Standing On My Own Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 My Story: Me and boyfriend have been living together common law for nine years. We have a wonderful three year old daughter together that we tried for four years to conceive. Everything was great... Or so I thought.... Early February I came home from work for lunch and he was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. Tells me that he has been unhappy for sometime and he needs to take sometime to himself to "think about where to go from here." with some prodding from me he admits that there is someone else he has feelings for. Admits to me that it's his best friend's wife (who also happens to be one of my very good friends). He leaves the family home for 5 days and comes back to tell me that he loves me, but he's not in love with me. So now I'm living in my parents basement sharing a bed with my 3 year old while he is in our family home and his new 'girlfriend' is in my home every single day... I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, one minute I'm sad then I'm angry. I'm hurt by what he did and disgusted by her actions. I feel like I'm living in limbo right now - waiting to settle custody and separation issues. Urggh... Vent over. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I feel for you. I know exactly what you are going through because I went through it as well. I'm assuming there is a reason for why you chose to leave instead of kicking his behind out. If you haven't already, find the no contact guide on here and read it. I know how hard it is to do NC with a child involved but for your sanity, it's what you will need to do. Please... keep coming back here to vent. It DOES help. It's been my lifeline through my story as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Standing On My Own Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Thanks for the response. I have been practicing NC and have only been communicating with him about our daughter. However, it is hard because we live in a small town and I have to drive past our home every day to get to work (which is how I know the girlfriend is at my house all of the time!) My decision to leave was probably a hasty one. I was in shock when he told me he was leaving and I did not want to be alone in the home. I didn't think that I would be able to cover all of the expenses of maintaining the home and was very overwhelmed by the upkeep (we still have tons of snow!) Now, in hindsight, I think that maybe I should have stayed in the home so he wouldn't have so much control over the situation... But what's done is done, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I know what you mean. I stayed and forced him to leave and now I'm shouldering all of the bills and work on my own. So, yeah, I get it. Personally, I think you might be better off leaving and getting your own place anyway. It will be yours and only yours. I'm surrounded by memories of him here and it's driving me insane. I can't wait to move out of here and start fresh again. Are you able to save some money and get your own place so you don't have to stay in your parent's basement? Link to post Share on other sites
EmptyinNV Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Yuck, I feel for you. First and foremost, be grateful you have the kiddo in your bed every night. I know it's difficult and painful but seriously, you got the best part of the relationship next to you. I'm not the best at advice, but remember that. I hope you get to feeling better soon, don't give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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