NiceGuy73 Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) Ok so been 2/3 weeks since me and the wife separated.....The kids stop with me every other weekend and this was my weekend off so to speak. Went down the town last night got smashed women around but I could not face talking to anyone at all .....I miss my mrs and am on a self destruct route Through the week I am doing better joined the gym so don't drink but the weekends are bloody tough.......i feel an overwhelming urge to get out there as I can't stop in It's a nightmare I just want to mend ASAP but I know going out getting pissed up is only a very temporary boost. When I have the kids I picture my wife going out partying on the weekend so I just get this urge to get out..... I know it's probably not doing me any good but how do you get the strength to do the right thing??????very confused and feeling sorry for myself Anyway sorry for waffling on .....it's Sunday night and I miss my family that's all Edited March 30, 2014 by NiceGuy73 Link to post Share on other sites
UltraTech Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Ok so been 2/3 weeks since me and the wife separated.....The kids stop with me every other weekend and this was my weekend off so to speak. Went down the town got smashed women around but I could not face talking to anyone at all .....I miss my mrs and am on a self destruct route Through the week I am doing better joined the gym so don't drink but the weekends are bloody tough.......i feel an overwhelming urge to get out there as I can't stop in It's a nightmare I just want to mend ASAP but I know going out getting pissed up is only a very temporary boost. When I have the kids I picture my wife going out partying on the weekend so I just get this urge to get out..... I know it's probably not doing me any good but how do you get the strength to do the right thing??????very confused and feeling sorry for myself Anyway sorry for waffling on .....it's Sunday night and I miss my family that's all Going to the gym is critical, I'm so proud you have done this, its a massive step in repairing your own self confidence, trust me on that, going to the gym was actually a life changer for me in many ways, trust me, i also box now as well, which i would recommend to anyone. Going out on piss and chatting up other women does nothing but prolong the agony. All you will do is wake up in the morning missing her. Pointless, you are not ready for it. Concentrate on eating right, getting bigger in the gym, which will increase your confidence, which will help you become and even better parent. You will meet someone else eventually, but you need to get your stuff sorted at home first, probably will take another 6/9 months, maybe more, but make no mistake, you are in rehabilitation right now, and you need to get yourself fit first, then you can move onto bigger and better things Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Going to the gym is awesome, NG. Find other productive things you can do, especially on the weekend (when you're with and not with your kids)... things that you enjoy and that are healthy for you. You're going through a really hard time. Keep posting here if it helps you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceGuy73 Posted March 30, 2014 Author Share Posted March 30, 2014 Thanks for responding...... Just so difficult I know I am not ready .....but all me pals etc go to the pub etc......how do u stay in on a sat night for instance This is a nightmare.......so down.......rock bottom Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 It's natural to erase any pain; physical or emotional, but you have to let it run its course. Believe it or not, the pain is there for a reason. Someday, when you look back, you'll understand this. It's hard to put into words. That's my way of saying it's unwise to rush it. Don't confuse grieving, sadness, depression or affection withdraw with guilt. We experience 'rock bottom' by suffering the consequences of bad decisions and poor character. I do not know the details of your break up, but you must realize if you loved your wife and family, the pain of not being with them now is bound to hurt. So, we deal with the pain with understanding; not trying to drown it, or replace what we're missing with something (or someone) else. Bottom line: Don't feel bad about feeling bad. It is normal and natural. Don't let your pride get in the way of your healing. It may seem so, but you are in no competition with your wife for 'new company'. If you were, you'd probably lose miserably. Even moderately attractive women can instantly produce male companionship; and do so much more easily than men. That's how society is set up. Don't put your dog in that fight. You want to attract women? Heal yourself and don't rush the process. That shows resolve, intelligence and replaces neediness with determination. That's enough for now. Focus on your kids, take care of your body. Read, write, or both instead of hitting the pubs. Lean on trusted friends who will support the healthy things you need to get through this. Keep posting. Link to post Share on other sites
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