Author Wordguy Posted March 6, 2005 Author Share Posted March 6, 2005 How can you be so sure on her perspective and how our friendship would be? Are you speaking from experience? So you know, my ex and I did not have an abusive relationship prior to this. In fact, we were best friends and lovers. I honestly think she and I will speak again one day. But it will have to come from her. I've done and said all I can. I know recovery from abusivenes takes a long time and I'll have to work at it for a long time. Most woman I've spoken to about this say that they usually would have come back since it was our first fight and planning on marriage. Many of them had a '2 strike policy'. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Originally posted by Wordguy How can you be so sure on her perspective and how our friendship would be? Are you speaking from experience? So you know, my ex and I did not have an abusive relationship prior to this. In fact, we were best friends and lovers. I honestly think she and I will speak again one day. But it will have to come from her. I've done and said all I can. I know recovery from abusivenes takes a long time and I'll have to work at it for a long time. Most woman I've spoken to about this say that they usually would have come back since it was our first fight and planning on marriage. Many of them had a '2 strike policy'. Yeah well I kept returning to my a**h*** ex and he kept being OK for a while and then something would happen to make him snap and he would start smacking me around again. Yeah. 2 strikes policies are for idiots. Never again. I will NEVER allow myself to even RISK being hit by a man EVER again. You can bet money on it. The first time ANYONE ever raising their hand to me again will be the last time they see my face. And that's how women who respect themselves are. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Never again. I will NEVER allow myself to even RISK being hit by a man EVER again. You can bet money on it. The first time ANYONE ever raising their hand to me again will be the last time they see my face. And that's how women who respect themselves are. You are no better than anyone else sweetheart. You learnt the lesson, that is all. Don't make it mean that you somehow know all Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by Kat You are no better than anyone else sweetheart. You learnt the lesson, that is all. Don't make it mean that you somehow know all Don't sweetheart me. How exactly does my post indicate that I think I "know all"? I don't see how I said in any ways that I was better than anyone else. Please explain, use specifics. Link to post Share on other sites
luvshckbby Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Don't you guys even worry that these abusive losers already have new girls because I can guarantee that she will have to endure all the same $hit that you both did. Just feel lucky that it is over and you don't have to deal with it anymore Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 I believe it is possible to make the changes, but you may still have to live with the consquences of your actions. I heard the same routine as everyone else. That whole cycle of an explosion (verbal, sexual, physical), then the I'm so sorry please forgive me, it won't happen again. I am tired, stressed...., then things would be ok again, only to have the same thing start all over again. It went on for ten years. Before that he was abusive to his first wife. She thought he changed and they got back together breifly. He hadn't. She left. During the time that he was so heartbroken over me leaving, he moved another woman into the home he told the courts he had built for me and our children. He even allowed her to redecorate the whole house. I hope that you have changed, that you can build a new life. Just realize....its unlikely that it will be with her. My personal opinion is that the things that cause and trigger abusive behavior are so well learned that they are difficult to overcome. Often those behaviors are formed by childhood experiences. That means its a lifetime learned response. Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 WordGuy on average a woman will leave seven times before she stays gone for good. The sad part of that is that usually the abuse gets worse each time. Often times women do not live beyond the seventh time. For me once I left I was G-O-N-E. (but I put up with it for a long time) Originally posted by blind_otter Yeah well I kept returning to my a**h*** ex and he kept being OK for a while and then something would happen to make him snap and he would start smacking me around again. Yeah. 2 strikes policies are for idiots. Never again. I will NEVER allow myself to even RISK being hit by a man EVER again. You can bet money on it. The first time ANYONE ever raising their hand to me again will be the last time they see my face. And that's how women who respect themselves are. Good for you!! Originally posted by Kat You are no better than anyone else sweetheart. You learnt the lesson, that is all. Don't make it mean that you somehow know all Kat, I think you are overreacting. Learning the lesson is a huge part of the battle. Remembering the lesson is the next step. She may not "know it all" for your situation or anyone elses, but she does for hers, and WordGuy asked for personal experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
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