What am I doing wrong with the ladies?

[Strength in Healing]

You are the negative one and are filled with bad suggestions.

 

 

 

 

I've lifted for over 17 years so I cant be under 17, Einstein. Took me a few years before I was strong. Can bench over 300 now and like any good lifter I work out the entire body.

 

 

Feel free to post a pic, and I will too. Let's see which of us know what they're talking about.

[Strength in Healing]

I aint stupid.

 

 

Good choice. Good day

[Hello_is_it_me]

I think the PUA stuff could benefit a newbie or someone that clams up when they talk to girls. It can ease them into interacting and show them there's nothing to be afraid of. Help them get over initial fears and confidence issues. So I see its benefit.

[Koopa]

Just because of your screen name I have to ask, is this grubes? as in the ticket grubes?

[topaMAXX]

Here's what's up, brother.

 

I am gonna tell you like it is.

 

 

 

1). You can go to the gym and get in REALLY good shape. Not as hard as it sounds. Really good looking guys don't usually end up in the friend zone if you know what I mean. So make your body just plain anti-friendzoneable.

 

2). If you find 1 to be too hard, google pickup artist forums. They will teach you how to get a TON of girls. Trust me on this. But it is manipulation in my opinion, so it's questionable if you're ethical..

 

You don't need any of that.

 

OP, if you are getting friendzoned, it is because you lack the edge. Be a little more daring and a little more sexual. Play to win. Don't just play not to lose.

[topaMAXX]

Pickup artist forum will help you.

 

I'll tell you something I've done before and it works every time. It's called 5 lie game.

 

What you do is tell the girl something like this. Here's what I did exactly:

 

'Ok let's play a game. If I lose, I'll do one thing that you want -- it can be anything. Now, if I win, you totally have to kiss me. Now, don't go and try losing on purpose just to get a kiss (make sure you say this with confidence -- otherwise don't say it).

 

Here's the objective of the game. I ask you 5 questions, and you answer with a LIE -- never answer truthfully. For example, your name is Riley -- so I ask you what your name is, and you answer with a lie -- say your name is something else. Ready?"

 

 

Then it went down like this

 

 

"What's your name?" (she answers with a lie)

"Where are we right now?" (She lies)

"What kind of car do you drive?" (She lies again)

 

I then reply

 

"Oh wow, you're actually really good at this, jeez. Uh, what number are we on again?"

 

She replies "3"

 

I say "Whoa there, guess what, you lose!"

 

She will undoubtedly laugh, then you go in for a kiss and she will kiss you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's something you should do during a date though, called kino escalation. Touch her here and there, start with simple things like touching her arm when you're joking. Eventually, after building up the kino, you can hold her hand during a "story", then go for the kiss.

 

Haha this sounds like fun. I'll try it next time I go out.

[Do_The_Herp]

Pickup stuff fails when you have the perception it will. See, the key really is confidence..

 

I'm sure that Pickup stuff could possibly good (the harmless, less manipulative, more imaginative) ideas for people to try in their dating lives.. But if you have the confidence, I say you don't even need "game".. Natural confidence will exude "game"..

 

I think that the whole touching thing is pretty standard. Establishing physical contact of some sort can act as a natural relaxant, apparently. I remember reading about that.. I can imagine it's pretty basic stuff to already be aware of.

 

The lie game sounds like a good idea, but nothing particularly new.

 

When I'm friendly and outgoing, my female peers are actually engaging in conversation, even though they sometimes seem nervous to me. Giggling at the least humorous remarks.. I could easily just ask if they have a boyfriend right there and if they say yes, I shrug my shoulders with a smile and say "well, thanks anyway. talk to ya later!" That's all that the process boils down to. That's all that it takes..

 

That little dance, and enough confidence to do it with a smile on even as you're letting the door hit you "where da lawd split ya.."

[d0nnivain]

Thegrubman

 

 

PUA stuff is game playing. If you have nothing else going on it can be a place to start. I equate to the book The Rules for women. It's pop psychology designed to teach you how to set boundaries & develop some self esteem. Translation: You don't want to see too eager.

 

 

Honesty is good. Oversharing is bad. I am so very sorry you had cancer at a young age. At a time when you should have been worrying about who to take to the prom you were concerned about your white blood cell count. Congrats on overcoming it though. However, unless you are at a cancer survivors group meeting, don't lead with that info. It's great that you discuss your tastes in books& music & your hobbies while asking about hers. Those are good things to share early because they aren't too deep.

 

 

Some success with women will always be grounded in self confidence. When you approach a woman inside yourself are you projecting, I'd like to be your BF (or even something more sexual) or are you projecting I'd basically neutered & you can use me as a doormat?

 

 

Once you meet a woman & can tell from the body language she's into you too, strike while the iron is hot. Ask for her number or a date then. Don't wait 3-4 more encounters before suggesting something lame like "wanna hang out sometime?" I do think I recall you saying you ask for the dinner date which is good.

 

 

When you do flirt be tactile. Touch her arm. Brush an imaginary strand of hair out of her face.

 

 

Happy hunting

[hasaquestion]

It is impossible to stress enough how eye contact, posture, and confidence are.

 

Men and women both love to talk about themselves. You make people happy by enabling them to talk about themselves. Remember that.

 

Conversely, people love to feel that there's more to know about you. Always share as little as is necessary. Don't volunteer good stories, make them earn them one at a time.

 

Empty chatter has no value. Texts should be arrangements, flirting or sarcasm. Don't try to chat over text. Save conversations with substance for when you are face-to-face.

 

Don't be afraid to flirt and to show interest. You look like a b****. She won't bite you. As long as you're actually paying attention (tall order for most men) you can stop if she's uncomfortable.

 

Don't be her friend. If you treat her like a friend, you are a friend. Don't be like most men, do this, and then act surprised.

 

Get to the goddamn point. Whether or not you are a "yes" or a "no" is a conclusion she will have subconsciously reached within 15 minutes of making eye contact with you. She's seen your charsima, your smile, your posture, your body language, the way you talk, the way you interact with others. She's gathered 99% of the information she needs to make a decision.

[Thegrubman]

It is impossible to stress enough how eye contact, posture, and confidence are.

 

Men and women both love to talk about themselves. You make people happy by enabling them to talk about themselves. Remember that.

 

Conversely, people love to feel that there's more to know about you. Always share as little as is necessary. Don't volunteer good stories, make them earn them one at a time.

 

Empty chatter has no value. Texts should be arrangements, flirting or sarcasm. Don't try to chat over text. Save conversations with substance for when you are face-to-face.

 

Don't be afraid to flirt and to show interest. You look like a b****. She won't bite you. As long as you're actually paying attention (tall order for most men) you can stop if she's uncomfortable.

 

Don't be her friend. If you treat her like a friend, you are a friend. Don't be like most men, do this, and then act surprised.

 

Get to the goddamn point. Whether or not you are a "yes" or a "no" is a conclusion she will have subconsciously reached within 15 minutes of making eye contact with you. She's seen your charsima, your smile, your posture, your body language, the way you talk, the way you interact with others. She's gathered 99% of the information she needs to make a decision.

 

Thank you! and thanks everybody else this is all great advice!

[topaMAXX]

It is impossible to stress enough how eye contact, posture, and confidence are.

 

Men and women both love to talk about themselves. You make people happy by enabling them to talk about themselves. Remember that.

 

Conversely, people love to feel that there's more to know about you. Always share as little as is necessary. Don't volunteer good stories, make them earn them one at a time.

 

Empty chatter has no value. Texts should be arrangements, flirting or sarcasm. Don't try to chat over text. Save conversations with substance for when you are face-to-face.

 

Don't be afraid to flirt and to show interest. You look like a b****. She won't bite you. As long as you're actually paying attention (tall order for most men) you can stop if she's uncomfortable.

 

Don't be her friend. If you treat her like a friend, you are a friend. Don't be like most men, do this, and then act surprised.

 

Get to the goddamn point. Whether or not you are a "yes" or a "no" is a conclusion she will have subconsciously reached within 15 minutes of making eye contact with you. She's seen your charsima, your smile, your posture, your body language, the way you talk, the way you interact with others. She's gathered 99% of the information she needs to make a decision.

 

All good points except the bolded. So so wrong.

[preraph]

I do think you being out of the game at a crucial age has just eroded your confidence. You shouldn't tell them about that right away. Because right away, that puts you in the "I feel sorry for him" category rather than the "I want to climb on him" category.

 

It will probably just take some time to get yourself back at your A game. Meanwhile, you should definitely just spend lots of time with whatever friends you have because just having that feeling of fitting in and being liked will help build your confidence and make you feel "normal" again. Best of luck!