Is it normal or okay for close friends of opposite gender to kiss on the lips?

[Phantom888]

My fiancee has a close friend (a man) whom she has known since college. He has known her family for years, and is considered like a brother. Their kids have known each other since birth. Their marriages ended around the same time, and his ex-wife lives across the street from us. There was never any romantic thing between them, as they have a lot of mutual friends who would know if they did.

 

My fiancee says he's from Texas where people are really friendly, and he kisses his friends on the lips.... kinda like mmmmuaaah, when he greets them. Not a make-out kiss... more like how your grandma would kiss you. I'm not really accustomed to kissing female friends on the lips, though I know some people who do.

 

It's not a big deal, but I don't know if it would look weird if he kisses my fiancee at the wedding when they greet each other. Because I'm Asian, and my family is very traditional, I don't know how they would react. Is it normal for men to kiss close friends and siblings on the lips?

[Stay]

It's not weird for people who do it all the time, I see parents doing that to their kids also but personally to me it is a bit weird. I haven't been exposed to many people who do that though. Mostly it's cheeks and not lips.

[pteromom]

It's not weird for people who do that, however, it is OK for you to ask your fiance to talk to her friend and ask him not to do that in front of your family, because they might be shocked by it.

 

If they are close enough friends to kiss each other hello, they are certainly close enough friends to have a conversation about it.

[Phantom888]

I think my fiancee is gonna take the initiative because she is always on the ball. When she hugged my mom for the 1st time, she sensed that hugging is really not built into our family's culture. I think if people are aware enough, they tend to not show so much affection in front of other cultures that they are unfamiliar with. I think everything should be okay.

[TXGuy]

I'm in Texas. We are friendly here, but I've never seen mouth (lips) kisses as a greeting. Cheek kisses is not that unusual, though. Of course those are either M/W or W/W, but never M/M.

 

But, I suppose I only have been in a few of the Texas cities and have only seen a small fraction of the entire Texas population.

 

That is not to say there is anything wrong with what they are doing. It just is not a Texas thing.

[somedude81]

I've never heard of any culture where opposite gender people who are not family kiss each other on the lips.

 

Frankly the only other woman I have kissed on the lips as a greeting, who was not a girl I was dating, was my grandmother. Aside from her, only women I'm dating get kissed on the lips.

[Phantom888]

But truly there is a distinction between the way you kiss a woman you date versus a relative. There was a teacher in my 3rd grade class who used to kiss all her students on the lips. To me it's not a big deal. I'm wondering if this is a cultural thing or an individual thing.

[d0nnivain]

It is done. I'm not a huge fan but if it has been going on for a long time & is the way they have always been AND you're sure it's platonic, I'd urge you to pick your battles.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm in Texas. We are friendly here, but I've never seen mouth (lips) kisses as a greeting. Cheek kisses is not that unusual, though. Of course those are either M/W or W/W, but never M/M.

 

But, I suppose I only have been in a few of the Texas cities and have only seen a small fraction of the entire Texas population.

 

That is not to say there is anything wrong with what they are doing. It just is not a Texas thing.

 

 

I guess there are no Eye-Talians in Texas.. .....We cheek kiss (M/M-relatives and close friends)...its a cultural thing...nothing queer about it...

 

TFY

[Grumpybutfun]

The only people I know who do this are Ukranian. They kiss their mothers, fathers, close family friends, brothers, sisters, pretty much everyone they love on the lips. I have fought a couple of these guys in MMAs match ups and thankfully they don't love me so I am safe.

I have Texans as friends, and though they are like other southerners, rather friendly, I never saw the kiss on the lips even with M/F friends.

If they kiss my wife, they will be taken aside as I find that to be inappropriate boundary crossing. My wife would be the same with me kissing my female friends on the lips. No use in allowing a gateway for romantic feelings or territorial issues to breed. Definitely time for a conversation with your fiancé.

Not a friendship kisser,

Grumps

[mammasita]

This post reminds me of the SNL skit where the family tongue kisses eachother. EW.

 

In any case, I think its just a matter of culture WRT to how people greet eachother.

 

I've seen parents kiss their kids on the lips....Personally it creeps me out, and I only kiss my son on the cheek and let him kiss my cheek....but again, depends on culture and environment I suppose.

[bubbaganoosh]

The only people I know who do this are Ukranian. They kiss their mothers, fathers, close family friends, brothers, sisters, pretty much everyone they love on the lips. I have fought a couple of these guys in MMAs match ups and thankfully they don't love me so I am safe.

I have Texans as friends, and though they are like other southerners, rather friendly, I never saw the kiss on the lips even with M/F friends.

If they kiss my wife, they will be taken aside as I find that to be inappropriate boundary crossing. My wife would be the same with me kissing my female friends on the lips. No use in allowing a gateway for romantic feelings or territorial issues to breed. Definitely time for a conversation with your fiancé.

Not a friendship kisser,

Grumps

 

Russians do that too. Come from a family of them.

[MissBee]

My fiancee has a close friend (a man) whom she has known since college. He has known her family for years, and is considered like a brother. Their kids have known each other since birth. Their marriages ended around the same time, and his ex-wife lives across the street from us. There was never any romantic thing between them, as they have a lot of mutual friends who would know if they did.

 

My fiancee says he's from Texas where people are really friendly, and he kisses his friends on the lips.... kinda like mmmmuaaah, when he greets them. Not a make-out kiss... more like how your grandma would kiss you. I'm not really accustomed to kissing female friends on the lips, though I know some people who do.

 

It's not a big deal, but I don't know if it would look weird if he kisses my fiancee at the wedding when they greet each other. Because I'm Asian, and my family is very traditional, I don't know how they would react. Is it normal for men to kiss close friends and siblings on the lips?

 

 

The question about if its normal doesn't really matter does it? If it is uncomfortable and abnormal to you, ask your fiance to tell him that come the wedding day he should kiss her on the cheek as your parents aren't accustomed to that and it may be offensive. That should solve the problem.

 

I don't personally kiss male (or female) friends on the lips. I actually don't kiss anyone on the lips besides a SO, but I know for others this is the norm. So asking if it is normal will give a range of answers. Point is, YOU feel uncomfortable with it, so you should address it with your fiance casually, as even if we all say it's normal it won't change how you or your family feel, which is what I gather matters at the end of the day with the whole issue.

[Better]

My sister married into a large family in South Carolina and her in-laws family definitely do the kiss on the lips at greeting. I'd never seen it before and it threw me for a bit. The first time I met her mother-in-law, she came in for a hug and kissed me on the lips. I was in a total state of shock when it happened but I got used to it over time since it's normal to them even though it is strange to me. I think that's the important piece. If it's normal to *them* it's probably OK and something the OP needs to get used to.