Tom.Smith Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Me and this girl have been friends for a couple of years now and we currently both live in the same college dorm. We often spend too much time together (studying and such), sometimes > 12hrs/day. This sometimes leads to us getting annoyed by one another and bickering occurs. About a week ago she started acting distant and after me asking a few times if something was wrong, she eventually said that she wanted some space for a while. She said she doesn't know what she wants right now as far as the relationship goes and that she doesn't know when she will know this information. We were civil for a few days and talked in group settings but didn't go out of our way to talk to one another. On Sunday, we hung out and things were going well for a while before we began arguing about where to take things from here as she still does not know what she wants. I simple told her that she needs to decide what she wants and that I would appreciate it if she didn't talk to me until she decided this. I told her this whole situation has caused me significant stress and that I didn't want to face more of it until she knows what she wants and we can take it from there. Was what I said to her an overreaction on my part? Thanks in advance for your opinions! -Tom Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 You guys are not meant to be spending so much time together. Obviously, this isn't any kind of match for you if you want 12 hours a day and she doesn't. Friends do get very burnt out on each other if they spend too much time. It's cabin fever. You need to just limit your time to a couple of hours and completely back off unless she suggests something. If you can't only do a couple of hours every few days or something like that, you are more invested and need to walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Stop spending 12 hours per day with her & your relationship ought to be fine. Familiarity breeds contempt Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 On Sunday, we hung out and things were going well for a while before we began arguing about where to take things from here as she still does not know what she wants. I simple told her that she needs to decide what she wants and that I would appreciate it if she didn't talk to me until she decided this. I told her this whole situation has caused me significant stress and that I didn't want to face more of it until she knows what she wants and we can take it from there. How did that argument start? Surely she wasn't the one to bring up "the relationship" since she still didn't know what she wanted, so I have to assume that you were the one to bring it up. So you pretty much started an argument then gave her an ultimatum and told her to stop talking to you until she figures it out? I guess that's one way to handle it, but I bet she didn't appreciate being put on the spot with ultimatums. And you probably made her feel badly by telling her that she's the cause of your "significant stress." This isn't a good approach to pursuing a girl you like. Link to post Share on other sites
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