Young single women, who want to date, don't exist

[somedude81]

If they do, they must live in some mystical holy land, because I'm not meeting any young women under 30 who are single and want to date.

 

The vast majority of young women I've ever been interested in (at least cute, not obese) have been in relationships when I knew them. These are girls who brought up a boyfriend in conversation and not as a way to turn me down. I have zero reason to believe that a girl is lying about a boyfriend when she talked about something they did together over the weekend etc.

 

The only girlfriend I've ever had, was in a relationship when I met her. Eventually she broke up with him, and started dating me a month later.

 

I have met and been friends with girls who were single, yet they had no interest in dating at the time because they wanted to focus on school or for whatever reason. They shot me down, and who knows how many other guys.

 

It's almost as if that when a girl no longer wishes to be single, she will instantly find a boyfriend.

 

Right now, it seems that the only way to get a girl who wants to be in a relationship, is to steal her from her boyfriend. That's basically how I got my first GF, is that what I'm going to have to do to get my second?

Edited March 27, 2014 by somedude81

[InnocentMan]

There's an equal amount of males and females. The anomaly arises with the quality. There's way more quality men than woman, hence the quality women have the pick of the bunch. This is why a quality woman is rarely single, but lots of quality men are.

 

For men not of a certain quality, the game is almost impossible. Most have to settle for an obese or poor quality woman. The non-quality men who have success, are the ones who realised this at an early age, and done something about it to make themselves unique.

 

You haven't done this. Either settle for someone of a similar quality, or make yourself unique.

[somedude81]

There's an equal amount of males and females. The anomaly arises with the quality. There's way more quality men than woman, hence the quality women have the pick of the bunch. This is why a quality woman is rarely single, but lots of quality men are.

 

For men not of a certain quality, the game is almost impossible. Most have to settle for an obese or poor quality woman. The non-quality men who have success, are the ones who realised this at an early age, and done something about it to make themselves unique.

 

You haven't done this. Either settle for someone of a similar quality, or make yourself unique.

I wonder what percentage of young women, are not considered "quality?"

 

It does seem that a very large number of decent guys are competing for a very small number of decent girls.

 

Though I also know girls who are obese who have boyfriends.

[pickflicker]

Are you online dating? Maybe throw that into the mix.

[MissBee]

I wonder what percentage of young women, are not considered "quality?"

 

It does seem that a very large number of decent guys are competing for a very small number of decent girls.

 

Though I also know girls who are obese who have boyfriends.

 

 

What does someone being "obese" have to do with quality? I think your idea of quality and what you look for may be very narrow and may be influencing what you're finding. As quality in my mind implies actual character, personality traits and what this person has to offer, so I guess I don't see what obese has to do with anything really....unless quality in your mind is any woman not obese???

 

What do you look for in a woman that would deem her of good quality besides cute and not obese?

[somedude81]

Are you online dating? Maybe throw that into the mix.

I've tried, but I'm also at a huge disadvantage online. Onlilne dating is essentially a man catalog.

 

Simply, I'm a more attractive prospect in person.

[organizedchaos]

 

What does someone being "obese" have to do with quality? I think your idea of quality and what you look for may be very narrow and may be influencing what you're finding. As quality in my mind implies actual character, personality traits and what this person has to offer, so I guess I don't see what obese has to do with anything really....unless quality in your mind is any woman not obese???

 

What do you look for in a woman that would deem her of good quality besides cute and not obese?

 

Well said. To follow up on this:

 

Somedude81 - define what a quality woman means to you

 

And then define what you have to offer that good quality woman

 

I'm using this to gauge what kind of woman you think you should be attracting as you are very likely shooting out of your league.

[somedude81]

 

What does someone being "obese" have to do with quality? I think your idea of quality and what you look for may be very narrow and may be influencing what you're finding. As quality in my mind implies actual character, personality traits and what this person has to offer, so I guess I don't see what obese has to do with anything really....unless quality in your mind is any woman not obese???

 

What do you look for in a woman that would deem her of good quality besides cute and not obese?

Looks are #1 for both men and women.

 

If one is not attracted to another person, it doesn't matter if they have 1,000 amazing qualities.

 

I'm simply not attracted to obese women. They don't meet my bare minimum standards.

[kodakgirl]

Why do people keep posting this statement? I genuinely want to know. What are you wanting to get out of it? Every time there are a bunch of responses, from men AND women, saying no, this isn't true, backing it up with examples of themselves or others. But the posters don't want to hear this-- they don't want reassurance or hope. And I genuinely don't know what they do want. I know you can't answer for every man who posts but what are YOU specifically wanting to get from this? Do you actually want advice and reassurance, or do you just want to hear other bitter men agreeing with you? If the latter, how do you think that would help?

[topaMAXX]

There's an equal amount of males and females. The anomaly arises with the quality. There's way more quality men than woman, hence the quality women have the pick of the bunch. This is why a quality woman is rarely single, but lots of quality men are.

 

For men not of a certain quality, the game is almost impossible. Most have to settle for an obese or poor quality woman. The non-quality men who have success, are the ones who realised this at an early age, and done something about it to make themselves unique.

 

You haven't done this. Either settle for someone of a similar quality, or make yourself unique.

 

Exactly what I was going to say.

 

The US has a glut of good looking, good guys with good careers. It also has an overabundance of trashy immature women with entitlement complexes.

 

This is why many quality guys are not considered quality. Most women have poor judgment as to what is quality and what isn't.

 

The few quality women that actually do exist know that they are at an advantage and will have tons of quality guys chasing them. Naturally, they exploit this advantage.

[Keenly]

Dude, you haven't even been single for that long and you are already incredibly frustrated and it shows... tremendously.

 

You are going to have to learn to be happy alone. Your mental health will be better for it, and you will be a much more attractive prospect when you a comfortable in yourself

[lollipopspot]

The US has a glut of good looking, good guys with good careers. It also has an overabundance of trashy immature women with entitlement complexes.

 

This is why many quality guys are not considered quality. Most women have poor judgment as to what is quality and what isn't.

 

Guys who feel as you do that there are lots of good looking, quality guys, and not many quality women might do themselves a favor and consider opening themselves up to the idea of being with other guys.

[topaMAXX]

Guys who feel as you do that there are lots of good looking, quality guys, and not many quality women might do themselves a favor and consider opening themselves up to the idea of being with other guys.

 

You'd love that, wouldn't you?

[InnocentMan]

Guys who feel as you do that there are lots of good looking, quality guys, and not many quality women might do themselves a favor and consider opening themselves up to the idea of being with other guys.

 

It's not all about looks. It's about a million little things. Taking care of yourself, having goals in life, eating properly, not being completely neurotic, etc. Men just generally have their **** together more than woman. I'm not saying that looks aren't important, because 90% of women without make-up look like Frankensteins bride.

 

The lack of quality, available women in the world, doesn't suddenly make a man turn gay. It just pisses him off, until he gives up and marries a horror show.

[pickflicker]

I've tried, but I'm also at a huge disadvantage online. Onlilne dating is essentially a man catalog.

 

Simply, I'm a more attractive prospect in person.

 

I think if you want a girlfriend as badly you say you do, you need to throw OLD into the mix.

[organizedchaos]

I've tried, but I'm also at a huge disadvantage online. Onlilne dating is essentially a man catalog.

 

Simply, I'm a more attractive prospect in person.

 

But that doesn't seem to be working in your favor either. So why not use OLD as a supplemental tool?

[pickflicker]

I think we've also talked about the issue of being 30+ and attempting to court young girls at uni. No matter how wrong the mindset (and of course it is), many of those girls going think you're too old.

[Imajerk17]

I have NEVER seen a guy who says that "women have all the power", who is good with women. Show me a guy who says that "women have all the power" and I will show you someone who doesn't do well with women.

[preraph]

There are so many women wanting to date. If someone is having no success finding someone who wants to date them, it's usually because they are trying to date out of their league. Young beautiful successful women can date young beautiful successful men, so why would they go out with older men of average looks and accomplishments? It's a sad fact that it mostly comes down to how someone looks. Women may be a bit more forgiving on looks, but it's still got to be the number 1 thing, physical attraction for both sexes. Certainly a really exceptional personality and a lot of confidence can make a person more attractive, but those people are rare.

 

I'm afraid television misleads a lot of guys into thinking they're going to be able to get a woman with a good body because women with good (fake) bodies are mostly all you see on television, and they will pair them with men that those women wouldn't be the least bit interested in in real life. Just think of most any sitcom and you'll see goofy old guys paired with perfect-bodied women. It gives people a false view of reality. Truth is very few of those women exist outside of media, and they aren't dating average Joes.

 

I'm someone who usually was attracted to guys more attractive than myself, but instead of stamping my foot about it, I prepared myself to be alone more than most, and I have been. I am what I am. I just accept that and I'm not bitter about it. I'd rather not have sex than have it with someone I'm not physically attracted to. There are some who do because they want a companion bad enough for that and I guess are more people-oriented, but everyone is different.

 

Everyone is most interesting to those who share their interests, so the best pool is the pool with whom you share interests.

[somedude81]

Why do people keep posting this statement? I genuinely want to know. What are you wanting to get out of it? Every time there are a bunch of responses, from men AND women, saying no, this isn't true, backing it up with examples of themselves or others. But the posters don't want to hear this-- they don't want reassurance or hope. And I genuinely don't know what they do want. I know you can't answer for every man who posts but what are YOU specifically wanting to get from this? Do you actually want advice and reassurance, or do you just want to hear other bitter men agreeing with you? If the latter, how do you think that would help?

The main reason why I posted this thread, is to express my frustration on how difficult it is for me to meet women that I can date. From my point of view, available women simply don't exist. I'm going to two dance classes where women greatly outnumber men, and over and over again I'm only meeting girls that are taken, or don't want to date.

 

As I said, the only girlfriend I've ever had, was basically taken from her boyfriend. She broke up with him because she liked me.

 

Is that what I have to do from now on? Meet girls who are unhappy in their relationship and find a way to get them to leave their boyfriends?

 

I really hope there's a better way.

[somedude81]

Dude, you haven't even been single for that long and you are already incredibly frustrated and it shows... tremendously.

 

You are going to have to learn to be happy alone. Your mental health will be better for it, and you will be a much more attractive prospect when you a comfortable in yourself

I'm 32 years old, got my first girlfriend at 31, and we were only together for six months.

 

Looking at it that way, do you see how long I've been single?

 

Lets say that I didn't want to start dating until 17, so I've been single from 17 to 31. That means I've been single for 14 years. I've had a girlfriend just long enough to really understand what I was missing.

[organizedchaos]

The main reason why I posted this thread, is to express my frustration on how difficult it is for me to meet women that I can date. From my point of view, available women simply don't exist. I'm going to two dance classes where women greatly outnumber men, and over and over again I'm only meeting girls that are taken, or don't want to date.

 

As I said, the only girlfriend I've ever had, was basically taken from her boyfriend. She broke up with him because she liked me.

 

Is that what I have to do from now on? Meet girls who are unhappy in their relationship and find a way to get them to leave their boyfriends?

 

I really hope there's a better way.

 

There is. Change or lower your standards. Women who don't want to date you are not interested, in you. Women who tell you they have a boyfriend either really do, or are not interested in dating you.

 

"Stealing" someone from another relationship is a recipe for disaster. As you well know.

[hasaquestion]

The main reason why I posted this thread, is to express my frustration on how difficult it is for me to meet women that I can date. From my point of view, available women simply don't exist. I'm going to two dance classes where women greatly outnumber men, and over and over again I'm only meeting girls that are taken, or don't want to date.

 

As I said, the only girlfriend I've ever had, was basically taken from her boyfriend. She broke up with him because she liked me.

 

Is that what I have to do from now on? Meet girls who are unhappy in their relationship and find a way to get them to leave their boyfriends?

 

I really hope there's a better way.

 

OP do you ever go to night spots with girls?

 

Just wondering because you should know by know that "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm seeing someone" often just means leave me alone.

 

That's why girls bring you along to bars. So when the weirdo with the baggy shirt won't stop talking to her she can put her arm around you and say "this is my boyfriend".

[somedude81]

I think if you want a girlfriend as badly you say you do, you need to throw OLD into the mix.

 

But that doesn't seem to be working in your favor either. So why not use OLD as a supplemental tool?

I am using OLD to supplement. I've had a profile on OKC for years.

 

I've never been messaged by a woman. I've never had a woman reply to a message I sent.

 

Until I get my career going next year, OLD will most likely be a dead end.

 

For now I want to use the methods that some chance of success. For now, meeting women in school is at least fun for me, whether I get a GF or not, so I'll continue doing it.

[somedude81]

I think we've also talked about the issue of being 30+ and attempting to court young girls at uni. No matter how wrong the mindset (and of course it is), many of those girls going think you're too old.

My age isn't relevant yet, when I can't even meet girls that are single, or who want to date. There is nobody to court, no matter how old I am.

 

Also, at one point of time, I used to be under 25 and I was going for age appropriate girls. Do you think I had better luck then than I do now?

 

Frankly, the under 25 girls like the 32 year old somedude81 a hell of a lot more than they liked the under 25 somedude81.