quidproquo89 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I dated a girl last month and it didn't work out, but I learnt a lot from it. I want to get out there and meet more girls and just socialise and have fun generally. Problem is I live in a tiny town in the middle of the country and I don't really socialise there as there isn't much going on. I was thinking I'd like to start socialising in one of the larger towns about 40 minutes away. I'm not sure how to get my foot in the door. I looked on google for social clubs. All I found was a football club, which I'm not really at a standard I feel to play, a site that costs about £200 for the year. I'm not well off. Apart from that there isn't much. How on earth does on who doesn't know an area well, get stuck in? I have tried to get work there but the competition is soo steep, so I can't seem to get in that way. I simply don't know how to get involved. They have lots of pubs and clubs. But I would feel weird about going to a bar by myself, like a bit of a loner. Surrounded by strangers. You know what I mean, I am a little shy. But not overly so, normal guy who is able to make conversation, and a laugh, but if you don't know anybody. As for social clubs, as I say I don't really see any. I feel weird about joining clubs by myself anyway. Bit buggered. Put it this way also, I've had three female interests in three years, each lasted a month. I don't want to go a long time between female interests. I work at a local store in this small town, but to be fair there aren't many girls and most of them have bf's. I have two mates in my town and they both have gf's and are 10 and 15 years older than me. So they wont go to the bigger towns with me and socialise as they already have there circles. Mates are 30's and 40's, so I'm not going to date anyone of there ages as I am 24. So hanging out in there circles isn't going to work. I really feel like I can't approach girls at bars, I'm not abnormally shy, just feel very comfortable doing it. In a no pressure social environment, fine. But bars don't really do it for me. Hope this doesn't sound whiney, I'm being realistic. Don't know how to meet girls. naturally they just come around, you know when you least expect it. But the last two left me particularly hurt. One bombarded me with messages and the lost interest and wouldn't even talk or look at me in person. For no reason. The other I went on a date and she messaged me morning, lunchtimes and nights without fail for weeks. but after our second date, she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. Despite telling me, I cringe when saying, via text that she really wanted me. I want a better chance than the girls I seem to be attracting. The last two girls I attracted seem very hot and then very cold, not knowing whether they are coming and going, bearing in mind I was the same the whole time. Sorry I'm rambling, I just want to take control and change things, but not sure how to at the moment Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Tell friends & family that you are open to being fixed up. You never know who knows somebody who may be a good match. Shake up your routine. Get coffee somewhere new. Go to a different food store to shop. Check out a different local pub. Keep looking for some group to join. They have to be out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author quidproquo89 Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 Tell friends & family that you are open to being fixed up. You never know who knows somebody who may be a good match. Shake up your routine. Get coffee somewhere new. Go to a different food store to shop. Check out a different local pub. Keep looking for some group to join. They have to be out there. Thanks that's good advice. I'll try to get out to the bigger towns more. You can always chat to those working in shops/cafes. Confidence building. I will try and find nice pubs. I make a point of seeing my two mate here still and I work obviously, hopefully if I'm optimistic it may work. I didn't mention that our family hasn't settled here and my dad works away, and I had some issues of missing home which means I don't really fit in at my home town. All aspects that haven't helped. We have been on the market for two years and no sale yet. So things are a little unsure there also Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts