notashyviolet Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 So I ended an abusive marriage about 11 yrs ago. I've been with a loving man - my now-husband, for 10 yrs now. I thought I had effectively dealt with the past. However, last night we met up with two of my old girlfriends from that abusive time period of my life. They were in no way affiliated with my ex husband, nor are today. However seeing them, as lovely women as they both are, has stirred up emotions I thought were at bay. It's not their fault, but I'm trying to cope today and find myself incredibly lost. I'm recalling the type of woman I once was and am having a tough time reconciling the past with today. Suggesting I have PTSD is a long stretch. But something is definitely brewing and I'm angry, emotional and edgy. I can't wait for my love to come home today from work, so I can cry then go punch the sh*t out of my heavy bag. Too much for a Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
TAV Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Why would it be a long stretch? Mental and physical abuse change your personality. It's hard to regain yourself completely. Glad you ended up with a better man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I was battered by my ex on a regular basis. Emotionally and violently. I use the memories to make me never accept that treatment again, dished out to me in the false name of love. You won`t forget but you can see what you are now and that is someone good. With someone who respects you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) Anything or anyone who was in your life during the past abusive period can act as a memory and feeling trigger. You see your friends from that time period and BOOM! Your past is suddenly and fully recalled like it was yesterday. Normal and PTSD related. It will go away the more time you spend with these friends. Just avoid same activities or locations from the past for a while. Desensitization is what you need. Continued short term exposure. Leave the minute you feel uncomfortable. Or breathe and relax to extend time a bit. It will get better. But if you rarely see friends, it may happen every time you see them. In that case get some photographs of them or talk to them more often on the phone while looking at the photographs. Just understanding it can also help minimize anxiety. Hug. Remind yourself that the past abuse is firmly and clearly in the past. You're now with a supportive non-abuser. That means the world. You are safe Edited May 5, 2014 by blueskyday 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Niqunar Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I seem to think emotional responses like the ones you exhibit are normal. my biggest problem is I tend to compare myself to other girls who are getting married/engaged. Some are even having children, buying a house or have happy little lives. I get upset bc I used to be happy with my life and then I met him and an initially wonderful period of my life turned into a bad one. I get mad at myself and I blame myself for letting him tear me down when I could have made better decisions and had what my friends do instead of enviously comparing myself to them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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