Young single women, who want to date, don't exist

[somedude81]

There is. Change or lower your standards. Women who don't want to date you are not interested, in you. Women who tell you they have a boyfriend either really do, or are not interested in dating you.

My standards are not nearly as high as you think they are.

 

As I said, it's basically be at least cute, don't be obese. I talk to all girls I can who meet those criteria and see which ones I can get along with. Unfortunately, almost all the girls that I have a fun conversation with turn out to have boyfriends.

 

"Stealing" someone from another relationship is a recipe for disaster. As you well know.

Yes I definitely know that. That's why I'm very wary about getting close to women who have boyfriends. But I'm just not meeting anybody who is single so I don't know what to do.

[Koopa]

Where are you looking? Because if your looking for a LTR in a bar then you may get laid but unlikely to build something out of it.

Grocery stores are actually a great place to find a good quality woman for many reasons.

You can tell a lot about someone by whats in the cart like if she eats healthy or how many people she is buying food for,

to move the cart she needs to put her hands on the handle giving you a clear view if there is a ring on her finger

And unlike a dark bar, a grocery store is well lit and women usually wear minimal makeup so you can see what they actually look like.

 

As far as approaching her, its actually very easy. Easier than a bar where there is usually an annoying friend or group she is with. Just ask her a question about something on the shelf then go from there, keep in mind this needs to be done quickly after you first see her and do not follow her around that's creepy. Don't put a 30 pack of cheap beer with a bunch of junk food in your cart either, go with wine or craft beer and healthy foods. She will look at what you got in your cart too.

[somedude81]

Where are you looking? Because if your looking for a LTR in a bar then you may get laid but unlikely to build something out of it.

Grocery stores are actually a great place to find a good quality woman for many reasons.

You can tell a lot about someone by whats in the cart like if she eats healthy or how many people she is buying food for,

to move the cart she needs to put her hands on the handle giving you a clear view if there is a ring on her finger

And unlike a dark bar, a grocery store is well lit and women usually wear minimal makeup so you can see what they actually look like.

 

As far as approaching her, its actually very easy. Easier than a bar where there is usually an annoying friend or group she is with. Just ask her a question about something on the shelf then go from there, keep in mind this needs to be done quickly after you first see her and do not follow her around that's creepy. Don't put a 30 pack of cheap beer with a bunch of junk food in your cart either, go with wine or craft beer and healthy foods. She will look at what you got in your cart too.

Right now I'm looking for women 100% in my classes in college. Preferably dance classes where I have lots of time and opportunity to talk to girls. Since the class meets twice a week for about 10 weeks, there is lot of time to get to know them.

 

I'm not very good at going up to a stranger and trying to hit on her.

[iris219]

You're talking about a really small sample of women, 2 dance classes.

 

There are single women out and about everywhere. They aren't going to knock on your door, but I guarantee they are out there beyond your dance class. You have to go find them.

[lollipopspot]

My age isn't relevant yet, when I can't even meet girls that are single, or who want to date. There is nobody to court, no matter how old I am.

 

Also, at one point of time, I used to be under 25 and I was going for age appropriate girls. Do you think I had better luck then than I do now?

 

Frankly, the under 25 girls like the 32 year old somedude81 a hell of a lot more than they liked the under 25 somedude81.

 

Can you go see a counselor or a dating coach or someone who would be willing to evaluate your presentation of yourself? We can't see you and talk to you, so it is impossible to do that in this forum. It sounds as though there may be something you are doing that is off-putting, but you aren't aware of it. Serious suggestion.

[somedude81]

You're talking about a really small sample of women, 2 dance classes.

 

There are single women out and about everywhere. They aren't going to knock on your door, but I guarantee they are out there beyond your dance class. You have to go find them.

Where are they?

 

Please tell me of a better place than a class that has roughly 30 women where I have to interact with each one for at least 2 minutes.

 

Is there something better out there?

[iris219]

Most people meet through friends or while doing certain activities they enjoy. Others meet in the workplace or through OLD.

 

There's a whole world out there! It's silly to restrict meeting women to one place.

[Koopa]

Right now I'm looking for women 100% in my classes in college. Preferably dance classes where I have lots of time and opportunity to talk to girls. Since the class meets twice a week for about 10 weeks, there is lot of time to get to know them.

 

I'm not very good at going up to a stranger and trying to hit on her.

 

Are you taking these classes because you want to meet a woman or because you just want to dance? Because if your just there to meet a woman then I guarantee you they know and probably think your a creep (you might as well take a yoga class and set your mat up in the back of the room every time), and if its because you just wan't to dance well.... do I need to say it? The only acceptable way a man can take a dance class is if he is taking the class with his girl.

[organizedchaos]

Most people meet through friends or while doing certain activities they enjoy. Others meet in the workplace or through OLD.

 

There's a whole world out there! It's silly to restrict meeting women to one place.

 

Exactly, through friends or through work is a great way to meet someone.

 

Somedude, have you tried joining groups through Meetup.com?

 

Also, if you go through every single day with the point of trying to meet your next gf, you're going to get frustrated as evidenced by this thread. I get the picture in my head of you as a dog going up and sniffing every single person it comes across - "this one?" "this one?" "this one?"

 

Just let it happen naturally. Don't try to FORCE it. I don't make it a point to approach a woman EVERY SINGLE DAY. When I see an opportunity, I take it. I don't force it. If an opportunity doesn't come up today, tomorrow, or this week, so be it. I got other things going on in my life to occupy my time. And so should you.

Edited March 27, 2014 by organizedchaos

[lollipopspot]

do I need to say it? The only acceptable way a man can take a dance class is if he is taking the class with his girl.

 

No, unfair. Some guys really enjoy dancing and want to get better at it. That's fine.

[Haydn]

People on fire dance better than me.

[KungFuJoe]

SD,

 

I'm going to assume that, outside of your school, you never get out of the house.

 

We live in the same geographical area (socal) and there's no shortage of young, single, attractive, available women. When I was dating, there was plenty of them. Even now that I'm older and married, I still know quite a few.

 

If you can't find one around where we live, man...I don't even know what to say. I could step outside and walk a couple blocks and probably bump into 3 or 4.

[clia]

The main reason why I posted this thread, is to express my frustration on how difficult it is for me to meet women that I can date. From my point of view, available women simply don't exist. I'm going to two dance classes where women greatly outnumber men, and over and over again I'm only meeting girls that are taken, or don't want to date.

 

As I said, the only girlfriend I've ever had, was basically taken from her boyfriend. She broke up with him because she liked me.

 

Is that what I have to do from now on? Meet girls who are unhappy in their relationship and find a way to get them to leave their boyfriends?

 

I really hope there's a better way.

 

There are many better ways which have been suggested to you ad nauseum over the past several years. Yet, for whatever reasons, you seem to intentionally sabotage yourself by limiting yourself to one way of meeting women, and write off any other suggestions. Why is that? Don't you think it might be fun to try something else?

 

Here are some better ways:

 

1. Meetup. I have no idea why you refuse to try this. Everyone who goes to these events is there to meet and talk to new people, which takes most of the awkwardness out of it. I've had a blast at every single Meetup event I've gone to, and I met my fiance at a Meetup event.

 

2. Other social or sport groups in your area. In Chicago we have the Chicago Sport and Social Club. There are also tons and tons of sports and social clubs other than that one. I'm sure there are similar groups where you are if you look.

 

3. Tinder and online dating. You said previously you had bad pictures up. Put up some good pictures, rewrite your profile, and try again. Broaden your desired age range at least up to your own age.

 

4. Speed Dating.

 

5. It's Just Lunch or Table for Eight.

 

6. Going out to bars, restaurants, or clubs.

 

7. Look for fun events going on at other places in your city. For example, in Chicago the Art Institute puts on an "After Dark" event around once a month. They bring in food, a DJ, and everybody mingles. It's a lot of fun.

 

8. Concerts and other music events.

 

9. Toastmasters.

 

10. Political Party events.

 

11. Go to a nearby coffee shop every day at the same time. Get a cup of coffee and read the paper for half an hour.

 

That's off the top of my head. You need to get out there if you want to meet someone. There are tons and tons of single girls out there, but most of them are places where you are not.

Edited March 27, 2014 by clia

[somedude81]

Are you taking these classes because you want to meet a woman or because you just want to dance? Because if your just there to meet a woman then I guarantee you they know and probably think your a creep (you might as well take a yoga class and set your mat up in the back of the room every time), and if its because you just wan't to dance well.... do I need to say it?

Both.

 

I want to meet women. And it's hella fun. I'm also one of the best dancers in the class I go to. The girls are always giving me compliments on how good I lead and that I'm easy to dance with and so on, but that's probably because the other guys just suck.

 

The only acceptable way a man can take a dance class is if he is taking the class with his girl.

That's a load of horse crap.

 

Frankly, nobody in the class takes it with their GF or BF. I wish that the girls in the class took it with their boyfriends, so I can see which girls are single. That would make things much easier for me.

 

What's really weird is how many girls that love to dance, are dating guys who hate dancing. That's so stupid!

[xxoo]

Where are they?

 

Please tell me of a better place than a class that has roughly 30 women where I have to interact with each one for at least 2 minutes.

 

Is there something better out there?

 

Most are hanging out with their friends and family a lot of the time. If you make friends, you'll open up a world of women you'd otherwise never meet.

 

It's like a web--you make 3 friends, they introduce you to 2 people, those people introduce you to more people....and among them are single women.

[Koopa]

Learn the dirty dancing lift with one of the girls you like and know is single, kjust be careful not to cause her serious bodily harm in the process. If you can do that move and still fail to get a date with her then she is just not into you.

[somedude81]

Most people meet through friends or while doing certain activities they enjoy. Others meet in the workplace or through OLD.

 

There's a whole world out there! It's silly to restrict meeting women to one place.

It sounds like such a roundabout way of meeting girls.

 

First I have to go out of my way to meet guys and become their friends. Then I have to hope that they know some single girls. Then I have to hope they have some sort of get together that the single girls attend or that somehow I'm introduced to those single girls.

 

I'd rather just skip the middleman.

[KungFuJoe]

It sounds like such a roundabout way of meeting girls.

 

First I have to go out of my way to meet guys and become their friends. Then I have to hope that they know some single girls. Then I have to hope they have some sort of get together that the single girls attend or that somehow I'm introduced to those single girls.

 

I'd rather just skip the middleman.

 

And how's that been working out for you so far?

[somedude81]

And how's that been working out for you so far?

Can you guys stop with that type of answer? If you're going to reply please make it more than some smart ass comment. Thanks.

[xxoo]

It sounds like such a roundabout way of meeting girls.

 

First I have to go out of my way to meet guys and become their friends. Then I have to hope that they know some single girls. Then I have to hope they have some sort of get together that the single girls attend or that somehow I'm introduced to those single girls.

 

I'd rather just skip the middleman.

 

It's normally just what happens in the course of living. But that really is how most people meet their partners. If you eliminate that very normal, common way, you are making things more difficult for yourself. No man is an island.

[KungFuJoe]

Can you guys stop with that type of answer? If you're going to reply please make it more than some smart ass comment. Thanks.

 

It's not a smart ass comment.

 

Look...if living your life a certain way isn't working...why keep doing it?

 

At WHAT point do you say to yourself, "I need to change how I think and how I perceive things"?

 

You keep trying to shove that square peg into the round hole. It ain't going in no matter how hard you try! It's time to put the square peg down and go look for the round peg...even if it means starting over.

[somedude81]

It's normally just what happens in the course of living. But that really is how most people meet their partners. If you eliminate that very normal, common way, you are making things more difficult for yourself. No man is an island.

I don't know why it hasn't worked for me.

 

I had guy friends up until I was 24 or so. Then I switched to making female friends. I've never met anybody through friends. Maybe I just never made the right friends?

 

Right now, it just seems really hard to make guy friends. And I have tried.

 

Even then, whose to say that those people know single girls?

[somedude81]

There are many better ways which have been suggested to you ad nauseum over the past several years. Yet, for whatever reasons, you seem to intentionally sabotage yourself by limiting yourself to one way of meeting women, and write off any other suggestions. Why is that? Don't you think it might be fun to try something else?

 

Here are some better ways:

 

1. Meetup. I have no idea why you refuse to try this. Everyone who goes to these events is there to meet and talk to new people, which takes most of the awkwardness out of it. I've had a blast at every single Meetup event I've gone to, and I met my fiance at a Meetup event.

Which meet up groups are going to the highest amount of single women under 25?

 

If you have any ideas, I'll start going.

 

2. Other social or sport groups in your area. In Chicago we have the Chicago Sport and Social Club. There are also tons and tons of sports and social clubs other than that one. I'm sure there are similar groups where you are if you look.

I don't know what a social club is. How did you find out about it.

 

3. Tinder and online dating. You said previously you had bad pictures up. Put up some good pictures, rewrite your profile, and try again. Broaden your desired age range at least up to your own age.

I tried Tinder for two weeks. I "liked" 99% of the girls in my area. Nobody ever liked me back.

 

I don't have any good pictures of myself..

 

My OLD profile isn't good, and I have no idea how to make it better. Even then, what do I put for my age, income level, height and occupation?

4. Speed Dating.

 

5. It's Just Lunch or Table for Eight.

I've tried speed dating a couple of times. Zero matches.

 

6. Going out to bars, restaurants, or clubs.

Go to a bar or club by myself? What kind of clubs should I go to?

 

I've been to the local salsa club a couple of times, but there was always way too many guys.

7. Look for fun events going on at other places in your city. For example, in Chicago the Art Institute puts on an "After Dark" event around once a month. They bring in food, a DJ, and everybody mingles. It's a lot of fun.

 

8. Concerts and other music events.

I'll look for some events in my areas.

 

I need to work on my mingling skills.

[xxoo]

Even then, whose to say that those people know single girls?

 

Most people know a lot of people.

 

But the purpose is not to meet only single girls. The purpose is to live a lifestyle that allows you to rub elbows with all sorts of people. Make connections. These prove invaluable in dating, job seeking, and general living. Not having those connections puts you at a disadvantage, and can make it seem like dating (or job seeking) is much harder than it really is.

[somedude81]

Most people know a lot of people.

 

But the purpose is not to meet only single girls. The purpose is to live a lifestyle that allows you to rub elbows with all sorts of people. Make connections. These prove invaluable in dating, job seeking, and general living. Not having those connections puts you at a disadvantage, and can make it seem like dating (or job seeking) is much harder than it really is.

So then are you saying I should give up on meeting women, and just try to make friends?

 

BTW, I already made a friend thread.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/381111-how-do-you-actually-get-social-circle

 

I actually had more luck going on dates in college than making a guy friend.

Edited March 28, 2014 by somedude81