glue808 Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Hi all, My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 3 years and we have been doing long distance for about a year and a couple months. I have only seen him 3 times since August. Since about this past December, I have been thinking about having him move in. I'm tired of being apart from him and I'm getting tired of having to say goodbye every time he visits me. I'm ready to have him here with me. I am financially independent and pay for everything myself. My parents have been supportive of my decisions in the past; however, they are very protective of me and are conservative. My oldest brother had his girlfriend (and now wife) live with him when they were only 19. My mother was furious at the time, and to this day, she still doesn't feel comfortable with what he did (this is 20 years ago). My next brother only moved in after he proposed to his wife. My last brother lived with his girlfriend for about half a year before he popped the question. I love my parents, but I feel like it is time for me to live with my boyfriend. I live alone, and I will be turning 25 this year. I am nervous to tell my parents, and I don't want them to be disappointed-- I don't want to hurt them, and I don't want to be hurt by how they feel. I imagine they will be concerned and sad that I'm not their little girl anymore. I want to make sure they understand and respect my decision. I asked them to come visit me this weekend and I am going to tell them then-- that I plan on having him move in by the beginning of May. Does anyone have any advice to give? I would really appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Just be frank with them. Parents aren't always going to like what we do, but if they are decent people, they will eventually accept your decision. You are an adult and you should decide what is best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cakess Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Yeah, I agree with pink sugar. You are an adult now and they have to respect your decision. I'd be open and honest with them, answer their questions and make sure you have a plan to make the move-in as quick and drama-free as possible. When they see you have everything taken care of, they're gonna have to accept it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Make sure you tell them not ask them. A financially independent 25 year old doesn't need her parents' permission but you do need to be able to deal with the fall out. If your mom had that much trouble with your brothers & is still holding a grudge 20 years later, she isn't going to take this well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author glue808 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Thank you all for your replies. I think one thing I am really going to miss is having my parents come visit me. They'd come and stay and we'd all go do things together. I really enjoy it. When I go home and my boyfriend visited me there in the past, we had to sleep in separate rooms. I feel like now, because my boyfriend will be living with me, that they might not visit me again because we are not engaged. I don't think my dad would feel coming to visit again knowing that my boyfriend is staying here in the future because of this. The closer the days come, the more guilty I feel that some of these visits will no longer happen I enjoy my parents visiting, but I want my boyfriend to stay here with me. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
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