Cocochai Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 For those who finally decided to let go whether it was blocking your XMM/XMW to heal and move on (because you know you'll never get whet you want).. How did it make you feel and did they keep trying to get in touch w/ you after realizing you wasn't going to be involved in the A anymore? I ask because I see so many OW/OM easily let go and w/out any warning. Have you done the same and truly moved on... Even tho you knew it would hurt but it's all for the best to move on? Link to post Share on other sites
QuakerOats Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I blocked the MM from my phones today. If he calls, he will get the Verizon message that his number is blocked...so its kind of obvious. He hasn't emailed, which is highly unusual...so I am assuming he tried to call. I think he knew this day was coming and I think he will accept it...which is bittersweet. It hurts me, but I keep reminding myself it is for ME, not him. No longer will I be waiting for his calls...I need to move on with my life since he will not. I had to do it for real...not to "test" him, to see if it would peak his curiosity. I have no idea for how long I will hurt. I doubt it will be easy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I stopped contacting my xMM and sort of warned him first. It's been 5 months of NC. I felt good about doing it, yet bad at the same time, if that makes any sense. I still feel this way today. Like I want to talk to him again terribly but also feel proud of myself that I am no longer involved in the mess. It's confusing. I know that in time, these feelings will subside though, especially when I find someone new. (which unfortunately won't be till the end of the year once I finish some personal goals) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 And by the way, that feeling that you hope that he will still reach out to you and contact you is like an intolerable neural itch that never goes away. Just get used to it. That doesn't mean it should be done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 For those who finally decided to let go whether it was blocking your XMM/XMW to heal and move on (because you know you'll never get whet you want).. Not true. You CAN get what you want - provided the other TRULY wants to give it. Now go find someone who WILL (because everyone CAN - they just have to choose it) How did it make you feel and did they keep trying to get in touch w/ you after realizing you wasn't going to be involved in the A anymore? As most know, I'm a BH. My now xW didn't want the D. But I did. Because of this - she made mulitple attempts during and after the D was final to "come back" - so I can speak to this a bit. So it felt good to be VALUED. It felt good to see her "recognize the mistake". In short - great ego feed. And I needed it. But that leads to confusion - why now and not then? Quite the head spin I admit as the questions materialize - and then the sub-questions and the what-is...ugh, I was dizzy. Aside from the ego feed - it was really more hurtful than helpful. It served as a reminder of what was and could have been but, for reasons I can only guess at, was not chosen. It was NOT healthy. So, I had to have a few hard talks (cant go NC as we have 2 kids we co-parent). And by hard I mean not stern - but hard to see her face when I said "no more, its over". One might expect gloating - but it was very sad for me. All of this, I imagine, is the SAME for OW/OM. It doesn't get better with all this LC bullshyte. Its the slow twist of the knife. So end it. At the end of the day, regardless if the reason is "valid", they choose "not you". And it hurts. No one likes getting dumped. It sucks. I ask because I see so many OW/OM easily let go and w/out any warning. Have you done the same and truly moved on... Even tho you knew it would hurt but it's all for the best to move on? My answer to this is above. And honestly, what answer would help? What does one need, I would say want, to hear that makes it better? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
not-so-sure Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 For those who finally decided to let go whether it was blocking your XMM/XMW to heal and move on (because you know you'll never get whet you want).. How did it make you feel and did they keep trying to get in touch w/ you after realizing you wasn't going to be involved in the A anymore? I ask because I see so many OW/OM easily let go and w/out any warning. Have you done the same and truly moved on... Even tho you knew it would hurt but it's all for the best to move on? What you see and what is true do not often intersect. I am getting on with my life after cutting the cord in November. I am feeling better but there are still days when I am a mess. Outwardly life goes on though. I often look like I am full of beans. Sometimes I am dying inside. However, I do know that letting go was the right choice. You won't see me being an OM again, that's for sure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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