Has anyone ever had the email/phonecall/text we all secretly want?

[BC1980]

I had an ex find me on Facebook 10 years later and ask for sex. This was a few months ago. He claimed he was in a sexless marriage, and his wife said he could get sex outside of the marriage. The last time I laid eyes on him was 2004.

[Ordinaryday]

I had an ex find me on Facebook 10 years later and ask for sex. This was a few months ago. He claimed he was in a sexless marriage, and his wife said he could get sex outside of the marriage. The last time I laid eyes on him was 2004.

 

wow... that is just charming. I always used to help an ex out financially (I wasnt pleased about it) and about six months after she dumped me she contacted me asking if I could give her some money.

 

I sent her back a message explaining that my obligations to her, and to help her financially, ended the moment she dumped me. she sent me an abusive text back. it was fun.

[Newtothis2014]

Ha, I'll probably never get the phone call/text. My ex is too stubborn. Once her mind is made up, it's made up.

 

You'd be surprised. My ex is the most stubborn MF-er you could imagine and he text me last month asking if we'd ever speak again. Having someone important out of your life is a real shock to the system and time can make that feeling stronger for some.

[erklat]

I for one always reached out after prolonged periods of time:

 

• when I was 18 I dumped this girl, reached out after 8 months IIRC for a short lived reconciliation.
  
• At 21 I dumped this other chick who I chased for more than 3 years, then we were together for 3 years.
  I got GIGS and another one lined up.
  Treated her very bad after the breakup.
  I reached out 26 months later.
  I would reconcile with her if given a chance.
  
• At 24 I amicably broke up with the girl I had lined up above, she was my rebound for three years.
  I reached out six months later.
  I would never reconcile with her. No passion.
  
• After that when I was emotionally still unstable, I got infatuated with this one chick who declined me in the end.
  We got into argument, and into NC four months.
  She reached out 4 months later for an ego stroke.
  We texted for couple of months, I basically was in a friendzone, but I didn't give a damn anymore.
  NC for three months approximately. Met her in a bar.
  It ended with three missed calls and seven texts about meeting with her that day. She's blocked everywhere now.
  

 

So, reconciliations don't happen for lack of interest from dumpee in the end more than any other reason.

[melell]

I had an ex find me on Facebook 10 years later and ask for sex. This was a few months ago. He claimed he was in a sexless marriage, and his wife said he could get sex outside of the marriage. The last time I laid eyes on him was 2004.

 

That is crazed!

[carl777]

I had it and took her back. Worst decision I've made in my life.

[barky2]

Lol plenty of times.

 

Better off ignoring.

 

Fact.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[BC1980]

That is crazed!

 

It's the weirdest thing with an ex I've ever experienced. Of course, when I didn't agree to the sex, he vanished. I guess he went looking for another person in Facebook.

[martaldn]

I had an ex bf message telling me he was missing me, this was a while ago.. i have replied he was just drunk talk.

we broke up almost 8 years ago and he is now in a stable relationship.

then his current gf added me on facebook because -apparently - was a bit jealous of me ( without reasons )

 

I think i had what I wanted, with bonus, but I didnt longer care.

[Me. Myself and I]

With my recent ex. No. I haven't, I've had the let's be friends... Stupidly I accepted. It was awful. Ultimately I asked for another go he told me he's done with us and that he doesn't want a relationship with me EVER (his words) so I don't expect to get the text/call. (Of course I secretly admit I'd like him to say "I've made a mistake, I want to try again") I don't see it happening.

[KaliLove]

Had it with a past ex, he said "You were right, I loved you very much and I was stupid, I wish you'd let me make it up to you now". I told him to eff off. He was horrible to me..cheating, lying, disappearing for days at a time, and worse for 5 years.

[Lost-Soul]

Had it, responded, he broke my heart again!

 

He actually wept, begged me back and said that the biggest regret in his life is letting me go, and then the moment he had me hooked, he went back to the OW he left me for in the first place. So yeah, don't fall for it... They cry to manipulate us.

[elseaacych]

I've never had it. I want it and I don't want it.

 

I want it because I want the ego boost. I want to know that I am "still worthy" of being loved by my ex. I want to know that my love for him was recognized, and that yes, indeed I was "the best thing that you ever had/the best thing that happened to you/the love of your life," Because I felt the same way about you, ex!

 

I don't want it because if I am in a moment of weakness (and I usually am, because I will always have a soft spot for him), I might make the dumb move to take him back. Because TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL, EVEN COLD HARD REASON AND LOGIC. Also, I don't want to have to turn him down. I don't want to inflict the hurt on him that he did to me (Although a little part of me secretly does want to do that.) I also don't want it because I want him to have moved on too. Yes, think of me fondly. But it's your screw up. Own it.

 

So yeah. Don't want it. All it does is cause confusion on your part.

[thecrucible]

Yeah I had this kind of thing from my ex.

 

First he contacts me asking me how I am and if I have time to catch up. We hang out and he tries to weasel his way into bed with me. I say no and that it's a waste of my time.

 

He then apologises and says he wants to get back together. I say that I don't like the sound of it given his past behaviour but I'll hear him out. We meet up and he tries to get back into bed with me again. He says "oh you can date other people but do you want to have sex every so often and not put a label on it?". I say no and he says "Well let's just be friends". Well duh, that's what I was trying the whole time.

 

So he has sent me texts for the past 3 months and I haven't replied to any of them. I've just lost all respect for him because he apologises for being jerk then does it anyway. So he has no substance whatsoever.

[Hoosfoos]

Be careful what you wish for.

[crederer]

I'd always be VERY hesitant about immediately taking them back because the number one question I would have would be : "what's stopping them from dumping me again and breaking my heart again?"

 

and unless they could somehow provide me with evidence that that would never happen (I dont see how that is even possible, but anyway...) I would be very reluctant and suspicious.

 

I agree with this. I did in fact get that text. I treated her very well, she broke up with me for seemingly no reason and didn't give me any real reason either when I asked for one.

 

We got together, talked a bit. Told her I needed some time to think about it and never contacted her again. I went through a range of emotions, but anger was the most prominent one after the attempted reconcile by her. Which made me come to the conclusion that no, she doesn't deserve me back. I gave her everything I had and apparently that wasn't good enough the first time around so why would it be different the second time?

 

I mean it's different if one person had substance abuse issues or various other issues that tarnished the relationship that have been resolved, but that wasn't the case with us. So I decided I couldn't do it.

 

With the ex before her (at least the most recent long term ex), she cheated on me. I tried to work it out but was stewing over it for months and finally just decided I can't be with her (we were together 5 years, first serious girlfriend, lived together). So I dunno if you could consider me the dumpee or the dumper in that situation. I felt like the dumper. When I left she was literally on her knees begging me to stay, stood behind my truck screaming for me to stay while the neighbours watched. It was pretty messed up. Anyway we've stayed in contact for the most part. I made it clear we will never be together again. We still have sex sometimes during periods where we're both single. I love her as a person, she had a really messed up childhood and I know that because of her childhood she feels sexual activity is the only form of "love" or approval to an extent. But I had to get out of the relationship for myself. She's told me no matter what, whether she is in a relationship with someone or not, all I have to do is tell her and she'd drop everything to be with me again. I believe that. I think of times we shared and miss her a heck of a lot. But then I spend a few hours with her and it becomes apparent pretty quickly why we broke up in the first place.

Edited March 27, 2014 by crederer

[singme2sleep]

Never got a text/email/phone call etc. She disappeared from the face of the earth lol

 

Same here. Makes you feel great, right? Their silence just screams the truth. Smh

[LadyM]

An ex did try to come back a couple years ago. He sent me the most beautifully worded emails trying to woo me back, basically professing how wonderful I am and what a louse he had been. Really nice ego-boost. We met up once, but I felt nothing for him.

 

I think the only reason I met up with him was to try to ease, in whatever way possible, the pain I was feeling from the most current break-up. But it didn't help.

[Wings Of Love]

Closest I ever got to that was my first ex reappearing in my life after 18 months apart, spent close to three months trying to convince me he had made a mistake and that he still loved me, only for him to leave after he finally got what he wanted from me. You can all guess what I mean by that.

 

My recent ex left in July. He actually said to me that even if he did realise he'd made a mistake, he would never tell me. He's the type that will never, ever admit to being wrong. I don't hold out any hope of a reconciliation with him.