need advice Posted February 3, 2001 Share Posted February 3, 2001 ok, here we go.... my boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and three months. we have had a realy good realtion ship and i can't complain. there is however one thing that sometimes bothers me. his main hobby is computer games and things like that. he spends most of his time at home on the computer. he'll either be talking to people on internet chat programs, but he'll mostly be on games. i don't mind this, but it seems that whenever i call him, he's playing, or he has to leave from an online chat because of a practice or match against another team. i don't mind him playing, but when i call him and he is playing, he doesn't really talk, but instead plays the game. in school, all him and his friends takl about is computers and stuff. it's like im left out at lunch. lately, i have been trying to get more information on these computer games, and have even tried playing them. i talked to my b/f about this and he has said he's sorry and he'll stop being so obsessed with the games. i dont want him to give up one of his favorite hobbies, yet i want him to pay attention to me too. i am just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. people have said to dump hiom, but i dont want to. he has started to pay more attention to me and the games dont consume his life. also, is there anything i can do to keep our relationship from getting boring? i would apreciate any help any one can give. thank you, me Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 3, 2001 Share Posted February 3, 2001 I really can't figure out what the problem is. You don't want to leave this guy and you say things are getting better since you had a talk with him. He has started paying more attention to you and less to these games. As far as stimulating the relationship, anybody who loves computer games needs a lot of visual and mental stimulation. You need to keep your activities interesting and active. You really have a challenge ahead because even though he has sort of changed a bit for you, the real test will be if that change is a lasting one. Communication between the two of you is the most important thing to keep going. If you keep an ongoing dialogue between the two of you and you discuss the relationship, your likes and dislikes...his too...things should always be fine for the both of you. I don't recommend you get involved in these games, though. That's something he should do away from you. You shouldn't have to compromise yourself just to get involved in something like that, which really doesn't involve much personal interaction. One day he'll grow up a bit and see how much more important you are than anything else...that's when things will be great. Meanwhile, hang in there. He's really lucky to have sometime like you to put up with his games. Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted February 3, 2001 Share Posted February 3, 2001 Hey I think you should feel lucky your bf has hobbies in his life!... My bf used to do programming 24-7... well, i didn't like that very much but whatever... and then at some point he stopped programming - he said I'm more fun than programming... well it sounded sweet but boy oh boy!! he tried to be with ME 24-7! that SUX after a week or two, believe me! it's getting better now cuz he got back to programming and all... anyway my point is it's great that he has hobbies. have yr own. that way u have variety... and the less u see him, the happier u'll be to see him when u do! =) As for lunch, I wouldn't stay with him and his friends if they're talking computers... go talk about make-up with your girl-friends =) he'll prolly be around looking for you in no time good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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