Bunso Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 So I recently had a dream of reaching out to my ex and I'm wondering if that's a good idea. I was a bad bf to her and we were together for 4 years, she left me for someone else a little over two years ago and we haven't spoken for close to 2 years. I just feel like telling her I'm sorry for being such a bad bf and I also want to thank her for helping shape who I am today. Now is this a bad idea or a good one? If it is a good one how would I go about it? Should i ask her to meet in person through Facebook, should I call her, write a letter etc... Or should I just leave it all in the past? (I figured it would be cool not to have bad blood between us) Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) So I recently had a dream of reaching out to my ex and I'm wondering if that's a good idea. I was a bad bf to her and we were together for 4 years, she left me for someone else a little over two years ago and we haven't spoken for close to 2 years. I just feel like telling her I'm sorry for being such a bad bf and I also want to thank her for helping shape who I am today. Now is this a bad idea or a good one? If it is a good one how would I go about it? Should i ask her to meet in person through Facebook, should I call her, write a letter etc... Or should I just leave it all in the past? (I figured it would be cool not to have bad blood between us) Thanks in advance! This is a tough call. Generally, regardless of your intent, people view this as an attempt to reestablish a relationship. Edited March 31, 2014 by M30USA Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bunso Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 That's what I don't want. She probably doesn't even wanna hear from me at all since she was the one who stopped talking to me. Link to post Share on other sites
maturityassets Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 sometimes its best not to. Saying to yourself that you've changed doesn't require for you to thank someone. There are times I have dreams of my ex but we are just friends in my dreams and it would be I guess cool to talk to her as different people but I guess I usually just figure it's best to us live our own lives. Its up to you though. If you don't care as to how she would interpret the interaction then you could do so, its not like you plan on being with her again. But if you don't think its worth the maybe awkward interaction then don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bunso Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 I suppose you are right, I do wish to speak to her again. Afterall we were best friends at some point and time, it sucks to have it end the way it did. Which is why I wanted to reach out to her but it's probably best if I didn't. She is probably still with that guy she left me for and that wouldn't turn into a good scenario haha Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I don't think you need to call and let her know you were a bad bf, she knows that. a dream doesn't mean you have to act on anything, and after this amount of time it'd be pointless to enter her life again. why would she care if you changed? it's good enough to know that yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bunso Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 Someone once told me "it's never too late to rectify your wrongs", I would be apologizing to clear my conscience. Meaning I would've done it for myself not for her. That being said, I don't think she would've cared that I changed but possibly be thankful I was finally able to set pride aside and man up to apologize for all the wrong I did her. I'm 23 and she was my first gf so I'm not experienced with dealing in situations like these and I'm seeking guidance to make the correct decision is all. Dreams don't mean I have to act on them but reaching out to her arising in my mind and just wanted some opinions before acting on impulse. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 write it all down to her in a letter that you don't mail. people say that stuff, about righting wrongs, but they probably don't consider the impact it has on others. like you said, it's for yourself, so it's kinda selfish. the other person has more than likely moved on and forgotten it and it serves little purpose to bring it up again imo. some people might like an apology years later but there are others who would be upset by it, because they don't want to revisit the past. just handle it yourself, imo, and do right by the next girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bunso Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 It is selfish because it is for me. I will write the letter as I feel that might help. I also hadn't thought about the impact it would've had on her and now it just seems unfair to put her in that situation. So I guess I have what I needed. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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