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Hey all,

 

First off, I want to thank those who have given me advice on my other topic, which is now a closed book much to my relief. You all collectively rock, and I look forward to being able to stick around and help out others.

 

Im gonna have to give a short backstory before I get to the real meat of this thread though. You see, Im a 20 year old guy in his third year of college. I dated in high school but havent dated since and have found that it was much, much easier to meet people then. However, in my high school days I was very insecure about myself (Im average looking and have a good sense of humor, but I had a rough childhood), and thusly I only dated twice.

 

Ive since matured past my insecurity (and actually just recently completely conquered it), but now my problem is not interacting with people but rather finding people to interact with. For the last couple years ive been pretty much concentrating on my work and school life, with the former being an obviously bad place to find someone you like and the latter being impossible in that the male to female ratio in the school is roughly 50:1.

 

Thus the question. I know you don't purposefully find love, but where can one begin to look? Ive toyed with the idea of taking up a singing class as I like to sing, and many of the threads ive read suggest things like that to meet new people. A friend of mine mentioned speed dating, and though that sounds fun it seems geared towards people older than I. I'm too young to really get into the bar scene and dont enjoy clubs that much, but then I would assume bars and clubs arent good for much more than flings; something I wouldnt want to do anyway.

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Volunteer work? You'll find people with similar interests. Even if you don't meet someone there, you can make connections and meet others through them.

 

I think a singing or music class sounds like a good idea. Maybe even a drama class or community theater. Are there any events going on in your area? If you drive you could put something up on a bulletin board like ride-share to the Renaissance festival or something - they share in the cost of gas -- or look for something like that to join others. Also, listen to your local radio stations -- sometimes they charter busses for special events or political rally's, etc. and it might cost a little, but if you go with friends or alone, you are bound to meet more people. I don't know if you have a religion that you practice, but if you do there may be some singles groups that you can join.

 

Clubs or groups on campus may be a possibility too. Do you like photography or journalism? Maybe take a class and contribute to a school newspaper. What about clubs or groups at work? Some companies will have employee outings for which you can volunteer -- you may make new friends at work and meet others through them. The key is to find something that you like and not participate only to find someone, but to have fun and make friends. The more people you know, the more opportunities you have of meeting eligible singles.

 

Do you live in an apartment complex or similar setting where you know a few people and can secure an activity room or club house? You could arrange an open-house party and post invitations, or just ask various classmates. It doesn't have to be a toally free party out of your pocket - that can get expensive. I remember going to a few that were like pot-luck -- everyone brought something (including booze! - actually MAINLY booze!) so that those hosting it didn't foot the whole bill. We called them 'mixers' I don't know what they would be called now. Not like a Rave where it's advertised and open to anyone willing to pay a cover charge, more informal and with fewer people. Friends, friends of friends, acquaintances and they bring a friend or two. That might be something that you do after you have made a few new friends in school or at a club or something. Times have changed and there may be more restrictions and more liability involved now - so be careful about that. Or, you can just invite a few people over and tell them they can bring a friend and just have your own party. The point is you are seen by others and getting to know more people.

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Although Beth had a million great suggestions, I'd like to add one: Consider joining a co-ed recreational sports team. I joined a VB team and met tons of ppl - our team goes to the pub together, does a Christmas thing, goes bowling or whatever on weeks that there is no game... In other words, it results in lots of social activity in different contexts. And not only do I get to meet the actual players on my team, I get to meet all the players on the teams against whom we play.

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Originally posted by poister

Consider joining a co-ed recreational sports team. I joined a VB team and met tons of ppl - our team goes to the pub together, does a Christmas thing, goes bowling or whatever on weeks that there is no game...

 

great idea poister. any city of fairly decent size is going to have singles who want to meet other people. search the internet, papers, library or ask around looking for singles groups or sports clubs. they are becoming very popular now a days due to more poeople being single.

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Heh, well my school is a technical one and we dont really have any clubs or social events. I agree with you Beth on not doing things specifically to find someone, thus why I mentioned singing since I enjoy signing and figure at the very least I could bone up on my singing and social skills at the same time ;) Drama and acting would be fun too. As for the co-ed sports idea, Ive never really been big into sports much either, but then ive only been exposed to hockey, football, and such. Volleyball or tennis could be pretty fun.

 

Mainly, (and not saying your guys suggestions dont apply here; theyre great, im just expounding on my post) Im just looking for ways to get out and connect with people. Though my last "dating" experience ended in a relatively bad way it served to shatter my inhibitions and boost my confidence, which is odd as I would expect the exact opposite to have happened. Mere weeks ago I was really shy and reserved, and now I just want to get out and do stuff with people. Thus the purpose of this thread ;) On a side note, what about meeting people when you are out and about, like shopping or at a bookstore? Does that actually happen in real life? :p

 

At any rate, those are all excellent suggestions. Basically Im just going to start pursuing things that interest me (Like singing, maybe acting, heck I wonder if there are bass guitar classes) and seeing what happens. At the very least Ill have fun doing stuff I like doing anyway.

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Im 21 and never dated yet. Might want to read my post below. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t55295/

 

I have a crush on this cute college chick at work and shes nice but would always make excuses to avodie going out with me. Bad part is my crush is 150 or so miles away at school right now. I talked to her on the phone last weekend

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