Almost ready to delete my Online dating profile but

[Firebabe]

This online dating thing has been nothing but disappointment and frustrating. Same faces, no locals. I live in a small town.Crawling with married men pretending to be single, (maybe that's why I don't ever want to get married) What is stopping me is this idea of perhaps I will find my ideal there. And if I do close my account, being in a small town how will I meet men I don't go to the bars.This is just a rant and my first post, be gentle thanks!

[D.Mc.]

Hi, I know how frustrating it can be in OLD & I've only been doing it for 4 months. I don't go to bars/clubs either. You have to keep your options open. Are you actually going on dates w/men from the site? That's promising. Maybe just don't sign in for a week or more, take a rest. It is supposed to be a way to broaden your dating pool if you have limited options IRL, so don't give up.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Have you thought about expanding your search outside of your town? My town had very limited prospects as well. I expanded to an hour and a half outside my area. Met an amazing man and am very happy. I was on for about 8 months when we met, and he'd only just signed up the day before.

[Sweetnothing]

I decided to take a break and disabled my profile. There's nothing stopping me from going back later and the frustration was making me crazy. Online dating made me feel like there's no one out there for me which is totally irrational since not everyone has a dating profile! I just remember that if I come back to it in a few months there will be some new people and in the meantime I'm picking up hours at work, going to the gym, seeing friends, reading books, etc.

 

When I find myself frustrated with what seems to be a drought in dateable men, I ask myself what's the rush? It can be SO frustrating and seem hopeless, but try to be optimistic! You might know everyone in your town, but a guy who's perfect for you could move there, or maybe the man of your dreams is currently dating someone totally wrong for him and they'll break up and then the next week you'll meet him in the grocery store or something!

 

I think online dating gives an illusion that there's a finite number of options for dating, but have hope

[InnocentMan]

I decided to take a break and disabled my profile. There's nothing stopping me from going back later and the frustration was making me crazy. Online dating made me feel like there's no one out there for me which is totally irrational since not everyone has a dating profile! I just remember that if I come back to it in a few months there will be some new people and in the meantime I'm picking up hours at work, going to the gym, seeing friends, reading books, etc.

 

When I find myself frustrated with what seems to be a drought in dateable men, I ask myself what's the rush? It can be SO frustrating and seem hopeless, but try to be optimistic! You might know everyone in your town, but a guy who's perfect for you could move there, or maybe the man of your dreams is currently dating someone totally wrong for him and they'll break up and then the next week you'll meet him in the grocery store or something!

 

I think online dating gives an illusion that there's a finite number of options for dating, but have hope

 

That's a well thought out post. People are starting to treat dating like it's as easy as making an online purchase, and act all butt-hurt when they don't meet someone amazing after a few weeks. It doesn't work like that in real life, so why should online be any different, when you have much less to go on. (most profiles should be taken with a large pinch of salt).

 

I can't think of a more un-romantic way to meet someone, than on a dating site. What a great story to tell the grandkids. It should be a last resort for the desperate, not a first option. Live your life, and **** will happen. Hide away from the world on a computer and you're asking for frustration. People used to get together just fine, long before we were blessed with the internets.

[Firebabe]

Hi, I know how frustrating it can be in OLD & I've only been doing it for 4 months. I don't go to bars/clubs either. You have to keep your options open. Are you actually going on dates w/men from the site? That's promising. Maybe just don't sign in for a week or more, take a rest. It is supposed to be a way to broaden your dating pool if you have limited options IRL, so don't give up.

 

Yes I have met several men, some tried to get me to sleep with them right of the bat, a couple didn't look like their picture, don't get me wrong, not shallow but when you are attracted to the pictures and they appear different IRL its a shocker and disappointment. I have been leaving it for 3-4 days without checking or surfing same ole faces even few hours from my town lol. Thank you for your advice,

[Firebabe]

Have you thought about expanding your search outside of your town? My town had very limited prospects as well. I expanded to an hour and a half outside my area. Met an amazing man and am very happy. I was on for about 8 months when we met, and he'd only just signed up the day before.

 

I have, tops 2 hours away , I get a lot of, "its too far to date" ect.

I hope I get lucky like you

[Firebabe]

That's a well thought out post. People are starting to treat dating like it's as easy as making an online purchase, and act all butt-hurt when they don't meet someone amazing after a few weeks. It doesn't work like that in real life, so why should online be any different, when you have much less to go on. (most profiles should be taken with a large pinch of salt).

 

I can't think of a more un-romantic way to meet someone, than on a dating site. What a great story to tell the grandkids. It should be a last resort for the desperate, not a first option. Live your life, and **** will happen. Hide away from the world on a computer and you're asking for frustration. People used to get together just fine, long before we were blessed with the internets.

 

I am not desperate lol just lonely ,

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I have, tops 2 hours away , I get a lot of, "its too far to date" ect.

I hope I get lucky like you

 

It helps to take breaks from it. I would take at least 2 weeks off (disabling or hiding my profile) when I started to get frustrated. It's difficult trying to find someone you really connect with, and many will seem so great in profile and messages and then fall completely flat in person. I went on 14 dates before I found him. I joked with my friends, "15th one's the charm!" Turned out to be true. On or offline, I hope you find him. Just keep all options open, message those that interest you. Don't wait on them.

[Thegreatestthing]

Just leave it up and search outside your town,these sites have many millions of people on them actively looking for someone you are much more likely to find someone there than anywhere else in your town for sure.

You can write in your profile what youre really looking for and you can write that no married men are to contact you.

[InnocentMan]

I am not desperate lol just lonely ,

 

 

I didn't mean you personally, I was generalising.

[Firebabe]

It helps to take breaks from it. I would take at least 2 weeks off (disabling or hiding my profile) when I started to get frustrated. It's difficult trying to find someone you really connect with, and many will seem so great in profile and messages and then fall completely flat in person. I went on 14 dates before I found him. I joked with my friends, "15th one's the charm!" Turned out to be true. On or offline, I hope you find him. Just keep all options open, message those that interest you. Don't wait on them.

 

Nice! funny u somehow knew it was him, Thank u

[Firebabe]

Just leave it up and search outside your town,these sites have many millions of people on them actively looking for someone you are much more likely to find someone there than anywhere else in your town for sure.

You can write in your profile what youre really looking for and you can write that no married men are to contact you.

 

Yes I am going to rewrite it possibly if I decide to leave it up. Thanks!

 

I wish I knew how to get a bunch of quotes in one reply ugh sorry

[Firebabe]

I didn't mean you personally, I was generalising.

 

Ok just wanted to make that clear

[melell]

I am not too familiar with online dating. Tried it once, but I live in a big city, so it seemed more like the was an endless supply of men and it was difficult to negotiate it all.

 

It might be helpful to treat it the same as you would any other place you would meet someone? Like another poster said you may meet your ideal there, you may meet them at a restaurant, supermarket, work and what not.

If i causes distress then stepping back from it is logical, you can always revisit it in future.

 

The best approach imo is not expecting too much, but being open to possibilities.

[thecrucible]

Just keep all options open, message those that interest you. Don't wait on them.

 

 

I agree with this. Especially on the point of messaging. You have to be able to grab bull by horns and face rejection if it doesn't work out. I think a lot of guys get jaded by online dating rejections so start to message fewer people and spend less time on the site.