Lightglowabove Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Ok, here's the situation and I would like a reality check to see if I'm totally wrong about my opinion. My friend is in the process of starting a divorce. He has three kids. The wife and him have talked about divorce numerous times. She has a mental issue also but he knows this is the right path to move on with his life. He decided a month ago to take the kids to Aruba for spring break. He does not want her to go and the kids definitely do not want her to go. They still live together because no one has moved out and divorce papers are in the drafting stages. But...they do not enjoy each other and cannot last an hour together on the weekend. Should he bring her to Aruba? And how would you tell her no? She has said that she doesn't want to go, but because of her condition, two days later she wants to go. I told him he should not bring her. He is in the process of divorce, and they have talked about divorce every week. The kids do not want her to go and this is a convoluted situation. He would be sending her and the kids the wrong message. Am I right? Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Hell no he shouldn't take her. Just tell her that she can't go. Easy, done. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 You would be right to mind your own business. People do not appreciate meddling even if you mean well. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Okay I read some of your previous posts and you are talking about your MM. TBH, I think he is just pulling the wool over your eyes on this one. He knows his wife is going on vacation with them and is probably not filing for divorce. Have you seen any divorce papers? It doesn't make sense that their children would not want their mommy to go on vacation with them. Does that make sense to you? It sounds like a lie to me. I hope for your sake I'm wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Okay I read some of your previous posts and you are talking about your MM. OP, is this true? If so, then Stillafool is right - you are having the wool pulled over your eyes. I'm willing to bet even money that the wife ends up going to Aruba and you end up being really pissed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Okay I read some of your previous posts and you are talking about your MM. TBH, I think he is just pulling the wool over your eyes on this one. He knows his wife is going on vacation with them and is probably not filing for divorce. Have you seen any divorce papers? It doesn't make sense that their children would not want their mommy to go on vacation with them. Does that make sense to you? It sounds like a lie to me. I hope for your sake I'm wrong. This makes a lot more sense than the OP's version. The wife would have to be a pretty horrible person for the kids not to want to be around her. And I mean really horrible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lightglowabove Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Okay I read some of your previous posts and you are talking about your MM. TBH, I think he is just pulling the wool over your eyes on this one. He knows his wife is going on vacation with them and is probably not filing for divorce. Have you seen any divorce papers? It doesn't make sense that their children would not want their mommy to go on vacation with them. Does that make sense to you? It sounds like a lie to me. I hope for your sake I'm wrong. Yes, sorry, it is my MM. At this point, I don't think that matters because I don't think it's a great idea for him to take her. I have not seen the divorce papers yet. The children are 13, 14 and 18 so they are not young kiddies. And yes, she is horrible to them. She slammed one's head against the door, does nothing with them, and is very mean to them at times. She has threatened to move far away and never see the family again. My point is....why would you take someone on vacation with you who you are in the process of divorcing, tells you they hate your guts, runs out on you every weekend, and would spit on your grave? Would you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lightglowabove Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 This makes a lot more sense than the OP's version. The wife would have to be a pretty horrible person for the kids not to want to be around her. And I mean really horrible. Right There, she is truly horrible. The kids are asking him if they could leave mom home because they would have a much better time without her. See my previous post as to what she does to them. I do believe he will get a divorce and it's not 100 percent that she is going, but I wanted to bounce it off people here if I'm wrong in thinking that NO WAY she should go. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Yes, sorry, it is my MM. At this point, I don't think that matters because I don't think it's a great idea for him to take her. I have not seen the divorce papers yet. The children are 13, 14 and 18 so they are not young kiddies. And yes, she is horrible to them. She slammed one's head against the door, does nothing with them, and is very mean to them at times. She has threatened to move far away and never see the family again. My point is....why would you take someone on vacation with you who you are in the process of divorcing, tells you they hate your guts, runs out on you every weekend, and would spit on your grave? Would you? Do you have proof of this? Or is this what he has told you... Anyway, if he is going on holidays with his wife and family, so be it. Are you sure he is actually divorcing? She is mentally ill, probably has BP/depression and that is not her fault. if she had cancer, nobody would be blaming her..It's the illness that makes her that way. Always remember you're only hearing his side of things or gossip by others. That may not be the 'real truth.' Stay out of it, please don't get involved. If he decides to go on this family vacation that's his business and nobody should be talking him out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Yes, sorry, it is my MM. At this point, I don't think that matters because I don't think it's a great idea for him to take her. I have not seen the divorce papers yet. The children are 13, 14 and 18 so they are not young kiddies. And yes, she is horrible to them. She slammed one's head against the door, does nothing with them, and is very mean to them at times. She has threatened to move far away and never see the family again. My point is....why would you take someone on vacation with you who you are in the process of divorcing, tells you they hate your guts, runs out on you every weekend, and would spit on your grave? Would you? No. No one would and that's why I'm telling you he is not divorcing her. Look, kids can argue with their parents all day long, say mean things but they still love them. I've seen the worse parents get more love from their kids than good parents get from theirs. That is family life. MM is just telling you what he thinks you want to hear. You would be wise to ask for proof or just forget this guy altogether. BTW, is he and his wife sharing a room in Aruba? Do you really think they aren't going to have sex? Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Yes, sorry, it is my MM. At this point, I don't think that matters If it didn't matter, then why would you leave that very important piece of information out? My point is....why would you take someone on vacation with you who you are in the process of divorcing, tells you they hate your guts, runs out on you every weekend, and would spit on your grave? Would you? To answer your "why" question, no, it does not make sense. And the likely reason it doesn't make sense is because you do not have all the information. We can speculate as to what that missing information is, but there is definitely some large pieces of information missing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 If it didn't matter, then why would you leave that very important piece of information out? To answer your "why" question, no, it does not make sense. And the likely reason it doesn't make sense is because you do not have all the information. We can speculate as to what that missing information is, but there is definitely some large pieces of information missing. You have invested interest in this so of course it makes a difference. RT is right, it is important. You created this thread with the guise that 'my friend' was going on holidays with his wife and kids. He isn't just a friend, he's your MM. Not that the replies are any different either way because even if you were just a friend, it's not your place or business to get involved in his decision to go away with his whole family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lightglowabove Posted March 28, 2014 Author Share Posted March 28, 2014 You have invested interest in this so of course it makes a difference. RT is right, it is important. You created this thread with the guise that 'my friend' was going on holidays with his wife and kids. He isn't just a friend, he's your MM. Not that the replies are any different either way because even if you were just a friend, it's not your place or business to get involved in his decision to go away with his whole family. I don't think it makes a difference if he is my MM or my friend (actually, he's both) because I would answer the question the same way. That's not the point. The point is why would you take someone like this? And, HE is the one who asked my opinion. If someone asks my opinion, I'll give it to them. Wouldn't you? If he ends up taking her, that's his business, but I still think it's not a great thing to do in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I don't think it makes a difference if he is my MM or my friend (actually, he's both) because I would answer the question the same way. That's not the point. The point is why would you take someone like this? And, HE is the one who asked my opinion. If someone asks my opinion, I'll give it to them. Wouldn't you? If he ends up taking her, that's his business, but I still think it's not a great thing to do in this situation. Because he still loves her, she is the mother of his 3 children. They are bonded for life and still a family unit. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 He should take the children only. The soon to be ex wife and the soon to be getaclue mistress should have a summit meeting. Open the door to communication. Share the time to help each other. The ex to be can be a wealth of information for inside family dynamics. The mistress will be filling some shoes that have endured a deceitful spouse, she"ll need to know how to accept that role. Besides in a business relations rule, the president and vice president never travel together so that should something happen to the other, one can still sustain a role for the business decision making...... Yes the more i think about it a summit meeting would do such wonders!!keep your calendar open.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The dad Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Sounds like this guy is a real catch. Are you sure you don't deserve better? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lightglowabove Posted March 28, 2014 Author Share Posted March 28, 2014 Sounds like this guy is a real catch. Are you sure you don't deserve better? Why do you say that this guy is a real catch The dad? Do I deserve better? Sigh. Maybe I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 My gf was involved with a married man. He would demonize the wife. Turns out she was sweet, kind and soft-spoken. I hope whatever he's said about the wife is true and that you were witness to the accusations. Link to post Share on other sites
The dad Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I say that because the guy is messing around on his wife, and doesn't care that he's gonna hurt her and his kids. If he can do that to his family, he WILL do it to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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