My Ex's Best Friend

[C88kie]

Well...Last year, my ex boyfriend asked me to get back with him. I was already in a relationship so we agreed to be friends. After hanging out a couple times we slept together. I know it was stupid but it was easy to do because we have a 6 year history. I was honest with my boyfriend and told him I cheated and we broke up. Me and my ex never really made anything official. We were just messing around. All of a sudden he cut contact with me. After 3 whole months of not hearing from him,he comes out as gay and a full time transgender. I was so pissed at him, I didn't speak to him for months. He kept trying to contact me but I put him on my reject list. I finally forgave him after a while because I love him like family and I can't see us never speaking to each other again. I was over him hurting me so I decided to not give him the power to do it anymore and just move on as friends.

 

We started hanging out again. His best friend moved in so the majority of the time I was there....he was there. He's always flirted with me and I always thought he was cute but I ignored him out of respect for my ex. Recently, my ex told me his friend asked him if he thinks he has a chance with me. My ex says he told him "No" and admitted he was jealous and still has feeling for me but he understands I need a manly man. So I decided it to introduce him to my best friend. They hit it off from the day they met....or so I could see. Months have passed and they're still not in a relationship. Lately he's been flirting with me a whole lot behind my ex's back and ignoring my friend. So she asked me to talk to him to see how he feels about her. I spoke to him and he told me he doesn't want to be with her but he doesn't want to hurt her. That's a conversation for the two of them to have so I told her to talk to him. Last night, we were all drinking and hanging out. He was flirting with me all night and he didn't care who saw. Somehow we ended up alone together. He gave me this look that made me weak and we kissed passionately:love:. We found ourselves sneaking kisses every chance we could get as the night went on.

 

The attraction between us is very intense. I haven't felt like this in a while and I love it. The problem is, we both know if my best friend or my ex finds out they will both be very angry with us. So we've decided to keep this a secret and don't want to stop. Are we wrong if we keep this up? I love when the 4 of us get together. We always have a blast. I'm afraid it will become a problem for us all to hang out if they know.

Edited March 24, 2014 by C88kie

[darkmoon]

the two of you must tactfully phase out of the quad, the four of you, to avoid drama/s, no good will come of a confession, you two like each other, move on, and if they phone you, it is not your problem if they are angry, say bye and wish all the best to them

[PegNosePete]

You are playing with fire.

 

If you're fine with that then it's up to you, but chances are it will come out eventually, and you'll lose the friendships of both your ex and your friend.

[ExpatInItaly]

Oy, sticky situation. I think the four of you need to stop hanging out together so much. Because when the truth comes out (and it eventually will, if you decide to pursue this) it's going to make a sh*tstorm even worse by showing the others how long you kept up the deception. Also, if there are lingering feelings towards each other you and your ex should be keeping some distance anyhow.

 

I think your new interest needs to end it immediately with your best friend. Don't go near him again unless and until he does. He should do so anyway if he really doesn't see a future with her. If he doesn't, your're going to wind up feeling hurt and jealous when he spends time and flirts with her.

 

As for your ex...if you decide that you would like to date his best friend, you need to have a very honest talk with him. You very likely won't love his reaction. But it is far, far better that he hear it from you and not through the grapevine. Be prepared for the possibility that you will lose his friendship over this.