BrunetteBabe1005 Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I have been through everything with my guy friend. We never had sex though, but we always talked and saw each other. Well he has been distancing himself from me since February. I heard from other friends that he has been going through a lot of bad things, and I texted to see how he was, and he was vague with me. Not his usual self with me, cause he told me his life and problems all the time. So I just chalked it up to that he doesn't want to be bothered and that he's in a really bad place, etc. So I let it go. Then I saw him 2 weeks ago, and he was cool with me, he was quiet, and vague and not his usual self, but he was cool with me. Out of nowhere he deleted his Facebook, and the reason I know this is cause my mom is on his list. I don't have a Facebook. My friend is friends with him on Instagram, and she said "Look, he's acting crazy!" and she showed me her Instagram, and basically he kept going on and on about Stalkers, and Creepers. Like he took a snapshot of his Facebook being deactivated and he said "Officially retired from Fb" and someone commented and he said "It's the stalkers, man. I deleted my Gmail, my FB, and I am changing my number. I am sick of dragging bull**** people around in my life" And even in his description on Instagram, He said "For you creepers and stalkers" he keeps going on about that. I was on his Gmail account though, and I don't understand why he would delete that when there was only 4 people on it, and he did nothing on it? Now I am just hurt, cause my friend said he got a new number, but he didn't text it to me. I don't think he's talking about me being a "stalker" cause that wouldn't make sense. I haven't talked to him, and I haven't seen him. I stopped texting him cause it seemed like I bothered him. I just am really sad, cause I don't know what he is even talking about? I have no other form to contact him, and I am afraid somehow this is directed towards me. I thought he would at least care enough to text me his new number. What do you think? Do you think I should take it personally? Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 over time you will encounter such weird behaviors from your so called friends .. you will get sad and heartbroken ..over time you will understand that some of your friends are not really friends ..not because of you but because they are simply crazy or moody ... <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 some people move on, made me both cynical but also appreciative of the friends I do have, never mind, he is gone, more will turn up, plenty new people out there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I don't know how to tell you this, but you are the creeper/stalker he's talking about and he's trying to cut all ties with you without a major confrontation. When someone decides to distance themself, let them do it. Don't keep pestering them! I'm sure he's talking to someone he trusts and is fine. It's just not you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Share Posted March 29, 2014 I don't know how to tell you this, but you are the creeper/stalker he's talking about and he's trying to cut all ties with you without a major confrontation. When someone decides to distance themself, let them do it. Don't keep pestering them! I'm sure he's talking to someone he trusts and is fine. It's just not you anymore. Uh, ok, first of all if I was the "creeper" or the "stalker" then I would have contact with him. I would follow him etc. I do NONE of that, like I said in my post, I haven't talked to him. I haven't seen him either! Only like 2 weeks ago when I was at a store, and HE came up to me and said hi. I didn't even notice it was him until he came up to me, that is how oblivious I am. I am nowhere near a stalker cause I don't have the stalker traits. I don't excessively text, call, or see him. I don't know what he's doing on daily basis or anything! My friend is the one that brought it to my attention about his Instagram, and my Mother is the one that brought it to my attention about his Facebook. I didn't know any of this stalker, and changing his number crap, until my friend and my mother showed me. So if I was stalker wouldn't I know these things without their help? I don't pressure him at all! I just text in February cause our friends said he was in a bad place and I just texted him one time, saying "How are you?" is that a ****ing crime? How am I a stalker for doing that? He replied and we had a short convo, but there was no further contact after that, cause I figured he needed his space. Also I am very upset, angry and sad that my friend seems like he wants nothing to do with me, and for what reason? I don't know, cause like I said it doesn't make sense, cause I have been not contacting him. I haven't seen him, so how would that apply to me? Also I am the type of person if you want me out of your life I will stay out of your life, I won't try and fight for you to be in my life again. I just don't want to be left with the mystery if it's me or not, I would rather him tell me weather it's bad or not. So I am upset cause I feel like I lost my friend, for no reason at all, and I am left in mystery about it. So don't be ignorant, and say rude things like what you said! Cause I am nowhere near a ****ing stalker, it doesn't add up. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Uh, ok, first of all if I was the "creeper" or the "stalker" then I would have contact with him. I would follow him etc. I do NONE of that, like I said in my post, I haven't talked to him. I haven't seen him either! Only like 2 weeks ago when I was at a store, and HE came up to me and said hi. I didn't even notice it was him until he came up to me, that is how oblivious I am. I am nowhere near a stalker cause I don't have the stalker traits. I don't excessively text, call, or see him. I don't know what he's doing on daily basis or anything! My friend is the one that brought it to my attention about his Instagram, and my Mother is the one that brought it to my attention about his Facebook. I didn't know any of this stalker, and changing his number crap, until my friend and my mother showed me. So if I was stalker wouldn't I know these things without their help? I don't pressure him at all! I just text in February cause our friends said he was in a bad place and I just texted him one time, saying "How are you?" is that a ****ing crime? How am I a stalker for doing that? He replied and we had a short convo, but there was no further contact after that, cause I figured he needed his space. Also I am very upset, angry and sad that my friend seems like he wants nothing to do with me, and for what reason? I don't know, cause like I said it doesn't make sense, cause I have been not contacting him. I haven't seen him, so how would that apply to me? Also I am the type of person if you want me out of your life I will stay out of your life, I won't try and fight for you to be in my life again. I just don't want to be left with the mystery if it's me or not, I would rather him tell me weather it's bad or not. So I am upset cause I feel like I lost my friend, for no reason at all, and I am left in mystery about it. So don't be ignorant, and say rude things like what you said! Cause I am nowhere near a ****ing stalker, it doesn't add up. Maybe he really is going through something big in his life, and as you are a platonic friend, you are not a priority due to these....things....going on in his life. Only time will tell if he distanced himself from you on purpose. Or, you know, ASKING HIM. (Asking him goes along with knowing someone who can get in contact with him. Just let him know you're worried, imo.) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 He obviously has issues and doubtful it has to do with you. Maybe he just doesn't feel like talking right now.. But, with that said, when someone distances themselves from you and acts aloof and doesn't make much of an effort, doesn't text back and shows no interest in your life anymore, that's a sure sign they are trying to walk away without a fight or any drama. He was not a real/true long lasting friend. His loss! I know right now it may not feel like that, you are feeling the loss as well but as time goes on and you heal, you'll think of him less and be detached it won't hurt as much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 For whatever reason, he had decided he doesn't want you in his life anymore. It happens. Just try to press on. Make new friends. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Share Posted March 29, 2014 Maybe he really is going through something big in his life, and as you are a platonic friend, you are not a priority due to these....things....going on in his life. Only time will tell if he distanced himself from you on purpose. Or, you know, ASKING HIM. (Asking him goes along with knowing someone who can get in contact with him. Just let him know you're worried, imo.) If I could get in contact with him, I would! I want to know if he doesn't want me in his life. Since I am not on Facebook, Instagram, or anything, I have no way of contacting him. The only thing I was on was his Gmail, Google Plus, or whatever, lol, and he deleted that, so I literally have no way of contacting him, unless I showed up at his doorstep, which I WONT do for multiple reasons. One being I am just not that kind of person, I am the type that I would rather call you. Since his number changed I don't have any contact with him, and it sucks to be in this mystery. Cause if it is towards me, or if he doesn't want me in his life, then I will stay out. I just would like to hear weather it's bad or not, if its towards me or not, and then I would have a better understanding of the situation, but it just really hurts me, cause I am mystery about it. A part of me says it isn't towards me cause it wouldn't make sense, cause I haven't seen or talked to him. Then a part of me says it is towards me cause he deleted his Gmail account and there were only 4 people including me on it. There was nothing on it, so I don't get why he would delete his gmail, when there is nothing on it. So that made me think "Is he trying any which way to just completey sever our friendship?" It making my mind spin, cause I just want to know! But I have no way knowing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Share Posted March 29, 2014 He obviously has issues and doubtful it has to do with you. Maybe he just doesn't feel like talking right now.. But, with that said, when someone distances themselves from you and acts aloof and doesn't make much of an effort, doesn't text back and shows no interest in your life anymore, that's a sure sign they are trying to walk away without a fight or any drama. He was not a real/true long lasting friend. His loss! I know right now it may not feel like that, you are feeling the loss as well but as time goes on and you heal, you'll think of him less and be detached it won't hurt as much. Thank you! Yeah, I don't see as "His loss" I just feel really hurt, cause I just wish I knew. He doesn't have to go into detail if it isn't me, I just want to know if I am associated with this. Also if he doesn't want me in his life I would rather him tell me straight up that he doesn't want me in his life, than have me in mystery like this and in total confusion about it. He does have a lot of issues though, and I don't know if he is just in a manic state or something, cause he has some mental problems. I have no idea, but either way, it bothers me, cause I just would like to know, but I have no way knowing, so now I am just hurt, angry and sad about it. There's nothing else to do, only wait. Wait to see if he contacts me with his new number, or wait to see if an information leaks out somewhere, and then maybe it will put some of my mind at ease, cause now I am just reeling. But thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Thank you! Yeah, I don't see as "His loss" I just feel really hurt, cause I just wish I knew. He doesn't have to go into detail if it isn't me, I just want to know if I am associated with this. Also if he doesn't want me in his life I would rather him tell me straight up that he doesn't want me in his life, than have me in mystery like this and in total confusion about it. He does have a lot of issues though, and I don't know if he is just in a manic state or something, cause he has some mental problems. I have no idea, but either way, it bothers me, cause I just would like to know, but I have no way knowing, so now I am just hurt, angry and sad about it. There's nothing else to do, only wait. Wait to see if he contacts me with his new number, or wait to see if an information leaks out somewhere, and then maybe it will put some of my mind at ease, cause now I am just reeling. But thank you! You may never know the answer or why's. It'll just takes time to get to a place where it doesn't bother you anymore. You have every right to feel hurt and angry/sad about his decision but don't go chasing for a reason. As for him closing down all his social media, some people do that! I have a friend who got rid of everything as he is just a private person and feels too, that life is meant to be living offline, not online. He'll call/text and email but that's it. Maybe your friend is sick of social media. Anyway, don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong here. It's him and if there is something going on in his life, I doubt you're the cause of it. Not knowing is bothersome, but really try not to let this eat you up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted March 30, 2014 Author Share Posted March 30, 2014 You may never know the answer or why's. It'll just takes time to get to a place where it doesn't bother you anymore. You have every right to feel hurt and angry/sad about his decision but don't go chasing for a reason. As for him closing down all his social media, some people do that! I have a friend who got rid of everything as he is just a private person and feels too, that life is meant to be living offline, not online. He'll call/text and email but that's it. Maybe your friend is sick of social media. Anyway, don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong here. It's him and if there is something going on in his life, I doubt you're the cause of it. Not knowing is bothersome, but really try not to let this eat you up. Yeah that's true! Thank you so much for being supportive! I do appreciate it! I am just really in a down place right now. I am just upset cause I can't think of any logical reason. This never happened to me, cause I still have my friends, so this is new to me. But I appreciate your advice, and I am hoping that day will come really soon, where I just don't care about him or the situation anymore. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Sounds like you dodged a bullet. He ended things rudely without any care about you. Why is he so secretive? Maybe he's on drugs? Link to post Share on other sites
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