Back together, but does she really want this? [update]

[Lost And Found]

First of all, hello LS . I would like to thank you so much in advance for taking the time to read this. I'm new to this forum, and after reading some inspirational stuff on here (including Caliguy's story) - I would really like to share my situation with you and gain some advice. I will keep it as short as I can, so just ask me to elaborate on anything that's unclear!

 

 

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me in December.

 

 

Some background

 

We have known each other since high school, and started dating in 2009 - we both instantly fell for each other each other right from the get go, we made it 'official' after around 3 months. We fell deeper in love with each other as time went on. Being our respective first loves, everything felt perfect, like we were just meant to be you know? This continued for almost 5 years.

 

 

A turn for the worst

 

We are both in our final year of study in college (both 21), so the workload is huge. September, being our first month of study seemed ok (in my eyes anyway). I am a massive worrier when it comes to finals. I started to put excessive time into my studies.

In October, she tells me that she feels we are slightly drifting apart.

 

Now here is where I went wrong (I did not know this at the time, but Jeez do I know now).

 

- I got too comfortable in the relationship, although I was still deeply in love with her, I seemed to prioritise my studies over the relationship

 

- I should have made changes the day she told me she that I seemed distant

 

- NEVER assume problems will fix them selves, look out for the signs/red flags and take action right away!

 

 

As the months went on, I too could feel that something was not quite right. But I was under the illusion that because we loved each other, things will be fine once our finals were over.

 

 

Once the finals were over in December, she said those four god forbidden words - "We need to talk".

 

A lot was said, mainly a blur. I was shell shocked, and devastated to hear her tell me that she doesn't see a future in us any more, that she'd been doubting us for months and that we have become too distant to come back from this. She said that she still loves me, and that she doesn't know if this is the right choice or not.

 

A lot of what was said does seem to relate to the 'Grass is greener syndrome' thread on here. - What do you think?

 

After realising that there was nothing else I could possibly say to change her mind - I had to leave. Both in tears, we said we love each other as I left.

 

Over the following week I became severely depressed, unable to eat or sleep - I had reached such a dark place. I truly feel for anyone who has been there. She contacted me every day to see how I was doing, I tried my best to seem ok.

 

 

Trying again

 

After only 2 weeks of limited contact, we agreed to meet up. I know 2 weeks is no time at all really, to me it felt like an eternity. I spent that time working out how I can better myself. I had realised where I went wrong during this time of thought.

When we met up, she said that she didn't feel the same way anymore, and actually seemed like she was over me, which was heartbreaking. I don't know if what I did next was the right thing to do - I expressed all of my feelings to her, and pretty much pleaded (weak I know) to try again. She eventually said we should take it slow and see what happens.

Things were slow at first, but then seemed to go great. We had many dates, spent good quality time together like we used to. For valentines day we drove to the city had a lovely meal at a restaurant, and stayed the night. We continued to spend lots of time together, re connecting. It felt as if the break up never happened,until:

 

1 step forward, 2 steps back

 

So on Friday (28th march), out of the blue she seemed like a different person, she was being very cold and distant, not saying much. I asked her what was wrong, and eventually she said that she isn't sure if she wants this any more. That she doesn't feel the same way.

 

I didn't beg or plead this time, I had become so much stronger than before. I just accepted it. Now this is where things got really confusing - I told her that I can't wait around for her to make a decision, not when she could ultimately decide that we are over for good. I won't be able to cope with that, especially if she decides that after a long time of me waiting. I said we can't be in each others lives when I still love her. So I guess this is goodbye.

 

I don't think she expected me to say that, because she then said she doesn't want to lose me, and that she wants us to try again, really try.

 

Of course, there's nothing else I want more than for us to be together, I love her so much.

 

So we are back together now, and the last few days have been great.

 

 

That is my story up to now

 

I tried to keep it as short as possible, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you reading this.

 

I just don't know what to expect, things seem to have from one extreme to the other. But I am just terrified of losing her. I am very grateful to be back together with her. But at the same time, I keep worrying that somewhere along the line she will want to end things again. It feels like my ability to trust someone has taken a hit, I don't want this to show.

 

What do you think? Could really do with some advice

[bluegreen]

Anything and everything can happen honey.

I'd like to thank you for being clear for accepting your flaws and mistakes in such mature way its refreshing to see that in 21 year old.

 

In this case use what you learned hope for the best prepare for worst.

And no its not just you its what we all have to go trough once relationship gets into crisis.

[mtnbiker3000]

TBH - Didn't read the whole thing. But I can tell you this. In relationships, as with most of life in general, often times... things are not as they seem. Just when you think you have a grasp on a situation is when you should be most concerned...

[Trovador]

So you're walking on eggs shells, and that's no way to live... she said it clearly, she's not sure... maybe there is someone or something else more important to her, maybe she got cold feet... only she knows what it is, but you deserve a fully committed partner, so until she decides to fully invest herself in the rs, you better prepare for the worst...

[DannyCA]

Yeah honestly, I would seriously prepare for the worst. I hate to talk like every situation is bound for the worst possible outcome (which is not true because you could be that very very rare exception.) She was not feeling the relationship as much as she was before. She wasn't sure if she saw a future with you anymore. The problem I read with you is that she never got to fully see what it's like without you. Now I'm not saying break up with her so she knows what its like without you, but she can't really see what she has if you're always there.

 

Because you're in school I think you can relate to this. I had this Spanish 202 professor in college for half a semester. He was super cool and taught the class in half spanish and half english. But the thing was even though he was cool, I thought "this guy could teach a little better." But after half the semester, he ended up having to be replaced. This new professor was super strict and taught in only spanish. I never really appreciated my old professor until I saw that I didn't like the new professor.

[Lost And Found]

Anything and everything can happen honey.

I'd like to thank you for being clear for accepting your flaws and mistakes in such mature way its refreshing to see that in 21 year old.

 

In this case use what you learned hope for the best prepare for worst.

And no its not just you its what we all have to go trough once relationship gets into crisis.

 

Thank you, that's really kind of you to say. I just don't know how I can prepare myself for the worst. I can't stand the thought of not being with her .

 

 

So you're walking on eggs shells, and that's no way to live... she said it clearly, she's not sure... maybe there is someone or something else more important to her, maybe she got cold feet... only she knows what it is, but you deserve a fully committed partner, so until she decides to fully invest herself in the rs, you better prepare for the worst...

 

It does feel like I am walking on egg shells yes. There's definitely no one else though, we have the same friendship group (all in happy relationships) and the most time we have spent apart is a day or two.

Right now there are days where it feels like she's fully committed, and tells me that she loves me, shows great affection like she use to. But there is also the odd day when she will be a bit distant.

 

 

Yeah honestly, I would seriously prepare for the worst. I hate to talk like every situation is bound for the worst possible outcome (which is not true because you could be that very very rare exception.) She was not feeling the relationship as much as she was before. She wasn't sure if she saw a future with you anymore. The problem I read with you is that she never got to fully see what it's like without you. Now I'm not saying break up with her so she knows what its like without you, but she can't really see what she has if you're always there.

 

Because you're in school I think you can relate to this. I had this Spanish 202 professor in college for half a semester. He was super cool and taught the class in half spanish and half english. But the thing was even though he was cool, I thought "this guy could teach a little better." But after half the semester, he ended up having to be replaced. This new professor was super strict and taught in only spanish. I never really appreciated my old professor until I saw that I didn't like the new professor.

 

Thank you for sharing. I guess we really didn’t have a lot of time apart, it just doesn’t seem like a sensible thing to do now that we are back together. She hasn’t mentioned anything about having time apart and seems committed, there’s just that odd day where she will be a bit distant. I just don’t know how to prepare my self for the worst, I’ve never been through a break up before and I love her too much to even think about preparing for the worst .

[UltraTech]

First of all, hello LS . I would like to thank you so much in advance for taking the time to read this. I'm new to this forum, and after reading some inspirational stuff on here (including Caliguy's story) - I would really like to share my situation with you and gain some advice. I will keep it as short as I can, so just ask me to elaborate on anything that's unclear!

 

 

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me in December.

 

 

Some background

 

We have known each other since high school, and started dating in 2009 - we both instantly fell for each other each other right from the get go, we made it 'official' after around 3 months. We fell deeper in love with each other as time went on. Being our respective first loves, everything felt perfect, like we were just meant to be you know? This continued for almost 5 years.

 

 

A turn for the worst

 

We are both in our final year of study in college (both 21), so the workload is huge. September, being our first month of study seemed ok (in my eyes anyway). I am a massive worrier when it comes to finals. I started to put excessive time into my studies.

In October, she tells me that she feels we are slightly drifting apart.

 

Now here is where I went wrong (I did not know this at the time, but Jeez do I know now).

 

- I got too comfortable in the relationship, although I was still deeply in love with her, I seemed to prioritise my studies over the relationship

 

- I should have made changes the day she told me she that I seemed distant

 

- NEVER assume problems will fix them selves, look out for the signs/red flags and take action right away!

 

 

As the months went on, I too could feel that something was not quite right. But I was under the illusion that because we loved each other, things will be fine once our finals were over.

 

 

Once the finals were over in December, she said those four god forbidden words - "We need to talk".

 

A lot was said, mainly a blur. I was shell shocked, and devastated to hear her tell me that she doesn't see a future in us any more, that she'd been doubting us for months and that we have become too distant to come back from this. She said that she still loves me, and that she doesn't know if this is the right choice or not.

 

A lot of what was said does seem to relate to the 'Grass is greener syndrome' thread on here. - What do you think?

 

After realising that there was nothing else I could possibly say to change her mind - I had to leave. Both in tears, we said we love each other as I left.

 

Over the following week I became severely depressed, unable to eat or sleep - I had reached such a dark place. I truly feel for anyone who has been there. She contacted me every day to see how I was doing, I tried my best to seem ok.

 

 

Trying again

 

After only 2 weeks of limited contact, we agreed to meet up. I know 2 weeks is no time at all really, to me it felt like an eternity. I spent that time working out how I can better myself. I had realised where I went wrong during this time of thought.

When we met up, she said that she didn't feel the same way anymore, and actually seemed like she was over me, which was heartbreaking. I don't know if what I did next was the right thing to do - I expressed all of my feelings to her, and pretty much pleaded (weak I know) to try again. She eventually said we should take it slow and see what happens.

Things were slow at first, but then seemed to go great. We had many dates, spent good quality time together like we used to. For valentines day we drove to the city had a lovely meal at a restaurant, and stayed the night. We continued to spend lots of time together, re connecting. It felt as if the break up never happened,until:

 

1 step forward, 2 steps back

 

So on Friday (28th march), out of the blue she seemed like a different person, she was being very cold and distant, not saying much. I asked her what was wrong, and eventually she said that she isn't sure if she wants this any more. That she doesn't feel the same way.

 

I didn't beg or plead this time, I had become so much stronger than before. I just accepted it. Now this is where things got really confusing - I told her that I can't wait around for her to make a decision, not when she could ultimately decide that we are over for good. I won't be able to cope with that, especially if she decides that after a long time of me waiting. I said we can't be in each others lives when I still love her. So I guess this is goodbye.

 

I don't think she expected me to say that, because she then said she doesn't want to lose me, and that she wants us to try again, really try.

 

Of course, there's nothing else I want more than for us to be together, I love her so much.

 

So we are back together now, and the last few days have been great.

 

 

That is my story up to now

 

I tried to keep it as short as possible, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you reading this.

 

I just don't know what to expect, things seem to have from one extreme to the other. But I am just terrified of losing her. I am very grateful to be back together with her. But at the same time, I keep worrying that somewhere along the line she will want to end things again. It feels like my ability to trust someone has taken a hit, I don't want this to show.

 

What do you think? Could really do with some advice

 

She is going to want to leave again my friend.

 

I sound really harsh, but i've actually been here in a similar type of situation.

 

Very little doubt in my mind this girl is going to try and break up with you again.

 

Also, I have to ask, have you considered the possibility someone else is involved or she may like someone else?

 

The part where you said she wanted to break up, you accepted it and then she said she didnt wanna lose you.

 

That's textbook stuff right there.

 

When my ex promised me she would no longer contact the other man anymore, i caught her out, she was telling him she loves him on the phone blah blah.

 

The ONE and ONLY time i was actually strong and had some self respect during that whole period (eg. not begging and pleading) is when I said "Fine, have him then".

 

And she immediately did a u turn and promised she would never speak to him again. Stupid me, instead of leaving it there, I then started getting weak and emotional and asking her why she was doing this......and within the same period of this 30 min conversation, she was telling me she wanted to end it again.

 

Prepare yourself. seriously.

 

You know something isnt right, thats why you are on here.

[Damaged217]

I really think that she's going to pull the same crap again. I feel this way because I have been that girl before. It seems to me like she may not be sure if she's still in love with you or not. But since you are each other's first loves and have been together for so long, she is too scared to experience life without you. She's scared that if she breaks up, you won't be in her life at all anymore and she isn't sure if she can handle that. Sometimes you just outgrow a relationship and I think this is what is happening. I know you're scared of not having her in your life anymore, but do you really want to continue with someone who isn't sure if she really wants to be with you or not?

 

You're young. Don't settle for this relationship just because she's the only love you've known. First heartbreaks are terribly hard, but you're not going to die without her, if things don't work out. There will be other girls. Just remember that. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[DontBreakEven]

My ex did this to me 4 times over 2 years. The second to last time, we really broke up for like 2 months, but she still kept me hanging on by a thread. Finally, she initiated a meetup and seduced me, stringing me along for about 6 more weeks, saying she loves me she's just "confused".

 

Finally, I said I couldn't take it anymore - she needed to figure it out. So she said, okay let's try this for real, I want to try and be 100%. And she did a 180. She was back all into our relationship. She was talking marriage and babies and the whole nine yards. Moved in with me, got a dog with me, wanted me to propose. I finally got a ring, and surprised her on Vacation over Christmas about 7 months after she decided she wanted to be with me again.

 

10 days later, she moved out, gave me the ring, took our dog, told me she wasn't 100%, and that was that.

 

That's my life now. Don't let it be yours. But you will stay with her until she finally cuts you off for good. You are me, and your girl is my girl. I am sorry.

[DannyCA]

My ex did this to me 4 times over 2 years. The second to last time, we really broke up for like 2 months, but she still kept me hanging on by a thread. Finally, she initiated a meetup and seduced me, stringing me along for about 6 more weeks, saying she loves me she's just "confused".

 

Finally, I said I couldn't take it anymore - she needed to figure it out. So she said, okay let's try this for real, I want to try and be 100%. And she did a 180. She was back all into our relationship. She was talking marriage and babies and the whole nine yards. Moved in with me, got a dog with me, wanted me to propose. I finally got a ring, and surprised her on Vacation over Christmas about 7 months after she decided she wanted to be with me again.

 

10 days later, she moved out, gave me the ring, took our dog, told me she wasn't 100%, and that was that.

 

That's my life now. Don't let it be yours. But you will stay with her until she finally cuts you off for good. You are me, and your girl is my girl. I am sorry.

 

Listen to DontBreakEven, he knows what he is talking about. A story about my ex is this:

 

For the last month of our relationship I could tell something was wrong but she was my first love, and I figured our love was strong enough to endure this weird phase. Look I f'ed up and so did she. We both contributed to the end of our relationship. We even had a serious talk during that month and it seemed like the talk fixed things. That only lasted so long. She left.

 

This is what she is thinking. She is really scared to lose you and I don't doubt she loves you, but the thing is there is a part of her that wants to leave. Her mentality is I love this guy and he has been one of the most important parts of my life from the last five years, but I would rather risk losing him forever than never finding out in full the person I could be. She would rather lose you than lose the opportunity to be the "her" that she could be without you. If that makes sense.

 

So as cynical as I know this sounds, when she leaves again go strict NC right away. Cause she is going to try and keep you in her life without being with you. I fell for my ex's bulls*** games for a year. Don't make that mistake.

[elseaacych]

Drag her to a relationship counsellor, if you really want to get to the bottom of stuff and DO see a future with her. Not because you are unsure and afraid of being unsure. Stagnation does nothing for either of you. If you are unsure as well... you need to be looking out for you and be aware of what YOU need.

 

That being said, maybe you both have outgrown the relationship. Sometimes things like that happen, and things get prolonged because you are each other's first loves. It hurts like a mofo to lose your first love, but after awhile you see it's not the end of the world. I was in the exact same situation as you, but my ex left and hasn't come back. In some ways, life is better.

 

If she wants out, let her go. True love will come back, if it doesn't... well you gave it your best shot. Better a broken boyfriend/girlfriend than a broken marriage.

[DontBreakEven]

Listen to DontBreakEven, he knows what he is talking about. A story about my ex is this:

 

For the last month of our relationship I could tell something was wrong but she was my first love, and I figured our love was strong enough to endure this weird phase. Look I f'ed up and so did she. We both contributed to the end of our relationship. We even had a serious talk during that month and it seemed like the talk fixed things. That only lasted so long. She left.

 

This is what she is thinking. She is really scared to lose you and I don't doubt she loves you, but the thing is there is a part of her that wants to leave. Her mentality is I love this guy and he has been one of the most important parts of my life from the last five years, but I would rather risk losing him forever than never finding out in full the person I could be. She would rather lose you than lose the opportunity to be the "her" that she could be without you. If that makes sense.

 

So as cynical as I know this sounds, when she leaves again go strict NC right away. Cause she is going to try and keep you in her life without being with you. I fell for my ex's bulls*** games for a year. Don't make that mistake.

 

Listen to DannyCA.

 

But in the end, don't beat yourself up. The "her" that she could be without you is not someone you want to be with anyway. Women who do things like this have a very low sense of self and a very high touch of narcissism. Trust me, I know you love her, and I really don't doubt that she loves you too, but she's got issues, and above poster is right, better this than a divorce with kids involved. Never trust your heart with a mind that changes like the weather.

 

Now if I could just let my own advice and preaching sink into my own head ...

[DannyCA]

Listen to DannyCA.

 

But in the end, don't beat yourself up. The "her" that she could be without you is not someone you want to be with anyway. Women who do things like this have a very low sense of self and a very high touch of narcissism. Trust me, I know you love her, and I really don't doubt that she loves you too, but she's got issues, and above poster is right, better this than a divorce with kids involved. Never trust your heart with a mind that changes like the weather.

 

Now if I could just let my own advice and preaching sink into my own head ...

 

Dang I never thought of it like that but it's true. That's a really good observation. Because that whole "I need to find myself" thing or whatever is such crap. It's like why don't you just be honest with me and more importantly yourself.

 

I don't think you should worry about your own advice sinking in, do your thing man, cause you know what you're talking about.

[DontBreakEven]

Dang I never thought of it like that but it's true. That's a really good observation. Because that whole "I need to find myself" thing or whatever is such crap. It's like why don't you just be honest with me and more importantly yourself.

 

I don't think you should worry about your own advice sinking in, do your thing man, cause you know what you're talking about.

 

Danny, I've read your posts, and you are very far along yourself. You have a wonderful grasp on things, a strong sense of your own self, and a very caring heart, I can tell. For your age, it's really quite amazing the insight you have.

 

To both you and OP, I personally find that women like this gravitate towards people like us BECAUSE they are attracted to the qualities they see in us that fit them like a puzzle - because they are qualities they are missing themselves. But it ultimately doesn't work because 2 halves don't make a whole. Or even one whole and one half don't make a whole. The whole "I need to find myself" thing is partly true, because they really don't know themselves at all. Someone who knows themself (people like us) do not treat people we love this way. It is really true that you must love yourself in order to ever really love someone else. This is why it is so confusing ... I truly believe they do love you in their way, but really they are not capable of loving you fully. It frustrates us, it frustrates them, it ultimately cannot work so long as it stays like that.

 

Now, the majority of these women will have no idea the right way to go about finding themselves, and will probably frustrate you even more with the decisions they make after leaving you to "find themselves". Don't take this personally either. They are broken. They might have also used the line "it's not you, it's me". That's really partly true also. Actually it's spot on. It IS them. Perhaps one day they will figure it out. Unfortunately I have only seen it happen once. An ex of mine went through intense therapy after a breakdown a year after we broke up. She is now one of my very best friends. The only ex I am friends with - because she is the only ex I have that has finally risen to my level.

 

It's frustrating because these women definitely have the potential to be what we know they can be. But they have to want to change, and have to even recognize there is a problem in order to even go about changing. I'm still in love with my ex's potential. But she is incapable at this point of living up to it. Sucks, really.

[bluegreen]

Never trust your heart with a mind that changes like the weather.

Exactly I just had to sort of do something similar with "friend" what baffles me is that not only I was never sure does he want something or not poor thing was even more lost and confused then me.

 

Its enough to give you whiplash gray hair from frustration as well.

Leave her to a "professional" with MD behind their Initials ...

[DontBreakEven]

Its enough to give you whiplash gray hair from frustration as well.

Leave her to a "professional" with MD behind their Initials ...

 

One can hope. But how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

 

{None. The light bulb has to want to change itself.}

 

 

And we must make the choice to refuse to have crazy for breakfast anymore.

[bluegreen]

He is young gullible and its 1 serious thing for him we can only gently push pull

and nudge him along. When we get tired and frustrated well..... lets not start thinking of that yet

[Lost And Found]

I recently got back together with my ex girlfriend. The break up period however was only a couple of weeks with limited contact.

 

The problem I currently face, is that something doesn't feel quite right. The love is there, but at times it feels like the spark isn't.

Before our break up, she would always make so much effort to keep conversations flowing because I have always had some trouble in doing this myself.

I find it difficult to know what to talk about with her now, because having been together for 5 years, we pretty much know everything about each other - and new topics of conversation are limited because we are having our finals soon so we're both really busy with work and can't do many activities together, and there isn't much going on that's exciting in our lives right now because of all of this work.

 

I'm not really sure why exactly it is that she doesn't seem to be putting in that effort to keep conversations flowing any more, and sometimes the tone in her voice sounds so casual - where it always used to be 'lovey dovey' (you know what I mean).

That being said, the intimacy is still there, the I love you's, she's planning for us to go on holiday, brings up live together and all that stuff.

 

I just desperately want to get that spark back. Any advice?

[Darren Steez]

I recently got back together with my ex girlfriend. The break up period however was only a couple of weeks with limited contact.

 

The problem I currently face, is that something doesn't feel quite right. The love is there, but at times it feels like the spark isn't.

Before our break up, she would always make so much effort to keep conversations flowing because I have always had some trouble in doing this myself.

I find it difficult to know what to talk about with her now, because having been together for 5 years, we pretty much know everything about each other - and new topics of conversation are limited because we are having our finals soon so we're both really busy with work and can't do many activities together, and there isn't much going on that's exciting in our lives right now because of all of this work.

 

I'm not really sure why exactly it is that she doesn't seem to be putting in that effort to keep conversations flowing any more, and sometimes the tone in her voice sounds so casual - where it always used to be 'lovey dovey' (you know what I mean).

That being said, the intimacy is still there, the I love you's, she's planning for us to go on holiday, brings up live together and all that stuff.

 

I just desperately want to get that spark back. Any advice?

 

Yup break up with her. There.

[paperwings]

To both you and OP, I personally find that women like this gravitate towards people like us BECAUSE they are attracted to the qualities they see in us that fit them like a puzzle - because they are qualities they are missing themselves. But it ultimately doesn't work because 2 halves don't make a whole. Or even one whole and one half don't make a whole. The whole "I need to find myself" thing is partly true, because they really don't know themselves at all. Someone who knows themself (people like us) do not treat people we love this way. It is really true that you must love yourself in order to ever really love someone else. This is why it is so confusing ... I truly believe they do love you in their way, but really they are not capable of loving you fully. It frustrates us, it frustrates them, it ultimately cannot work so long as it stays like that.

 

Now, the majority of these women will have no idea the right way to go about finding themselves, and will probably frustrate you even more with the decisions they make after leaving you to "find themselves". Don't take this personally either. They are broken. They might have also used the line "it's not you, it's me". That's really partly true also. Actually it's spot on. It IS them. Perhaps one day they will figure it out.

 

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but wow. Describes my situation exactly. So well written... it helps to know I'm not alone. Thank you!

[VeronicaRoss]

You know what? This may not be any failing on your part, time and your heart will tell, so let it be for now. You two have been together during the time the most amount of all around growth occurs. It is VERY rare two people survive this time together. In time you will probably simply be thankful that she was in your life, and she let you go. If she is no longer seeing you as her life partner, you don't want to be with someone that unhappy. That doesn't make it easier now.

 

Chances are high there are other girls that see what a great boyfriend you've been over the years and are thrilled you are now single!

 

So for now give yourself a break, you're going through one of the most challenging emotional experiences you'll ever have in your life: the first break up. This is huge. Up there with death of a family member in terms of stress.

 

When my first boyfriend broke up with me I sat on the floor for hours. My mother came over and found me on the floor and brought me to my feet and said, "Let's go shopping!" The happiest words ever for us! That's the level you need to live now. Get lots of hugs from those who love you, let them know you need them. Be moody but do not let this affect your school, you want to impress that next girl! I look back and am so thankful that guy broke up with me, the way things turned out were definitely for the best.

 

Good luck!

[SCJACK]

 

When my first boyfriend broke up with me I sat on the floor for hours. My mother came over and found me on the floor and brought me to my feet and said, "Let's go shopping!" The happiest words ever for us! That's the level you need to live now. Get lots of hugs from those who love you, let them know you need them. Be moody but do not let this affect your school, you want to impress that next girl! I look back and am so thankful that guy broke up with me, the way things turned out were definitely for the best.

 

Good luck!

 

Greatest mother ever

[lolablue17]

Risk management:

 

When you're the one who says goodbye, you hurt a lot less. You control the timing, and your ego doesn't crush. But if you say good bye you lose chance to be with her.

 

what are the chances that she will stay + you will want her? I think not much. Because it seems that she wants to leave but afraid of the unknown. You're not so bad for her and "maybe the next guys wont be as good as you"?

 

So she swings back and forth, and god you're very young so I'd say 80-90% that she will call it off. So, If i were you i'd choose to say goodbye.