HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Basically been seeing a guy and we broke up (I ended it but he didnt really argue!) I believe I may have been a bit confusing to him and vice versa... we are back in contact and he keeps jokingly referring to me being difficult which was what he said when we were together sometimes feels like he wants to have a conversation about it... its probably just pure hope but I am wondering if maybe he wants me to say I still like him... but, of course, everywhere says let the man come to u and u will only inflate his ego by saying anything but I kinda think we are all equals... So my question is... how do u men feel when a woman says she likes u? x 1
Gaeta Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Not a man but I will answer. If he likes you he will be pleased to hear it from you. That being said: liking someone is not enough to make a relationship work. You've got the proof here, you did like each other before and it was not enough. If the reasons why you broke up are still there, why do you think it would work this time around?
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Thanks for your reply.. If Im totally honest I think we probably rushed things x
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 6 weeks but only saw each other for 3 months x I think we both confused each other x
TheNewMe2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 State you feelings. Seriously. I think when you hold back because of generalizations (that may not even be true), you are playing games in the relationship. I'm dating a woman who I very much like. But she's very bottled up with emotions and I'd give anything for her to open and say 'she likes me'. Actions are great - but words are sometimes needed. A real gentleman won't use it as leverage to inflate his ego. Heck, for me, it would make me even try and do more for her and be a little bit more open with how I'm feeling. 2
Silver93 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I think this one is straight forward for me. If a girl told me she liked me and I liked her then I would be delighted and hopefully we could try going out but if I didn't like her then I would try to let her down gently. None of those silly games for me. 3
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 State you feelings. Seriously. I think when you hold back because of generalizations (that may not even be true), you are playing games in the relationship. I'm dating a woman who I very much like. But she's very bottled up with emotions and I'd give anything for her to open and say 'she likes me'. Actions are great - but words are sometimes needed. A real gentleman won't use it as leverage to inflate his ego. Heck, for me, it would make me even try and do more for her and be a little bit more open with how I'm feeling. Yea I was bottled up too. I dont know how to word it tho without sounding heavy and def need to leave the door open so I can quickly back peddle if it all goes pear shaped lol x What would u really like your girl to say to u? x
HappyLove Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 So you broke up with him but now are hoping he likes you? Seems like you two have a lot to figure out more so than you just saying you like him. He has every right to be confused by you from what you've stated. I wouldn't tell him you like him. Yes some men do run or just use it as a ego boost after a woman tells him that. If you're looking to have another go at the relationship you should mention it to him see how he feels about that. 1
Gaeta Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 6 weeks but only saw each other for 3 months x I think we both confused each other x Do you know why you confused each other? and do you know how to fix it? If you don't then you're just going to repeat the same mistake over.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Yea he is right to be confused I would be too.. I have no idea how to go about fixing this but I definitely dont want to make things heavy just keep it lighthearted but get my point across x
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Im gonna get slated for this but here goes... I bailed cos I wasnt sure he was interested enough it backfired (its even worse than that i was trying to get him to up his game.. yes it was a stupid, immature thing to do and I wont do it again!), lesson learnt!... he now thinks Im difficult... I deserve it I know but Id not long come out of a LTR BU and I wanted to be sure I wasnt investing in something that would only get me hurt again x
Gaeta Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Im gonna get slated for this but here goes... I bailed cos I wasnt sure he was interested enough it backfired (its even worse than that i was trying to get him to up his game.. yes it was a stupid, immature thing to do and I wont do it again!), lesson learnt!... he now thinks Im difficult... I deserve it I know but Id not long come out of a LTR BU and I wanted to be sure I wasnt investing in something that would only get me hurt again x Before saying you did something stupid lets look at it. Why did you feel he needed to step up his game? You dated 3 months, a guy should know what he wants with you after 3 months. Maybe you were right to feel he was half heart in your relationship.
TheNewMe2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 don't worry about backpeddling. Say what you feel - it's better than not saying anything. If he likes you as well..then he'll work with what you tell him. But not saying anything will get you no where. Again, with me - I can handle anything she says, because I like her. What it almost sounds like is you are worried you are going to scare him off. A legitimate concern and maybe couch how you say something. But be honest. Trust me, we guys aren't all that different than you. We like knowing we are needed or our company is desired. Your in this weird game you need to get out of.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Because I felt he was trying to tell me what to do (he raised concerns about me going out a lot and drinking a lot but he wasnt in a relationship with me... Id been in a RS for 3 years and I just wanted to have some fun (no other men but socialising a lot and drinking a lot but thats what single people do!) it got my back up a bit and I asked if he wanted to make things official (that was really hard for me) he asked if he could have a couple of days to think (because of the same concerns he had raised) I told him things would be different if i was in a RS but at the moment Im a single person then I bailed because it took so much for me to say about making things official to be told he needs to think kinda smashed me and I ran away like a child :-( x
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Your in this weird game you need to get out of. - I couldnt have put that better myself! x
Gaeta Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Here's my advice. Ask for a conversation with him, go grab a coffee somewhere together, tell him you were wrong for blowing him off when he asked for a couple of days to think about exclusivity. Put your cards on the table. You both have children, you both were involved in each other's life, If you are adults then handle this like adults. STOP these dating games of who contacts who first! Stop the mirroring him in his communication!! If you mirror each other then where will you go? Nowhere!
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Here's my advice. Ask for a conversation with him, go grab a coffee somewhere together, tell him you were wrong for blowing him off when he asked for a couple of days to think about exclusivity. Put your cards on the table. You both have children, you both were involved in each other's life, If you are adults then handle this like adults. STOP these dating games of who contacts who first! Stop the mirroring him in his communication!! If you mirror each other then where will you go? Nowhere! Yes u are right just not looking forward to feeling sh*t for a while if it all goes wrong x
Erick The Great Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 State you feelings. Seriously. I think when you hold back because of generalizations (that may not even be true), you are playing games in the relationship. I'm dating a woman who I very much like. But she's very bottled up with emotions and I'd give anything for her to open and say 'she likes me'. Actions are great - but words are sometimes needed. A real gentleman won't use it as leverage to inflate his ego. Heck, for me, it would make me even try and do more for her and be a little bit more open with how I'm feeling. I completely agree with that TheNewMe is saying. Sometimes you gotta just be real with someone and tell them how you feel. No games. They will either be pleasantly surprised by it or hate it, but either way, it will the truth and both parties can move forward in the right direction.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 I'm gonna do it later eeek. I hope u guys will be ready to counsel me when it all goes wrong!! lol x I'll be over in the 'coping' section ha ha x
Silver93 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I'm gonna do it later eeek. I hope u guys will be ready to counsel me when it all goes wrong!! lol x I'll be over in the 'coping' section ha ha x Fair play to you, good luck and I hope it goes well for you.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Fair play to you, good luck and I hope it goes well for you. No.. If Im doing it then so are u!! lol x 1
Silver93 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 No.. If Im doing it then so are u!! lol x Hahahaha I think you are a bit more brave than me.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Hahahaha I think you are a bit more brave than me. .. I dont think I can actually do it! x
Silver93 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 .. I dont think I can actually do it! x Yes you can! Has he given you any hints? Whats the story? 1
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