Married woman spending too much time with (mostly) single friends

[irc333]

There's this one woman in Meetup (very attractive), keep in mind, most the people in our social meetup group consist single people...with a few dating couples here and there.

 

There's this one woman, she's married, that hangs with our group, goes to a lot of our night time events, either at a bar, karaoke night, bonfire event, etc.

 

The kicker, she has never brought her husband along....I mean as far as I can remember.

 

She says her husband works nights, so perhaps that explains it....I guess, but she's been kinda getting flirty with the single men lately (even seen her give a guy a peck on the lips). If I were married, that simply would not be my scene, esp. with a bunch of single men the bunch.

 

Some may say, "Well, some people spend time apart", but ALL the time?

 

I know most married people kind of stick around at home waiting on their spouse or something. Just something I thought married people do. But he's plays gigs at night (Musician) so I guess he'd be home late, but not necessarily at sun up either.

 

Anyone concur that this is a bit strange?

[Omei]

Why is it your concern? Her life

[ASG]

I have many married friends that don't live attached at the hip.

 

They just leave their SO's at home, or go out when theyre at work or whatever. Have independent lives and also spend time together.

 

Some people might not go anywhere without their H/W, but that is not a universal rule.

[irc333]

I have many married friends that don't live attached at the hip.

 

They just leave their SO's at home, or go out when theyre at work or whatever. Have independent lives and also spend time together.

 

Some people might not go anywhere without their H/W, but that is not a universal rule.

 

Yeah , just not used to seeing that, I am used to seeing couples attached at the hip. I know a dept manager that hired his girlfriend. LOL

[MidwestUSA]

Who is defining 'too much time'? Has this woman actually stated 'I'm spending too much time out without my husband'? Or has her husband stated such?

 

Because they are the only two people who can determine how much is 'too much'.

[ASG]

Yeah , just not used to seeing that, I am used to seeing couples attached at the hip. I know a dept manager that hired his girlfriend. LOL

 

Yes, that will happen. But the opposite will happen as well and is just as normal.

 

 

I have a friend who almost never goes out with friends with his wife. She usually prefers to stay at home but doesn't object to him going out. So he does!

[irc333]

Who is defining 'too much time'? Has this woman actually stated 'I'm spending too much time out without my husband'? Or has her husband stated such?

 

Because they are the only two people who can determine how much is 'too much'.

 

 

 

I dunno, it's not often I see a married person doing social events without the other.

 

But I sometimes wonder if this is a sign that marriages are kind of on the down slide. Makes one wonder if they are "Happily" married.

[Grumpybutfun]

Kissing single men on the lips? Uh, no. Not appropriate, and as far as spending time apart, that's fine of course, but not kissing or flirting, irc.

G

[ASG]

I dunno, it's not often I see a married person doing social events without the other.

 

But I sometimes wonder if this is a sign that marriages are kind of on the down slide. Makes one wonder if they are "Happily" married.

 

I can tell you that a lot of my married friends spend time apart and they are happily married.

 

One couple has a kid, so they can't both go out most weekends. They take it in turns. One weekend she goes out with her friends, another he'll go out. Sometimes they'll have a babysitter or the kid will be away so they both go out.

 

And this involves late nights.

 

Another example... Not long ago, I was back home visiting and hosted a big pre birthday dinner. My step cousin was swamped with work and had to study for exams. He couldn't make it. His wife did though, while he stayed home.

My mom and step dad do the same all the time as well...

 

Spending time apart is no indicator of happiness within a marriage.

Edited March 28, 2014 by ASG

[irc333]

Kissing single men on the lips? Uh, no. Not appropriate, and as far as spending time apart, that's fine of course, but not kissing or flirting, irc.

G

 

Yeah, if it weren't for this fact, I could buy the fact she's happily married

[MidwestUSA]

"I know most married people kind of stick around at home waiting on their spouse or something. Just something I thought married people do."

 

I don't think your observation (or thoughts on the matter) is particularly representative of a majority. There are all types of arrangements and understandings out there. I know, Ward and June would be appalled!

[pteromom]

Every couple is different, and the important thing is that they are on the same page, not that you approve of what they do.

 

Could be that her husband is perfectly fine with her going out. Could be he even likes that she kisses other guys on the lips, and he gets off to her stories about flirting and kissing guys. You never know what is happening on the inside of a relationship.

[Grumpybutfun]

Every couple is different, and the important thing is that they are on the same page, not that you approve of what they do.

 

Could be that her husband is perfectly fine with her going out. Could be he even likes that she kisses other guys on the lips, and he gets off to her stories about flirting and kissing guys. You never know what is happening on the inside of a relationship.

 

 

Good point, her husband could be a cuckhold who enjoys being belittled by her sexual experiences. I remember a guy in the Navy who would try to get other guys to screw his wife while he watched from the closet...hey, it takes all kinds to make the world go around, I suppose. He said he had a stressful job where he was always in charge so he wanted her to be in control and found it arousing to be cuckholded.

My wife said the wife enjoyed it very much so...we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Otherwise they seemed content with one another.

G

[irc333]

Good point, her husband could be a cuckhold who enjoys being belittled by her sexual experiences. I remember a guy in the Navy who would try to get other guys to screw his wife while he watched from the closet...hey, it takes all kinds to make the world go around, I suppose. He said he had a stressful job where he was always in charge so he wanted her to be in control and found it arousing to be cuckholded.

My wife said the wife enjoyed it very much so...we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Otherwise they seemed content with one another.

G

 

Hey, I guess if some people feel to make a joke of their marriage, then that's their prerogative...I suppose...*shrug*

[LittleTiger]

What other people do, or don't do, in their relationships is none of your business!

 

I'm engaged to a guy who I only see for six months of the year. I belong to a Meet Up group and I socialise with mostly single people all the time - some he's met, some he hasn't. He socialises with both men and women when we're apart too - some I know, some I don't.

 

When we're physically together we usually do stuff together - but not always. We're very happy.

 

The fact that you're concerned enough about this woman's social life to post about it here, says far more about you than it does her!

[irc333]

Yeah, but during those 6 months, do you find yourself kissing your male friends?

 

What other people do, or don't do, in their relationships is none of your business!

 

I'm engaged to a guy who I only see for six months of the year. I belong to a Meet Up group and I socialise with mostly single people all the time - some he's met, some he hasn't. He socialises with both men and women when we're apart too - some I know, some I don't.

 

When we're physically together we usually do stuff together - but not always. We're very happy.

 

The fact that you're concerned enough about this woman's social life to post about it here, says far more about you than it does her!

[LittleTiger]

Yeah, but during those 6 months, do you find yourself kissing your male friends?

 

A peck on the cheek, yes, if they are close friends - and hugs too!

 

Unless she is trying to stick her tongue down your throat, how is what she does any of your business?!

[irc333]

A peck on the cheek, yes, if they are close friends - and hugs too!

 

Unless she is trying to stick her tongue down your throat, how is what she does any of your business?!

 

So it only becomes my business if she IS sticking her tongue down his throat? LOL

 

 

Actually, to re-clarify, it was a kiss on the lips. She also tends to flirt a lot with the single men of the group. I find it quite off putting to disrespect someone's husband in such a fashion.

[MidwestUSA]

So it only becomes my business if she IS sticking her tongue down his throat?

 

 

No, that's not your business either. Bottom line, you have no idea what's going on behind the scenes of anyone's marriage/relationship. But you seem intent on inserting yourself into the business of others based on what you observe.

[LittleTiger]

So it only becomes my business if she IS sticking her tongue down his throat? LOL

 

Actually, to re-clarify, it was a kiss on the lips. She also tends to flirt a lot with the single men of the group. I find it quite off putting to disrespect someone's husband in such a fashion.

 

It becomes your business only if she is coming on to you personally - what she does with other people is not your business.

 

Again, I don't get what your problem is. People do lots of things that I find 'off-putting' - getting drunk, or smoking, for a start! Unless it's illegal or I know that it's causing harm to other people or animals, so what?

 

If you really think it's your business and it bothers you that much, perhaps you could approach her and ask her what she's doing. Or better still, pay her husband a visit and tell him all about her behaviour! You'll soon find out if it's your business or not!

[ASG]

So it only becomes my business if she IS sticking her tongue down his throat? LOL

 

 

Actually, to re-clarify, it was a kiss on the lips. She also tends to flirt a lot with the single men of the group. I find it quite off putting to disrespect someone's husband in such a fashion.

 

You are not the husband. It is none of your business. As far as you know, they might even have an open relationship.

[thecrucible]

Why does it even cross your mind? Best to not get involved and leave people to their own relationships.

[MissBee]

There's this one woman in Meetup (very attractive), keep in mind, most the people in our social meetup group consist single people...with a few dating couples here and there.

 

There's this one woman, she's married, that hangs with our group, goes to a lot of our night time events, either at a bar, karaoke night, bonfire event, etc.

 

The kicker, she has never brought her husband along....I mean as far as I can remember.

 

She says her husband works nights, so perhaps that explains it....I guess, but she's been kinda getting flirty with the single men lately (even seen her give a guy a peck on the lips). If I were married, that simply would not be my scene, esp. with a bunch of single men the bunch.

 

Some may say, "Well, some people spend time apart", but ALL the time?

 

I know most married people kind of stick around at home waiting on their spouse or something. Just something I thought married people do. But he's plays gigs at night (Musician) so I guess he'd be home late, but not necessarily at sun up either.

 

Anyone concur that this is a bit strange?

 

Curious about why you're so interested in the state of her marriage? I find this odd. I'm not saying that I never wonder about people's behaviors but not enough to post on Loveshack. If some married woman wants to do all that that's her business, why would I need LS's opinion on her behavior, why is it such a concern to you?

 

As others have said: you don't know if she and her husband have an open relationship or what so as long as it works for them that's what matters, and if it bothers you terribly you could take her aside and ask her what's going on.

Edited March 30, 2014 by MissBee

[Omei]

Its kinda his thing to make posts about other people and place judgment on em I noticed.

 

Most people cant be bothered in life unless it effects them directly.

[preraph]

If her husband is a gigging musician, he's very likely cheating. And I am saying that from a position of knowledge, having in the past worked around many musicians.

 

This could be something she does because she's lonely or to keep him on his toes, you know. There certainly are married women who go out alone and hang with friends and don't cheat and some that do cheat. I have a friend who hangs out when she has a chance (kids) and he can't say a thing because he goes to strip bars.

 

I was in a paranormal group where there was a married guy there nearly always without the wife and then a married woman joined and never brought her husband. It was obvious those two were having an affair. Then on an overnight trip with the group, she did bring her husband and the married lover made a scene and got temporarily kicked out of the group.

 

I never get why married people stay married if they want to cheat. It's unnecessary. But I do know married women who go out but don't cheat. They may be tempted, of course.