and never married, then why not? Do you see yourself ever being married, or are you just philosophically against it? What would make you want to marry someone?

 

 

I was 41 when I got married. I met DH when I was 39 & he was 34. Neither of us had ever been married. He only had 1 LTR which ended almost 10 years earlier. He'd been burned so badly it took him a long time to get back on the horse. I found him to be a diamond in the rough. He valued loyalty & fidelity so much that it was refreshing.

 

 

I had been in 3 prior LTRs. One I wanted to marry in my 20s but he didn't think I was traditional / feminine enough & he knew I had no interest in being a SAHM. The next guy claimed not to believe in marriage & kept giving me the "It's just a piece of paper" BS but I was in love & let it slide. The 3rd guy well he was probably a rebound for me so . . . .

 

 

I never thought marriage was all that. I always assumed it would happen but I never dreamed about it. Heck when I was wedding planning I had no idea what I wanted. The annoying sales people always asked me what my dream was & I replied with a work based goal. They didn't know what do to with me.

 

 

Many people of my generation saw the generation before us ruin marriage. It wasn't special. It wasn't forever. Vows got broken. people cheated. It just didn't seem to matter so in our 20s & early 30s it wasn't a priority. The milk & sausage was free so who needed the cow & the pig. It seemed like they were just going to divorce anyway & the stigma was gone so it didn't make a difference.

 

 

If you genuinely like some guy over 35+ who has never been married, don't discard him as defective or unable to commit. Just assume he's picky.

[Woggle]

 

 

Many people of my generation saw the generation before us ruin marriage. It wasn't special. It wasn't forever. Vows got broken. people cheated. It just didn't seem to matter so in our 20s & early 30s it wasn't a priority. The milk & sausage was free so who needed the cow & the pig. It seemed like they were just going to divorce anyway & the stigma was gone so it didn't make a difference.

 

 

 

This right here. The baby boomers and the me generation ruined marriage then they wonder why generation X and Y are so afraid of it. We learned from example that is little value unless you find that rare person who does value it.

[MissBee]

I admit I'm not within that demographic, but I don't honestly see why 'never married' is any worse than 'divorced'. There are a huge range of possibilities for both of the above outcomes. The 'never married' person could be a commitmentphobe, or could have focused on his career exclusively in his 20s and 30s, or none of his LTRs reached that point, or he was just a ****ty partner, or... On the other hand, the 'divorced' person could have had the marriage dissolve through no fault of his own, or he could have actually contributed to the demise through being a terrible partner, or he could have married after a whirlwind romance and hadn't really thought things through, or he didn't take marriage seriously... The list goes on.

 

Rather than speculate on all of the above possibilities, perhaps better to get to know the person himself first?

 

I am not in that demographic either but I agree.

 

My assumption, if the person hasn't said they don't believe in marriage, is that they simply haven't found the right one. That's simply my default assumption and not that anything is wrong with them.

 

Being on one's second (plus) marriage in your thirties doesn't seem like that great of a deal to me to be honest. I suppose I do not see someone who is divorced as a safer bet or exhibiting more of a likelihood to commit than one who hasn't taken that step. In fact, it can say quite the opposite. However, as you said, I wouldn't go with any sweeping generalizations but would have to hear this person's story and understand their life path to make a judgment about them and commitment. For me it's simply not my default to assume never married = red flag. My friend however, who is 34, who married at 19 and divorced in her twenties has expressed a similar idea that she doesn't trust a man in his 40s who has never been married. I disagreed with her about it and now I'm thinking maybe those who themselves have been married and divorced are more likely to hold that bias/POV than those who have not, based on their own life.

 

I want to get married eventually but am not in any rush to simply marry for the sake of it and seeing that my standards are high and I'm also careful and cautious, it makes sense for me why waiting is best. I guess based on that my assumption about other people is a bit similar, where I just assume that they haven't found the one and didn't want to settle, which is commendable to me and more comforting than having a string of divorces behind you.

[RedRobin]

^^ It's possible that she just doesn't like men 40+ who have never been married and are chasing after her using the line that they are finally ready to settle down now. Ok, why weren't they before?? That would be my question. Has been my question. The answer I usually get is that they view(ed) marriage/commitment as a burden. Locked down. Ball and chain... all negatives.

 

 

I'm a little suspect the older they get because of the tendency for so many to just keep messing around as long as possible. aka Warren Beatty. Although, he was older than that when he married Annette Bening and started a family.

 

 

Definitely not my cup of tea to be strapped to some guy who only thinks about settling down because his player days are drawing to a close and he feels the need to lock one down.

 

 

Same reason lots of guys are wary of women who messed around a lot in their 20's-30's who now want to get married and start a family.

[TXGuy]

There are some men that spent their 20s and 30s concentrating on their careers. A reasonably common occurrence I have seen is of a smart ambitious guy that is of average looks and average to below charisma. In his 20s, he might get limited attention from women who are often playing with the fun, exciting, hansom guys. So, he focuses on his career, which provides immediate positive feedback (rather than frequent rejection). His career starts to take off. This financial and status success brings some interest from women, but women in their 20s don't tolerate the long hours and cancelled plans that come with a gigh end, demanding career. So, the guy could have a few decent relationships that fizzle out because he doesn't have enough time to devote to his woman that likes his status but not his hours.

 

Thirty five (35) is about the time that many of those guys wake up and realize it is time to prioritize starting a family over climbing the corporate ladder.

 

Personally I think those types of guys, between 35 and 40, probably have a reasonably high likelihood of wanting to get married. Additionally, these are the guys that will be able to provide a very comfortable lifestyle for a family.

 

However, the analysis changes significantly as that type of guy passes 40.

[Firebabe]

I am 43 never been married , single for 2 years after a 11 year ltr. No I cant see myself getting married. If I met a man that I actually clicked with and found true love and he proposed I still don't know if I would.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Although men are being isolated as the commitment phobes in this conversation, it's definitely not just one-sided and there are many issues.

 

And there are definitely women who are unhappily married, dissatisfied with their relationships and unfulfilled in many ways and yet it's not because they necessarily are happier in those situations (even though they might tell themselves they are - women do a lot of self talk and convincing) it's that they still at the end of the day choose to say in those relationships because they'd rather believe in change or that walking away from "everything that we've built together" as not an option, mostly out of fear/abandonment issues or insecurities, I personally don't attribute that to love because that's not what love is to me..but regardless of how terrible circumstances may be to them, they oftend choose to stay, and that's supposed to be something to be, proud of?...I mean is that what "value" and "tradition" is to some people? a sacrifice beyond reason and common sense? because walking away from a relationship like that would be considered "cowardly"?

 

Furthermore, do you expect men to stick around through abuse, neglect or infidelity because not doing so would be "giving up"? is that treatment just exclusive to women? because that's really all I ever read here being argued openly about by women, I don't see women's confessing to the things they have done to men. And if your partner that you married engaged in that activity, doesn't that automatically in itself declare perfectly in practice that you have a conflict in values and shouldn't be together? so why isn't it simple even at that point? what makes that person you are married to any better than some scumbag douchebag having some kind of FWB situation or just being single, oh because you "love" him?...I mean the purpose of you getting married in the first place was supposedly because you shared the same values...right? But if that man demonstrates the same behavior you loathe, doesn't that make him equally as undeserving of your love and commitment?

 

And what about the women with relationship issues, which are really personal issues blamed on men or anyone else for that matter, I'm sure lesbians are not excluded from that. What about the women who cheat or juggle romantic interest with men in order to bag the best man or fits them into slots to fit her incessant needs? or are just truly so scared to trust a man or invest themselves emotionally out of fear of being hurt that they instead choose to be the abuser who hurt a ton of men? yet conveniently shut away and turn a blind eye to their own behavior because they're so caught up in how they feel that they don't consider the feelings of the people they are hurting in the process. It's always funny to me how cold and straight-faced, numb even people are when they are hurting someone else, but when it's them it's like the sky is falling.

 

This might not be a reality to you RR, since you're a woman and you don't have to deal with the other side of dating women, but there's women with a lot of issues out there and who are completely hypocritical and like you, make a lot of judgments and generalizations about men and how they are and yet unlike you, continue to act out in ways that they supposedly condemn men for, but not themselves. It's not fair, it's not right, there's no justice...people are fighting for what's in their best interest...period.

 

The problem is most people aren't looking in the mirror when talking about the opposite sex, relationships or marriage. They're just talking about men or women as if they themselves are essentially perfect or of course "not perfect but at least working on their issues/problems" whether that results in anything at the end of the day is irrelevant to most, after all most people continue on with their issues...how many people have you met that had an issue then just magically made it go away? the fact is it's easier to accept your own faults and issues and see them as acceptable because you're the crazy person that's used to dealing with them to the degree that they are "normal" to you that you don't even recognize how crazy or unstable you might appear to people on the outside.

 

When I talk to women and men about their issues I can understand their perspective and why they're doing things based on their own point of view and emotions, but it's never a complete perspective...they're never seeing themselves in what they're doing as clearly as others are, most people feel they are consistently the victim out of complete control of the situation instead of taking responsibility, whatever part of that they may have to do so, it's not always the who's acting out, it's how you respond and react to that which is just as important...whether they are the perpetrator or the enabler, they don't take responsibility for their own actions and consider the affects of their behavior and how that affects their relationship with other people and what that says about themselves.

 

Anyway, men are condemned by just avoiding or passing up all these good women just because they want to settle down at the last minute, because supposedly they're just philandering and sleeping with every available woman because as men we definitely recognize how realistic that is for most men in fact women should be a little embarrassed for how easily they claim men can do that because the reality is men get off on that point of view because you by far overestimate their capability just because they can sleep with a woman here and there, the reality is most guys don't have the capability to do anything anywhere near that, and they're not just having FWB's with women because they're planning on waiting until 40 years old either, it's just about options and goals.

 

But we're not supposed to condemn women for passing up that short, unattractive or unsuccessful guy. Or the guy who has a small penis or is terrible in bed, or doesn't know how to do anything, who's unsuccessful and doesn't meet your "standards" because when it comes to men you're allowed to have them but if good-looking successful men want a fit, sexy and attractive woman then he's a jerk who's shallow and superficial even though you just shot yourself in the damn foot two seconds ago without even realizing it. Women paint this picture of a perfect man and they all cheer and woo each other, but when men do that they're frowned on and boo'd so they've got to make up BS and pretend that "it's not the most important thing to me" then women go "aww....what a great guy!"

 

So that part of it is just a joke, unfortunately people are invested in these ideas and images in their heads that angers them towards the opposite sex and constantly try to find evidence of the contrary, they want to proven "wrong" but like a Ferris wheel it never ends or is ever good enough, there's no acceptance of the reality or imperfectness of men and women, and yet ultimately somehow at the end of the day you think that's going to attract the perfect mate, which doesn't exist anyway...so good luck with that.

[EasyHeart]

An acquaintance met her boyfriend on a dating website. After a year of dating, she moved in. A year later they were engaged and now, a year after that, they will be getting married (two months from now). She is 34 and he is 45. Neither of them were ever married, they did have long term relationships with others and they are both successful professionals.

 

In the past two years, they attended several weddings of her friends, who were in their thirties. I think going to so many weddings and having a good time persuaded him to pop the question!

 

I think people are waiting longer and longer and that is the norm.

This is certainly the norm in my peer group.

 

I think a lot of it is cultural. It never even occurred to me to think about marriage until my 30s. When I went to my 20 year high school reunion (when my friends and I were 37 or 38), very few of my friends had married in their 20s. Many were still single and the rest were recently married.

 

It also depends on what the person has been doing for the past 10-15 years. My friends and I made big investments into education and careers, and those sorts of things are best done while single. If you spend your 20s and 30s making something of yourself, I think that will probably make you a better partner. If you spend that time partying and ****ing bitches, then it probably doesn't.

 

Some of it may simply be choice. I think 35 is kind of the prime time for a lot of men's dating lives, so don't be surprised if he's not champing at the bit to get married.

 

And of course, the reason for any of us being single is ultimately an individual choice. I don't think it makes any sense to make blanket pronouncements about "all men never married at 35". Why not just ask him? Whenever I go on a first date, I always expect the woman to ask me why I'm still single. And I always ask her the same thing!!!

[RedRobin]

It also depends on what the person has been doing for the past 10-15 years. My friends and I made big investments into education and careers, and those sorts of things are best done while single.

 

 

Nearly all of my family and friends did those things while married. This is the disconnect with a lot of people these days. They believe that there is some magical time in their lives will be better... I see it more as a desire for delayed adolescence... not some kind of mature decision.

 

 

If you spend your 20s and 30s making something of yourself, I think that will probably make you a better partner. If you spend that time partying and ****ing bitches, then it probably doesn't.

 

 

I disagree. If you spend your 20s and 30's hopping from person to person or relationship to relationship, you haven't learned anything about how to be married. At all. It just reinforces bad habits and the idea when things are tough... you move on to the next person.

 

Some of it may simply be choice. I think 35 is kind of the prime time for a lot of men's dating lives, so don't be surprised if he's not champing at the bit to get married.

 

 

I guess I'm doing my part to make sure I'm not part of that equation... that I'm not enabling their commitment phobia. Prime time. psssh.

 

And of course, the reason for any of us being single is ultimately an individual choice. I don't think it makes any sense to make blanket pronouncements about "all men never married at 35". Why not just ask him? Whenever I go on a first date, I always expect the woman to ask me why I'm still single. And I always ask her the same thing!!!

 

 

For lots of them, I don't have to. I have a hard time enabling the perma-bachelors.

[todreaminblue]

43 never married had a common law marriage for fifteen years broke up a long time ago......i do think ill get married one day maybe not on this earth though...i believe in marriage......the guys i have been with didnt understand the concept i do however understand it and love the whole eternal prinicpal......deb

[Woggle]

If single people saw more genuinely happy marriages maybe it would be more appealing to them. I have friends that swore they would never marry say they would consider it if they met a woman like my wife. I do believe that most men want a woman they can share their life with but most don't want an ex wife who drains his wallet and shoves him out of his children's lives. Divorced dad who gets to see his kids once every two weeks if he is lucky is not a position most men aspire to and that seems to be where an awful lot of marriages end up these days.

[RedRobin]

And if your partner that you married engaged in that activity, doesn't that automatically in itself declare perfectly in practice that you have a conflict in values and shouldn't be together? so why isn't it simple even at that point? what makes that person you are married to any better than some scumbag douchebag having some kind of FWB situation or just being single, oh because you "love" him?...I mean the purpose of you getting married in the first place was supposedly because you shared the same values...right? But if that man demonstrates the same behavior you loathe, doesn't that make him equally as undeserving of your love and commitment?

 

 

In my case, if he hadn't confessed of his own accord, then I would have walked away the instant I learned of it. The only reason I even considered staying is because he told me... I didn't discover it.

 

This might not be a reality to you RR, since you're a woman and you don't have to deal with the other side of dating women, but there's women with a lot of issues out there and who are completely hypocritical and like you, make a lot of judgments and generalizations about men and how they are and yet unlike you, continue to act out in ways that they supposedly condemn men for, but not themselves. It's not fair, it's not right, there's no justice...people are fighting for what's in their best interest...period.

 

 

yes, I know... and you've been here long enough to know that I get on those women when they are hurting men.

 

But we're not supposed to condemn women for passing up that short, unattractive or unsuccessful guy. Or the guy who has a small penis or is terrible in bed, or doesn't know how to do anything, who's unsuccessful and doesn't meet your "standards" because when it comes to men you're allowed to have them but if good-looking successful men want a fit, sexy and attractive woman then he's a jerk who's shallow and superficial even though you just shot yourself in the damn foot two seconds ago without even realizing it. Women paint this picture of a perfect man and they all cheer and woo each other, but when men do that they're frowned on and boo'd so they've got to make up BS and pretend that "it's not the most important thing to me" then women go "aww....what a great guy!"

 

 

I've dated and have fallen in love with some of those guys... the 'short, unattractive, unsuccessful guy... who has a small penis, or is terrible in bed, or doesn't know how to do anything, who is unsuccessful" blah blah... I focus on their character and how they treat me.

 

 

What I've learned, and you know just as well as I do, is that lots of those guys use their "fill in the blank" shortcomings to rationalize away some seriously poor behaviors when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, I've learned that the long term behaviors that make someone a better partner really don't have an ideal 'outer package'. It's why I'm even CONSIDERING dating men of a certain age who haven't committed before. Maybe their circumstance IS extraordinary. Who knows??

 

 

 

... and about the guy who wants the sexy, fit attractive woman... I haven't blamed a guy for wanting that. The problem is when they want more than one... and one after that, then another one, and another one... until he's shot his wad and reached the pinnacle of his womanizing and plateau...oh YEA, I'm supposed to feel priviledged now... he wants to settle down with ME! Not. Did I hit a nerve??

 

 

Those guys are a poor risk. I have a hard time justifying an investment in those guys. Still do.