Young single women, who want to date, don't exist

[somedude81]

You can't be sure though. You're not in her head. Breakups and lying go hand hand.

Yeah, but she hasn't been the one to clarify why she dumped me. It's been several other people. My mother, my grandmother, a couple of my online female friends and various women on this forum.

 

Heck, I'll just quote this post

 

Somedude, I would NOT recommend making a habit of trying to steal girls who are already in relationships.

 

There's definitely something to be said about the integrity of girls who regularly monkeybar from guy to guy, AND you know from personal experience that a girl usually is gonna need downtime between relationships.

 

 

If you steal another girl, don't be surprised if 6 months down the line it ends because she's just not emotionally available. Because she didn't deal with the ending of the previous relationship.

 

 

It's all around just bad news.

[CrystalCastles]

Somedude, when you say that you are attracted to big boobed, slim women, I hope you're not rigid on that. It would be very strange to make a thread about wanting young single women, and rejecting said young single women because their boobs aren't massive and they don't have Barbie's waist. Very few women out there have Barbie's body. I think you need to relax your list of what you want physically in a woman.

 

My bff is a tiny girl. She's very athletic but her boobs are As. However, if you saw her, your breath would get caught in your throat. She is the most beautiful girl there is. Seriously. I can even PM you a picture if you don't believe me. She's smart, has a high cgpa (she's planning to be a vet), the sweetest girl, and just perfect in every way. Surely you wouldn't pass up a girl like that simply because her body doesn't look like Pamela Anderson's.

 

It's good to have standards but your standards are way over the top ridiculous, and you are seriously harming your chances of finding a girl if all you're looking for are tiny-waisted, huge-boobed women. I don't think it would help you to find a good woman if you have this obsession over microinfinitesimal details like boob size. Those kinds of superficial obsessions are just as annoying as women being obsessed over a man's height.

[pickflicker]

Yeah, but she hasn't been the one to clarify why she dumped me. It's been several other people. My mother, my grandmother, a couple of my online female friends and various women on this forum.

 

Heck, I'll just quote this post

 

And none of them are completely her head either. It's all speculation. Spitballing.

[xxoo]

Then when it happens again, that will also be luck? What about the third time and so on?

 

Yes, it is nothing but luck if a single woman you are attracted to walks into your tiny bubble. How often can you really expect that to happen without stepping out of your comfort zone and networking?

 

It's sort of like expecting a job to fall in your lap. It can happen, but it happens a LOT more to the people who have been actively networking. Fortune favors the bold.

[suladas]

Yeah, but she hasn't been the one to clarify why she dumped me. It's been several other people. My mother, my grandmother, a couple of my online female friends and various women on this forum.

 

Heck, I'll just quote this post

 

The fact that you think ANY of those people can clarify what happened shows you really have NO idea. And even if she did it personally, it would still likely be BS. If you don't think you had any fault in the relationship ending, you're doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

[CrystalCastles]

A quote by Tupac comes to mind:

 

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*** on.”

 

Somedude, you can waste your time getting angry at your ex for dumping you out of the blue, or you can forget about her and live your life happily, and in time, find another girl when the moment is right (when you've learned to be happy by yourself). As I told you before, this ex seems so monumental to you now, but when you're old and wrinkly with your grandsons in your lap and your lovely wife and children by your side, you'll look back at how you were obsessed with some silly girl who didn't know what she wanted way back when, and laugh that you filled your head with her in the first place.

[xxoo]

I know exactly why things didn't work with my ex. It had very little, if anything to do with me.

 

You think it's because of the monkey branching. That may be true.

 

But there are a lot of other reasons a woman would lose interest with a guy at the 6 month mark, especially a guy who doesn't have a whole lot of substance going for him (no friends, no job, struggling to graduate). There is just as much chance that she lost interest for those reasons.

 

Or it could be all the reasons combined, or just some.

 

But one thing is for sure--after a few months, the fun wears off if the substance isn't there to keep things going. Substance = future potential.

[shet]

What are the right circumstances? When are women more open to being hit on?

 

OK. I'm no psychologist so I can only offer my experience and a handful of conclusions. I won't bore you with specific examples, just boil it down.

 

First, pick your environment. You want to make a move somewhere they will be open to it. This probably means no random approaching people going somewhere or libraries where they're studying. People are busy. Don't interrupt people doing stuff. It means, common rooms. Dull lectures and easy practicals. It could be libraries, if instead of head down surrounded by books it's using Facebook/Youtube, chatting with someone or mucking with phone. Don't be ashamed to just camp out in a social area for an afternoon, that's what they're for. You want someone minimally stressed.

 

Second, pick your gal. Outfit. Practical or fancy? Company. Alone? Few friends? Big group? Conversation. Can you already hear which one is lonely, or are they amiably chatting about their pets, or about how drunk they got last weekend and Amy had sex with that guy? Shyly talking to a friend or shouting? This isn't complicated: you are looking for someone you think you'd like, and who you think might like you. Think accordingly. Don't be afraid to approach a small group, in fact TBH I'd be less afraid of that than someone alone - you won't be trying to crack into their little fortress of solitude, they're already in Social Mode. Learn from my experience here, that lonely looking woman on the bench outside or on the student union sofa at 7pm might look approachable but might get such a deer in headlights look that you feel like a rapist and have to bail for your own peace of mind. That doesn't happen in groups. Not that there aren't quiet lonely ones who'd like to talk. Just got to spot the difference, or take the chance. And overhearing conversation can help you out. Because:

 

Third, don't be a stranger. Probably more important than the other bits but hard to define. There are probably guys out there who can rock up, drop a compliment about their shoes, and that's all she wrote, but I don't know them. You aren't being predatory here. Basically, have a reason to engage them, always, that makes them slightly less than a total stranger. You heard they know xxx person. They were in your X class last year. You're both trying to return books to an unstaffed library desk. She accidentally nudged your elbow pouring custard on your toffee sponge at lunch. You're simultaneously in an empty room doing nothing much. You heard they're doing Urban Planning, how's it going, what sort of career advice have they received. Did you understand what the lecturer just said or did he just speak Sumerian.

 

If you can magic that up, don't be weird. You might be weird really, just don't let on. Don't try any clever tricks, any verbal games, don't try to be Mister Cool, don't try to touch her, don't tell her she has nice ears. Just have a conversation. Say something funny. Hope she says something funny. If the situation isn't right for a conversation like it's in class, don't be a tryhard, just say whatever you wanted to, STFU, then ask if she'd like to get lunch when class ends. If you run out of **** to say, make an exit. If you think she'd like to talk more, try fixing something up. If you don't, don't.

 

If it feels forced, it is forced and you'll get nowhere. It should feel natural. People talk to each other. That's how the world works, that's normal. You should feel when it would be a normal thing to do. It's fun, it's positive. It makes us happy. You should not be goal oriented about it nor formulaic about it. Don't even think in terms of "hitting on". I've been "hit on", hard and direct. It's unnerving and uncomfortable. Think about making friends. Remember that if you're friends with them, they might introduce you to *their* friends when you run into her. Somewhere down the line there'll be a single interested lady.

 

Oh and, don't focus on the thin hot ones. There are 5000 other guys just at college doing the same thing many of whom will be hotter, wittier, more exciting than you. Since you aren't goal oriented, what's the harm in chatting up a wider range of womanhood? I really suspect you'll become endeared of more kinds of women than you seem to think if they're warm and funny to you because you're being warm and funny with them. There's such a breadth to people to believe in them, trust them, want to know more about them, beyond looks. And that's a good thing for all of us non models.

[organizedchaos]

I know exactly why things didn't work with my ex. It had very little, if anything to do with me.

 

You are so damn delusional. PleSe post the threads about what she said about you Cheating in school, demanding oral, and the last email she sent you.

[organizedchaos]

Yeah, but she hasn't been the one to clarify why she dumped me. It's been several other people. My mother, my grandmother, a couple of my online female friends and various women on this forum.

 

Heck, I'll just quote this post

 

She told you exactly why she dumped you. You posted the reasons and her last email.

[somedude81]

That's not get back with me vs. dumping me.

 

In fact, one of the reasons why she didn't want to come back, was because I kept asking her why she ended it.

[Copelandsanity]

Somedude, if you don't change your ways, you'll be doomed to a lonely, depressed and unfulfilled life. Needing a girl to motivate you to do well in school or in life is wrong, and I believe that it may your depression that's holding you back.

 

I suggest you read Stephen Ilardi's The Depression Cure. It describes a six-step method for naturally beating depression. The basic gist of it is ingesting fish oil (3 high-quality capsules daily), doing physical exercise (at least 30 minutes daily), getting sunlight/light box exposure (30-60 minutes daily), getting enough sleep (8+ hours daily), practicing anti-rumination (keeping your mind busy with work, interests, hobbies), and having meaningful social interactions (minimum 3 planned events/gatherings a week).

 

I also suggest checking out the blogs and writings of Tim Ferriss and Julien Smith.

[pickflicker]

That's not get back with me vs. dumping me.

 

In fact, one of the reasons why she didn't want to come back, was because I kept asking her why she ended it.

 

Her mind was made up, that behaviour wasn't a clincher. I've used that excuse once myself.

[ZipperZapper]

I disagree. Obese is a quality. In most cases, it suggests laziness, overindulgence, and a lack of self discipline.

To be fair though, I doubt that's the reason SD doesn't like fat chicks lol.

 

OK, what do you tell someone who has Type 2 diabetes, is taking medication, eating properly and exercising but still can't lose the weight?

Tell him he's still lazy and lacks discipline? There are people out there who have diabetes or other metabolic conditions that make losing weight difficult.

 

Rather than throwing out gratuitous statements about people, why not be thankful you don't have a health or weight problem that would interfere with your ability to attract a partner?

[topaMAXX]

OK, what do you tell someone who has Type 2 diabetes, is taking medication, eating properly and exercising but still can't lose the weight?

Tell him he's still lazy and lacks discipline? There are people out there who have diabetes or other metabolic conditions that make losing weight difficult.

 

Rather than throwing out gratuitous statements about people, why not be thankful you don't have a health or weight problem that would interfere with your ability to attract a partner?

 

There are very few disorders that actually cause weight. Type 2 diabetes is usually a result of obesity (poor diet and exercise habits), not the cause of it.

 

Similarly, obesity in hypothyroidism (commonly sited on the interwebz) is way more rare than people think.

 

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is one of the few diseases that actually CAUSES obesity.

[sweetjasmine]

I disagree. Obese is a quality. In most cases, it suggests laziness, overindulgence, and a lack of self discipline.

 

If laziness and lack of self discipline make someone "low quality," why do you give SD a pass on his own self-admitted laziness and lack of self discipline?

[topaMAXX]

If laziness and lack of self discipline make someone "low quality," why do you give SD a pass on his own self-admitted laziness and lack of self discipline?

 

I'm not giving him a pass. Who am I to give him a pass anyway?

 

I simply said that if he wants to go after college girls, then he should do it....and that getting college girls is very possible for a guy his age.

 

Personally, I never valued dating over my career (which is why I have a successful career), but if he wants to, well, it's a free country.

[somedude81]

If it feels forced, it is forced and you'll get nowhere. It should feel natural. People talk to each other. That's how the world works, that's normal.

Thanks for writing so much shet. That must have taken you a while.

 

I think what it all boils down to is the part I quoted. At this point in my life, I'm just not comfortable going up to random girls or groups and trying to start a conversation.

 

It would come off as completely forced and just weird.

 

I need to put myself in more situations where mingling is natural and have plenty of time to do so.

[somedude81]

As for the topic of quality. It seems that many women don't give a damn if the guy is quality or not. Some of the threads on this forum are very eye opening.

[pickflicker]

As for the topic of quality. It seems that many women don't give a damn if the guy is quality or not. Some of the threads on this forum are very eye opening.

 

Those women themselves are not quality.

[somedude81]

Those women themselves are not quality.

Yes I realized that, but I didn't want to say anything.

 

I wonder if I'm trying to pursue the wrong type of woman. There are good looking, low quality women out there. Would they be easier to get? But is that even something I want to deal with?

 

Somehow I need to find the right amount of balance.

[pickflicker]

Yes I realized that, but I didn't want to say anything.

 

I wonder if I'm trying to pursue the wrong type of woman. There are good looking, low quality women out there. Would they be easier to get? But is that even something I want to deal with?

 

Somehow I need to find the right amount of balance.

 

I wrote this on another thread, but I will say it again - would you listen to yourself?

 

You're looking for love for all the wrong reasons - and you're baffled that it's not working?

 

Thousands of posts. So many threads. How is this not sinking in?

[topaMAXX]

Yes I realized that, but I didn't want to say anything.

 

I wonder if I'm trying to pursue the wrong type of woman. There are good looking, low quality women out there. Would they be easier to get? But is that even something I want to deal with?

 

Somehow I need to find the right amount of balance.

 

The most recent posts on this thread reminded me of a particular thread on this forum that I've been responding to (older woman, late 30s, still chasing the hot bad boys).

 

Honestly dude, these types of girls probably wouldn't go for you (or me for that matter) anyway because you don't look like a model.

 

You'd probably have a better chance of going for attractive high quality girls (if you can find them).

[somedude81]

The most recent posts on this thread reminded me of a particular thread on this forum that I've been responding to (older woman, late 30s, still chasing the hot bad boys).

 

Honestly dude, these types of girls probably wouldn't go for you (or me for that matter) anyway because you don't look like a model.

 

You'd probably have a better chance of going for attractive high quality girls (if you can find them).

Really?

 

I'd have a higher chance getting an attractive high quality girl than a low quality girl? Just because I'm not model handsome?

[pickflicker]

Really?

 

I'd have a higher chance getting an attractive high quality girl than a low quality girl? Just because I'm not model handsome?

 

I think he's telling you to shoot for the moon because you're f***ed either way.