mobius Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I have known this girl for past 1 year and we have been seriously involved for last 3 months. A couple of weeks into our relationship she asked me whether I have had sex before and though I did not want to discuss this topic , tried to avoid it. She persisted and I mentioned this girl I was casually involved with and with whom I had slept a couple of times. I asked about her past and she mentioned that she had this bf with whom she had oral sex and had given him a bj sometime. She also mentioned that his penis was considerably bigger than mine. Ever since I have lost faith in this relationship as I keep getting nightmares about her and him. I have not been able to have sex because of this comment on my penis size. I discussed this matter with her and told her what I felt about it. We tried to sort this out but even now I have this horrible feeling inside me about him and her. She said she has not been in touch with him since but somehow I have not been able to forget this. I love her but I want to break up with her because of this. I know I am exhibiting double standards but I find it impossible to keep this relationship going. Kindly advise on what I should do?? Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 sounds like a stupid girl. i mean, sure, points for honesty and all that crap, but there was no reason to mention his penis was bigger... maybe you should mention that perhaps it's not that his was bigger, it's just that maybe she was a bit tighter at the time than she is now. or maybe mention that your past girlfriend's boobs were bigger, or she had nicer hair, her breath smelled better. or that your ex-girlfriend possessed the most important thing of all that your new girl doesn't have...and that's a little thing called TACT. Link to post Share on other sites
imokurnot Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 If she doesn't know that would haunt you and the relationship forever, she is an idiot. Move on because she will do this in all aspects of the relationship. Compare and contrast everything thoroughout life. Money, house etc. She will be an anchor that drags some poor guy down for a long time. Just don't let that be you........... Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 OMG, I can't believe she made the penis size comment. I never had that problem myself, haha. Maybe you should say, "i no longer love my last girlfriend, but her azz was a lot nicer to look at than your's cellulite ridden house sized can" Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 It could have been a mis-step. Some girls really do have a filter problem. My g/f one made a comment like that (*cough* but it was her ex who got the short end of the comment) and it irritated me because it was unecessary and pointlessly b*****y. It also wasn't intended to harm him, so I let it go. I would definately NOT talk to her about it (girls with filter problems tend to air their laundry with others), give yourself a couple weeks to make sure you are giving her the absolute best stuff you can. Chances are you can make her forget about the other guy. But, if it still makes you feel this way with her, then I'd dump her since what's the point of dating someone who makes you feel bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mobius Posted January 31, 2005 Author Share Posted January 31, 2005 Thanks a lot for your responses. I have been so troubled over the past few days thinking whether I am exhibiting double standards but feel much better now. I did call of the relationship because I knew I was not comfortable. not that I am feeling better now but hey what the hell I have to endure some moments of pain rather than a lifetime of pain. Thanks a lot! Wish she had, as you rightly said, some TACT but these small things matter so much. She was a nice girl but then I would have required some surgery to erase that remark for our relationship to be normal. Link to post Share on other sites
kanga Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 I think you did the right thing by breaking up. I don't know how old she is, so it could something she wasn't aware of, but I think most women know that making a disparaging remark about something a guy holds sacred is one of the worst things that can be said. I could be wrong, but I think it IS the worst thing that can be said. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 I have birth defect myself that isn't that noticeable, but my ex-fiance said something about how we shouldn't have have children because of the risks involved due to my defect. It really hurt me that she wasn't able to look past that, since first of all, we all have some sort of defect, whether physically or mentally. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I have birth defect myself that isn't that noticeable, but my ex-fiance said something about how we shouldn't have have children because of the risks involved due to my defect. It really hurt me that she wasn't able to look past that, since first of all, we all have some sort of defect, whether physically or mentally. he doesn't have a birth defect. the only defective thing is his lame-ass girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
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