What am I doing wrong with the ladies?

[Thegrubman]

Please help me here. I seem to appear to most women as a good friend and nothing more. It is either that or no interest in shown at all, I am not sure what is going on with this. I think one of my major downfalls is my honesty..However I am not going to compromise who I am as a person to play a silly game of texting or sacrifice my own personality and be someone I am not to please someone.. Anyone else in the same boat? Am I overthinking it? Am I approaching it wrong? Any advice is appreciated.

[Hello_is_it_me]

Have you asked out girls, been rejected, and then given an explanation why? And if so, what is it?

 

Because "you're too honest" is too vague. Give an example where you being too honest has hurt a potential relationship with a girl.

[Thegrubman]

I think I am just too honest from the get go about how I am as a person? I think I might tell them too much I am not sure? It might be because it is obvious I am interested in them? Even if it is just trying to get to know them I am not sure. I usually have a problem of moving too fast but I have gotten better about this. I usually ask them if they want to go eat or get coffee as a means to get to know them, but usually get turned down. The problem is I cannot see them on a regular basis most of the time. Maybe I need to get out more? Thanks for the reply

[Hello_is_it_me]

So when you say you're too honest with them about how you are as a person... Are you revealing unsavory character traits to them on the first meeting?

 

"Yeah I can be selfish..."

"Bathing? Nah, not really my thing..."

"I know this is gonna sound weird but choking baby kittens gets me hard!"

[Strength in Healing]

Here's what's up, brother.

 

I am gonna tell you like it is.

 

 

 

1). You can go to the gym and get in REALLY good shape. Not as hard as it sounds. Really good looking guys don't usually end up in the friend zone if you know what I mean. So make your body just plain anti-friendzoneable.

 

2). If you find 1 to be too hard, google pickup artist forums. They will teach you how to get a TON of girls. Trust me on this. But it is manipulation in my opinion, so it's questionable if you're ethical..

[Thegrubman]

So when you say you're too honest with them about how you are as a person... Are you revealing unsavory character traits to them on the first meeting?

 

"Yeah I can be selfish..."

"Bathing? Nah, not really my thing..."

"I know this is gonna sound weird but choking baby kittens gets me hard!"

 

Well more of anything I think it might be I am sharing too much of my self too fast? "I had brain cancer." "I am a writer he are my ideas for books." " I love all kinds of music." "What interests do you have? Here are mine.." Am I approaching this wrong?

[Thegrubman]

Here's what's up, brother.

 

I am gonna tell you like it is.

 

 

 

1). You can go to the gym and get in REALLY good shape. Not as hard as it sounds. Really good looking guys don't usually end up in the friend zone if you know what I mean. So make your body just plain anti-friendzoneable.

 

2). If you find 1 to be too hard, google pickup artist forums. They will teach you how to get a TON of girls. Trust me on this. But it is manipulation in my opinion, so it's questionable if you're ethical..

 

You know I have wanted to try to be more appealing in the way I act and talk, but what happens is I either end up joking or getting too deep. Which inevitably gets me friendzoned...

[Hello_is_it_me]

Well more of anything I think it might be I am sharing too much of my self too fast? "I had brain cancer." "I am a writer he are my ideas for books." " I love all kinds of music." "What interests do you have? Here are mine.." Am I approaching this wrong?

 

They all sound like good, normal convo topics when meeting ppl. Not the brain-cancer thing though. Save that one for later.

[Hello_is_it_me]

I don't know much of your situation and there's so many variables to consider here though that it's hard to make a diagnosis.

 

The type of girls you are asking out... the amount of girls you're asking out... have you had a gf before and if so how did that go..? ...do you consider yourself a good flirter?

[Thegrubman]

They all sound like good, normal convo topics when meeting ppl. Not the brain-cancer thing though. Save that one for later.

 

Thanks, maybe I am just giving up too quick..I tend to be cynical about how other people view me so yeah I need to work on that .

[Strength in Healing]

You know I have wanted to try to be more appealing in the way I act and talk, but what happens is I either end up joking or getting too deep. Which inevitably gets me friendzoned...

 

 

Pickup artist forum will help you.

 

I'll tell you something I've done before and it works every time. It's called 5 lie game.

 

What you do is tell the girl something like this. Here's what I did exactly:

 

'Ok let's play a game. If I lose, I'll do one thing that you want -- it can be anything. Now, if I win, you totally have to kiss me. Now, don't go and try losing on purpose just to get a kiss (make sure you say this with confidence -- otherwise don't say it).

 

Here's the objective of the game. I ask you 5 questions, and you answer with a LIE -- never answer truthfully. For example, your name is Riley -- so I ask you what your name is, and you answer with a lie -- say your name is something else. Ready?"

 

 

Then it went down like this

 

 

"What's your name?" (she answers with a lie)

"Where are we right now?" (She lies)

"What kind of car do you drive?" (She lies again)

 

I then reply

 

"Oh wow, you're actually really good at this, jeez. Uh, what number are we on again?"

 

She replies "3"

 

I say "Whoa there, guess what, you lose!"

 

She will undoubtedly laugh, then you go in for a kiss and she will kiss you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's something you should do during a date though, called kino escalation. Touch her here and there, start with simple things like touching her arm when you're joking. Eventually, after building up the kino, you can hold her hand during a "story", then go for the kiss.

[Thegrubman]

I don't know much of your situation and there's so many variables to consider here though that it's hard to make a diagnosis.

 

The type of girls you are asking out... the amount of girls you're asking out... have you had a gf before and if so how did that go..? ...do you consider yourself a good flirter?

 

Never had a girlfriend I got taken out of the game at a pivotable time in my life (15) for 6 years due to the cancer. I think I am a good flirter in the sense of getting girls to laugh? Not necessarily making them think I am a go getter though?

[Thegrubman]

Pickup artist forum will help you.

 

I'll tell you something I've done before and it works every time. It's called 5 lie game.

 

What you do is tell the girl something like this. Here's what I did exactly:

 

'Ok let's play a game. If I lose, I'll do one thing that you want -- it can be anything. Now, if I win, you totally have to kiss me. Now, don't go and try losing on purpose just to get a kiss (make sure you say this with confidence -- otherwise don't say it).

 

Here's the objective of the game. I ask you 5 questions, and you answer with a LIE -- never answer truthfully. For example, your name is Riley -- so I ask you what your name is, and you answer with a lie -- say your name is something else. Ready?"

 

 

Then it went down like this

 

 

"What's your name?" (she answers with a lie)

"Where are we right now?" (She lies)

"What kind of car do you drive?" (She lies again)

 

I then reply

 

"Oh wow, you're actually really good at this, jeez. Uh, what number are we on again?"

 

She replies "3"

 

I say "Whoa there, guess what, you lose!"

 

She will undoubtedly laugh, then you go in for a kiss and she will kiss you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's something you should do during a date though, called kino escalation. Touch her here and there, start with simple things like touching her arm when you're joking. Eventually, after building up the kino, you can hold her hand during a "story", then go for the kiss.

Thank you that is a great idea!

[Strength in Healing]

I recommend the gym first, but I also recommend you look up pickup artist. That can change everything and will change everything. It will teach you the things you are doing very wrong, better than anyone here including me could.

 

It is how you present yourself, and your confidence. Sure, it probably has something to do with what you're talking about, but that's okay, because this will cover it all.

[Thegrubman]

I recommend the gym first, but I also recommend you look up pickup artist. That can change everything and will change everything. It will teach you the things you are doing very wrong, better than anyone here including me could.

 

It is how you present yourself, and your confidence. Sure, it probably has something to do with what you're talking about, but that's okay, because this will cover it all.

 

You are a badass man thank you. I am glad I joined this forum

[Sweetnothing]

Guys get "friendzoned" for being friendly. Guys get dates by flirting.

 

Are girls totally shocked when they find out you like them? That could be your problem. Let them know from the start, not in a creepy way, that you think they're attractive and you see potential.

[Thegrubman]

Guys get "friendzoned" for being friendly. Guys get dates by flirting.

 

Are girls totally shocked when they find out you like them? That could be your problem. Let them know from the start, not in a creepy way, that you think they're attractive and you see potential.

 

Well I think I am pretty friendly but not overly. Also I may just ask them out to get to know them better too quickly, which I think is the root of the rejection.

[Thegrubman]

Poor formula. Better idea. Get more interesting hobbies.

 

What do you suggest? I play guitar, I write, and work out. Maybe I need to expand into different social aspects?

[Strength in Healing]

Poor formula. Better idea. Get more interesting hobbies.

 

 

To each their own. This is true though, too.

[Hello_is_it_me]

What do you suggest? I play guitar, I write, and work out. Maybe I need to expand into different social aspects?

 

These are all things chicks dig. I think your big thing is confidence. And like the poster mentioned before, get your intentions out there before you get thrown into the "safe guy friend" vortex

[Thegrubman]

These are all things chicks dig. I think your big thing is confidence. And like the poster mentioned before, get your intentions out there before you get thrown into the "safe guy friend" vortex

 

Thanks! Yeah I have a pretty destroyed sense of self worth, (6 years of depression will do that), but I am getting better each day. I just need a little kickstart which is what I am getting with yall's advice thank you very much!

[Strength in Healing]

If he's not already in decent shape, getting in shape isn't easy. Pick up stuff usually fails.

 

 

Your negativity undoubtedly has hindered you in many aspects of life.

 

Getting in shape ISN'T that hard. It's quite simple, comes down to only two things: What you eat, and your exercise. I can give a workout here that will get people in dramatically good shape.

 

Pickup stuff fails when you have the perception it will. See, the key really is confidence..

[Strength in Healing]

You aren't straight

 

 

That's an ad hominem, and a weak one at that. Stop making excuses, get your life where it needs to be brother

[Strength in Healing]

You get a life. Your PUA suggestion sucked. That shows your lack of intelligence. You calling me negative was icing on the cake.

 

 

I don't imagine many people would think of you as positive. I mean, read your posts lol..

 

You seek confrontation, and perhaps you should partake in introspection to find out why.

 

If you value intellect, you should realize the ad hominem fallacy you have so obviously exhibited.

 

Hold yourself to a higher standard, man. It's not becoming.

 

 

 

And lol @ your lifting comment. Be real here, dude, you are under 17 years old. That or you have not been blessed intellectually.

[Thegrubman]

Well this is getting interesting