Long time married friend need

[alleykat28]

Bare with me here. First time I have posted this question or asked it to someone other to my close female friend.

 

I have a male friend. Have known him for 14 plus years. Have stayed I contact off an on for those. Just recently started talking again. I have been in a relation with my SO for twelve. My friend has been married for 16 plus years.

 

Since getting back in contact with him my old feelings have surfaced. And boy have they surfaced. We talk on a daily basis and I actually go into what I call withdrawals if I don't get to talk to him. He knows how I feel and it doesn't deter him from talking to me we just try and stay away from things that stir the pot. Well these past two weeks I have been in a funk and I can't pull myself out of it. I use him as my crutch and probably lean on him more than I should.

 

With that back ground history what should I do as far as my relationship with him. Obviously getting out of this funk this time has been harder than the time before only difference I have not told him what is wrong this time. He knows something is up. I don't know how to deal with the feelings. Should I break all contact with him or should I continue working on my feelings and keep him as a friend? I hate to lose him as a friend as he is a good person.

 

Thanks

[cupic]

He is married, your in a twelve year relationship. You are both committed to other people. You should establish what you want you relationship to be with the OM, and what you expect your relation ship with your partner is with you, and him with his wife. If you want to be friends, and only friends, spell that out to him and to yourself. If you want to be more than that, please do your SO a favour and put them out of their misery and let them go. If you are spending this much time and emotion with another OM, I'd presume your partner already suspects something up.

 

Do you consider yourself to be having an emotional affair with this person? Your statement "I Use him as my cructch and probably lean on him more than I should" says a lot.

 

You said your old feelings have resurfaced. What kind of feelings? Did you have prior romantic relationship with the OM?

 

If you dont want to loose im as a friend, you dont have to. Just spell out boundries. But keep in mind there are other people here at stake, and not just your own emotions at play.