They met when they were already in a relationship

[KungFuJoe]

Like someone else already mentioned...most people are NOT single. And most people are dating, in a relationship, etc more often than not. For me, personally, from the time I started dating (at 18) to the time I started seeing the girl that would eventually be my wife (at 25), I was probably completely single (meaning seeing no one, not even in a casual sex sense) for about 3-6 months combined in those 7 years.

 

I'm not saying go around and cheat or steal someone from someone else, but you also can't expect everyone to want or even NEED a period of mourning after they're done seeing someone. Too many factors involved.

 

I'm of the opinion that if two people are meant to be, it will happen, regardless of timing or situation.

[irc333]

Like someone else already mentioned...most people are NOT single. And most people are dating, in a relationship, etc more often than not. For me, personally, from the time I started dating (at 18) to the time I started seeing the girl that would eventually be my wife (at 25), I was probably completely single (meaning seeing no one, not even in a casual sex sense) for about 3-6 months combined in those 7 years.

 

I'm not saying go around and cheat or steal someone from someone else, but you also can't expect everyone to want or even NEED a period of mourning after they're done seeing someone. Too many factors involved.

 

I'm of the opinion that if two people are meant to be, it will happen, regardless of timing or situation.

 

Or better yet, they are "seeing someone", that's the most commonly, exclusive non-exclusive phrase said by women. Funny thing, there was this woman online that said she was "Seeing someone" but yet she's on OK Cupid with her Chat activated. I questioned her on that and she says she has a lot of "pen pals' throughout the world on OK Cupid.

[Els]

My H had a girlfriend when we met.

 

I think this is really common among teens and young adults, where relationships are not considered permanent. At that age, we weren't dating to find spouses. We were dating to figure out this dating thing, what feels right and what doesn't. Kissing some frogs, so to speak.

 

Ditto. My SO and I both had a gf/bf when we met, which is partly why we were friends for a long time before we got together.

 

I'm also not sure what 'meeting' has to do with 'stealing'. People meet people all the time. That doesn't necessarily mean that anything 'happens' until both are single.

[Arabella]

I had been engaged for 4 months when I met my current H. I was already unhappy in the relationship and thinking that it had been a mistake to agree to marry that person. He became my close friend.

 

At the time, I didn't think that meeting my H had anything to do with leaving my ex. In retrospect, I think it did have an impact to some degree. He had many of the qualities I wanted that my ex did not, and that made those deficiencies that much more glaring. I realized that I did not have to settle in such an unhappy relationship.

 

I left him and 4 months later, we became involved -- first as FWB, which evolved into a relationship several months later. I never regretted leaving my ex, and I doubt I would have even if my H and I hadn't gotten together.

[hotpotato]

Agreed. I could never trust a guy who left someone else for me. It's not romantic, it's just squicky. I'd be outtie as soon as I found out he had a partner, though...certainly wouldn't stick around waiting for him to leave. I also wouldn't date someone freshly single. I think it's a huge mistake not to allow for a mourning/recovery period. Just asking for trouble. And "stealing" someone's partner? UGH. Shows the character of the person "stealing"

 

Exactly.

 

It's not compliment. It just shows how fickle they are.

 

I think if people want to leave they should just leave. I dont see the point of waiting for an escape hatch.

[somedude81]

Hmm, so then it doesn't seem to be uncommon for people to switch relationships.

[hotpotato]

Hmm, so then it doesn't seem to be uncommon for people to switch relationships.

 

It's probably not.

 

It's a transition.

 

It can be difficult to go from being in a relationship to all of a sudden being single. This is why many people here on LS struggle. The dumper much of the time avoids this by setting up another relationship to jump to after lleaving someone else.

 

Most of the time it doesn't work out. It Iis simply a stop gap measure to avoid drastic change.

[somedude81]

It's probably not.

 

It's a transition.

 

It can be difficult to go from being in a relationship to all of a sudden being single. This is why many people here on LS struggle. The dumper much of the time avoids this by setting up another relationship to jump to after lleaving someone else.

 

Most of the time it doesn't work out. It Iis simply a stop gap measure to avoid drastic change.

I wonder if this more common of women than men.

 

I can't imagine myself staying in a relationship when I'm not happy.

[hotpotato]

I wonder if this more common of women than men.

 

I can't imagine myself staying in a relationship when I'm not happy.

 

When men dump me, they usually have someone else lined up already. The last ex actually had two girlfriends at once for a short time (myself and the new girl). The last one even splashed his new relationship all over fb.

 

It's going to be easier for men and women to do this because of OLD.

[tbf]

Branch swinging isn't unusual for males and females. But if they're willing to branch swing to you, there's greater likelihood that they will also branch swing from you.

 

My perception is that these are weak people and not worth my time.

[somedude81]

OK, so both genders do it.

 

As for them being weak and not worth my time, if I don't have any options and really cute girl wants to branch swing to me, how can I possibly say no.

 

"No thanks, I rather look at porn"

 

Yeah right.

[tbf]

OK, so both genders do it.

 

As for them being weak and not worth my time, if I don't have any options and really cute girl wants to branch swing to me, how can I possibly say no.

 

"No thanks, I rather look at porn"

 

Yeah right.

Do what you want but don't come crying when she's swung away.

 

Actions to consequences.

[somedude81]

Do what you want but don't come crying when she's swung away.

 

Actions to consequences.

I'm actually aware of that now.

 

If I do have another girl branch swing to me, and she ends it, I know that I'll have only myself to blame.