I was the rebound. She's back with her ex....

[UT_longhorn]

So dated a girl for 6 months. I ignored the red flags...(just got out of relationship, she pushed the relationship really fast, I could feel she was closed off a little emotionally). Well We broke up a few weeks ago...and she told me she's back with her ex. I'm officially the rebound. I've had some chance to think and there is absolutely no way I want her back.

 

But what I wonder is...when people go back to their exes after rebounding....how healthy is that relationship. How can her ex boyfriend be ok with the fact that she jumped into another man's bed right after they finished. I'm sure in the beginning things will be great. But what about the old issues they've never addressed and caused the break up in the first place.

 

I know it's none of my business at this point, but I'm just curious if anyone has been in this situation and reconciling with the ex has led to a healthy relationship after? Or are these relationships doomed for failure.

[todreaminblue]

I feel it depends on how amicable the break up was, how honest the break up was and how respectful the break up was......if it was none of these things then its almost surely to eb dead in the water unless everything is discussed what went wrong and the whole truth is told.....revisiting ....doesnt mean change.......deb

[SCJACK]

So dated a girl for 6 months. I ignored the red flags...(just got out of relationship, she pushed the relationship really fast, I could feel she was closed off a little emotionally). Well We broke up a few weeks ago...and she told me she's back with her ex. I'm officially the rebound. I've had some chance to think and there is absolutely no way I want her back.

 

But what I wonder is...when people go back to their exes after rebounding....how healthy is that relationship. How can her ex boyfriend be ok with the fact that she jumped into another man's bed right after they finished. I'm sure in the beginning things will be great. But what about the old issues they've never addressed and caused the break up in the first place.

 

I know it's none of my business at this point, but I'm just curious if anyone has been in this situation and reconciling with the ex has led to a healthy relationship after? Or are these relationships doomed for failure.

 

They are usually doomed for failure. I felt like a rebound with mine too (lasted 2 months and I didn't do anything wrong) she had alot of baggage with her ex too and gave him more than she gave me even though he treated her like crap and I gave her everything I had to offer. She clearly didn't care for your feelings as she basically used you to get over her ex and dumped you leaving you heart broken.

 

Btw cool that you go to UT, I go to UH...

[UT_longhorn]

Yea....I guess im still angry. I just wish their relationship a demise. She was so selfish and her true colors started to show. I know I just need to look forward and not back.

 

They both went into new relationships before getting back together. When they got back together....they had to break two hearts in the process. They deserve each other.

[anemptycup]

i'm curious - after how many dates did you guys jump into bed?

 

you deserve to be angry - but what do you expect when you're sleeping with someone fresh out of a relationship?

 

again - i feel with you - i don't think you are too blame as much as she is - i think re-bounding is wrong for this exact reason and more - it hurts everyone involved... causes pain to the ex - to the reboundee - and to the person doing the re-bounding... and yes, they'll probably break-up in a month or so.. who knows.. and she might come back to you for attention - but know it will be just for that... attention and "love"

 

honestly - i find it shocking just how many people feel re-bounding is acceptable and understandable - to me it shows how messed up our society really is...

 

people do Yoga, eat healthy act all spiritual and then jump into bed with someone just to fill a hole inside of them....

 

pretty damn selfish and hurtful...

 

i'm being biased here because when my Ex and I broke up after 3 years - she jumped into bed with another guy a week later - someone she had only been talking to for 2 weeks online...

 

it hurts a lot - and made our break-up 10 times worse for me..

 

and god knows how many other guys she's been with too in teh last 3 months...

 

people will argue that she's just lost and in need of affection...

 

i think it's selfish thoughtless and hurtful and shows no maturity or self discipline..

 

i heard from my ex a few days ago and she's telling me the break-up is still hard for her... even after all the dates and fun and sleeping around...

 

there's a lot of LOST people out there.. and they're just spreading hurt and pain by what they're doing..

 

anyway - i feel like people are losing their senses... letting their genitals or loneliness guide them through their "love" life...

 

i am sorry for your pain - it sucks.. but, yes, next time you meet someone fresh out of a relationship... might be worth thinking about things more...

 

good luck.

[elseaacych]

The relationship is most likely doomed to failure. Here's why. Rebounders are trying to fill an emotional void from the past relationship by getting into a new committed relationship. Unfortunately, they don't take the time to learn whatever "lesson" needs to be learned from the breakup about how to be better in future relationships, and why that particular relationship didn't work out. The fact that they're back together after both being in other relationships, without some single chill time means they don't get why they broke up in the first place. And problems will surface.

 

Chin up, Longhorn. This is a blessing for you. You've now got access to better options. Hook 'em, Horn.

[UT_longhorn]

i'm curious - after how many dates did you guys jump into bed?

 

you deserve to be angry - but what do you expect when you're sleeping with someone fresh out of a relationship?

 

again - i feel with you - i don't think you are too blame as much as she is - i think re-bounding is wrong for this exact reason and more - it hurts everyone involved... causes pain to the ex - to the reboundee - and to the person doing the re-bounding... and yes, they'll probably break-up in a month or so.. who knows.. and she might come back to you for attention - but know it will be just for that... attention and "love"

 

honestly - i find it shocking just how many people feel re-bounding is acceptable and understandable - to me it shows how messed up our society really is...

 

people do Yoga, eat healthy act all spiritual and then jump into bed with someone just to fill a hole inside of them....

 

pretty damn selfish and hurtful...

 

i'm being biased here because when my Ex and I broke up after 3 years - she jumped into bed with another guy a week later - someone she had only been talking to for 2 weeks online...

 

it hurts a lot - and made our break-up 10 times worse for me..

 

and god knows how many other guys she's been with too in teh last 3 months...

 

people will argue that she's just lost and in need of affection...

 

i think it's selfish thoughtless and hurtful and shows no maturity or self discipline..

 

i heard from my ex a few days ago and she's telling me the break-up is still hard for her... even after all the dates and fun and sleeping around...

 

there's a lot of LOST people out there.. and they're just spreading hurt and pain by what they're doing..

 

anyway - i feel like people are losing their senses... letting their genitals or loneliness guide them through their "love" life...

 

i am sorry for your pain - it sucks.. but, yes, next time you meet someone fresh out of a relationship... might be worth thinking about things more...

 

good luck.

 

 

 

well...she messed around with me the very first night we met. (again...i should have seen....RED FLAG). I think this was like 2 weeks after she was broken up. We were long distance...so we didnt see each other for another month...and when she came down...we slept together on the first date. I'm 36 and she's 32....so I assumed...we're both mature adults here. And she had told me she wasn't all that experienced with other guys...like I was her 5th maybe? So I just chalked it up to that "I was smooth".

 

things went fast after...calling daily..visits every 3 week. She even met my parents. I always had a small bit of doubt in the back of my head...and I guess I should have listened.

 

Her ex was constantly contacting her..and even showing up to her place. She would tell me..but she didnt tell me about him coming over to her house new years eve for several hours until I noticed an email from her ex when I was playing with her tablet. I confronted her...she made up some crazed story that I FREAKING FELL FOR!!!! I'm an idiot too...but I guess that's why they say love is blind!!

 

She's absolutely no good for me I know...but I keep thinking that there's good in her. Someone slap me up!!

 

anemptycup....are you in contact with her? Why are you doing that to yourself? Makes it harder to get over it!!

[anemptycup]

well...she messed around with me the very first night we met. (again...i should have seen....RED FLAG). I think this was like 2 weeks after she was broken up. We were long distance...so we didnt see each other for another month...and when she came down...we slept together on the first date. I'm 36 and she's 32....so I assumed...we're both mature adults here. And she had told me she wasn't all that experienced with other guys...like I was her 5th maybe? So I just chalked it up to that "I was smooth".

 

things went fast after...calling daily..visits every 3 week. She even met my parents. I always had a small bit of doubt in the back of my head...and I guess I should have listened.

 

Her ex was constantly contacting her..and even showing up to her place. She would tell me..but she didnt tell me about him coming over to her house new years eve for several hours until I noticed an email from her ex when I was playing with her tablet. I confronted her...she made up some crazed story that I FREAKING FELL FOR!!!! I'm an idiot too...but I guess that's why they say love is blind!!

 

She's absolutely no good for me I know...but I keep thinking that there's good in her. Someone slap me up!!

 

anemptycup....are you in contact with her? Why are you doing that to yourself? Makes it harder to get over it!!

 

 

hey man - uuugh - this story just hurts to read - sounds exactly like how my ex would behave... straight into another man's life to fill that void - seems like mental illness to me... people not being able to face the extreme hurt and pain and instead acting so irresponsibly and selfishly... it's hard for me to feel any sympathy for that... like i said - it could have easily have been my Ex with you... except no, i have not been in touch - i actually had 7 weeks of NC (super hard) and i broke it over the weekend to wish her a happy birthday and she told me she's still finding it hard - but, i wrapped it up and ended it - even though i could tell she needed and wanted to talk..

 

yes, i want her back.. but, part of me feels disgusted that she's jumped into other guys' arms so quickly...

 

i'm sure my ex jumped in the sac on day 1 with this guy too...

 

it's just immature on both people's parts... and i hate to be rough with you - but, nature is balance! you got laid quickly.. and it ended...

 

they say, what goes up quickly comes down just as fast... but, the best things in life take time... just like a slow spit roast vs some nasty fast food.

 

and to answer your question - after this past weekend - i'm back to NC - yes, i want her back - but, i have no choice but to wait... i have a feeling her rebound has failed.. because she seems down.. but, when we broke up - boy she seemed happy and strong - back when she had he rebound...

 

crazy crazy loco people.