Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 This guy is trolling. Good God, how did none of us catch this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Well yeah.. It's an easy place to vent. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 This guy is trolling. Good God, how did none of us catch this. Kali and I did think he was trolling, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. But at least we were all able to get together and have a nice convo. Oh well 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 I am not trolling!! If anyone is from the UK I will happily give them my number and I will send pictures and information that has backed up everything I have said. I understand I need to move on, there is just so much that I need to say. I do honestly think she will want to be back with me but it will be in the future ... a long time away. I think it's benificial for her to date others and see how she finds those relationships and if she finds a long term partner that is more suitable for her then great I will be over her by then anyway. I just don't think I'll be able to move on until I have told her everything on my chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Do what you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 I now just want the pain to stop and move on. So I'm fully ready for no contact. It is just will a few weeks down the line will I regret not telling her everything I needed to? But if I go over and chat for an hour will that make me feel much worse if she is unresponsive but then again if she seems even abit responsive I'll pick up on that the wrong way. Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 You're gonna crash and burn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 You know that if you talk to her, either way, it'll just hurt you more. We don't how you'll feel in a few weeks' time. You'll go through different emotions. One moment, you may be in complete acceptance; the next, desperately sad. You'll swing back and forth. At least you know that you can expect that this might happen. Just don't talk to her. Your breakup is still fresh. In a few weeks, you'll probably realize that you don't really need to get all that stuff off of your chest after all, because it'll already by off... and you didn't even need to say anything to her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Don't feed the troll! ATP: Asks question #1 Us: Gives thoughts answers ATP: "I understand", asks question #1 again. Rinse and repeat. Its getting a little boring. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Don't feed the troll! ATP: Asks question #1 Us: Gives thoughts answers ATP: "I understand", asks question #1 again. Rinse and repeat. Its getting a little boring. Agreed. I'm done responding and giving advice only to get him to ask the same questions again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
noob_saibot Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 This is awful, truly awful. Why are you encouraging someone to behave in such a way that will destroy someone else emotionally?? There is nothing loving about this. Why would someone who is on the receiving end of purposeful hurtful actions want to be with the person who engages in those actions? Nobody who respects themselves would. ahthepain, if you truly care for this girl, let her be. And if you don't truly care for her, let her be. im not saying anyone would want to do this. im saying that theres other ways to open her eyes. i think that the op should be included in the decision for a breakup. not just one half of the couple. but his ex is clearly taking advantage of him. n i think its fair that she sees or feels half of what shes putting him through. they do not have to reconcile. but emotional abuse is much worse than physical n she has to be aware of how shes hurting him weather she wants him or not. n i think its a goid idea that they talk n get it figured out n they questions he needs to know answrred so he can move on or in the future if they decide to give it round two hell know what not to do in their next relationship. best of luck to op. just advice. ive been there dont that n im back with my ex wat i thought would never happen n even the im scared im happier than ever up to yu op. member. do what your instinct tells you. it will lead yu the right way. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 im not saying anyone would want to do this. im saying that theres other ways to open her eyes. i think that the op should be included in the decision for a breakup. not just one half of the couple. but his ex is clearly taking advantage of him. n i think its fair that she sees or feels half of what shes putting him through. they do not have to reconcile. but emotional abuse is much worse than physical n she has to be aware of how shes hurting him weather she wants him or not. n i think its a goid idea that they talk n get it figured out n they questions he needs to know answrred so he can move on or in the future if they decide to give it round two hell know what not to do in their next relationship. best of luck to op. just advice. ive been there dont that n im back with my ex wat i thought would never happen n even the im scared im happier than ever up to yu op. member. do what your instinct tells you. it will lead yu the right way. Life does not work like this. If one person wants to break up, the couple breaks up. End of story. You cannot force someone to be in a relationship with you just because you don't agree with the break up. That's absolutely ridiculous. If you truly think this way, you have a big and very painful life lesson coming your way soon. Link to post Share on other sites
noob_saibot Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Life does not work like this. If one person wants to break up, the couple breaks up. End of story. You cannot force someone to be in a relationship with you just because you don't agree with the break up. That's absolutely ridiculous. If you truly think this way, you have a big and very painful life lesson coming your way soon. thats ridiculous. everyone deserves some type of closeur. i dont agree that you should just walk away from 3 years. i fought hard n took a lot of shots to the heart. went through hell n back n now i am back with the love of my life. im not saying op has to do the same. but they both need to come to a mutual understanding n they both need to be in eachothers shoes before they can move on or reconcile.or one member will be stuck with the question why or what if forever n it will eat him or her alive. i dont care if people think im wrong. im just giving him option number two. you really love her op. dont give up. n if she is the one. you will be with her. its inevitable Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 thats ridiculous. everyone deserves some type of closeur. i dont agree that you should just walk away from 3 years. i fought hard n took a lot of shots to the heart. went through hell n back n now i am back with the love of my life. im not saying op has to do the same. but they both need to come to a mutual understanding n they both need to be in eachothers shoes before they can move on or reconcile.or one member will be stuck with the question why or what if forever n it will eat him or her alive. i dont care if people think im wrong. im just giving him option number two. you really love her op. dont give up. n if she is the one. you will be with her. its inevitable And how do you suggest he goes about forcing his ex to be with him, or to say the things he wants her to say? He can't. He has no say in the break up. She doesn't want him so she doesn't have to be with him. Sure it sucks but that's life. Closure is a myth. Someone else cannot give you closure, you have to give it to yourself. OP's ex doesn't owe him anything at all. She's not his girlfriend anymore. If she WANTS to give him an explanation, great. If not, that's her prerogative. You can't hold a gun to someone's head and force them to be with you. Well you could, but it would be illegal and you'd end up in jail. Link to post Share on other sites
noob_saibot Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 And how do you suggest he goes about forcing his ex to be with him, or to say the things he wants her to say? He can't. He has no say in the break up. She doesn't want him so she doesn't have to be with him. Sure it sucks but that's life. Closure is a myth. Someone else cannot give you closure, you have to give it to yourself. OP's ex doesn't owe him anything at all. She's not his girlfriend anymore. If she WANTS to give him an explanation, great. If not, that's her prerogative. You can't hold a gun to someone's head and force them to be with you. Well you could, but it would be illegal and you'd end up in jail. no one said anything about forcing anyone to be with anyone. im simply saying that closer is not a myth n if op wants to try n talk to her he should be allowed. weather its to be on good terms. get his stuff back or get stuff off his chest. maybe YOU didnt get the closeur you needed n thats why you are so against it.just because ppl breakup doesnt meant you have to hate eachother n not talk everagain. let the op make his decisions. im here giving him advice on optiin two. if he wants to walk away with nothing thats fine. if he wants to talk about stuff let him. no one wants to lose someone they love. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 no one said anything about forcing anyone to be with anyone. im simply saying that closer is not a myth n if op wants to try n talk to her he should be allowed. weather its to be on good terms. get his stuff back or get stuff off his chest. maybe YOU didnt get the closeur you needed n thats why you are so against it.just because ppl breakup doesnt meant you have to hate eachother n not talk everagain. let the op make his decisions. im here giving him advice on optiin two. if he wants to walk away with nothing thats fine. if he wants to talk about stuff let him. no one wants to lose someone they love. Apologies if English is not your first language but I'm having a lot of trouble reading your post. If English is your first language..yikes. Nobody here can 'let him' or not 'let him' do anything. He came here looking for advice and lots of us have given it. You are entitled to your opinion but in 99.9% of cases, you are completely wrong and you're going to end up getting people way more hurt than they have to be. Link to post Share on other sites
noob_saibot Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Apologies if English is not your first language but I'm having a lot of trouble reading your post. If English is your first language..yikes. Nobody here can 'let him' or not 'let him' do anything. He came here looking for advice and lots of us have given it. You are entitled to your opinion but in 99.9% of cases, you are completely wrong and you're going to end up getting people way more hurt than they have to be. well i dont see anything wrong with closeur. talking . doing what he needs to do to help him move on or to renconcile. but nothings impossible. if hes happy with giving up good for him. if he wants to try work it out. best of luck. ppl reconcile all the time . n if his ex is to stuck up to evn talk to the guy. well then maybe its for the best. n my typings poor because my cellphone it small n crappy n not all the keys work properly Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Not sure if he reads here anymore, but I say for most people. The first breakup is the worst. I would honestly (no sarcasm) suggest you go speak to her and get some closure. Don't get your hopes up, like you said you're going there to get an explanation right? Go do it. Whatever happens happen. If you choose to stay calm and listen to her talk great, if you guys don't even talk and just grab your stuff and get kicked out, that's still ok. If you also cry and beg and breakdown in front of her, that's also ok. Either way - do whatever you think works for you and come back from that experience and this will let you know what you can do in your following relationship. I wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Thank you again, I have text her tonight around 4 hours ago if I could go over to drop her stuff off and for a drink and chat and she hasn't even replied Should I text her again or wait until she texts back? She said on the phone yesterday she was fine with a final chat. I just want to know why a girl who said she loved me while i slept next to her broke up with me after she woke up the next morning. It;s like I'm in some twisted nightmare. Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 n if his ex is to stuck up to evn talk to the guy. It's not abut being stuck up at all. She simply does not owe him anything. There is no such thing as closure. At the end of the day a failed relationship is a failed relationship. Closure isn't the magic pill to make your dreams and worries go away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 It's not abut being stuck up at all. She simply does not owe him anything. There is no such thing as closure. At the end of the day a failed relationship is a failed relationship. Closure isn't the magic pill to make your dreams and worries go away. Exactly..and an EX doesn't owe you anything. They don't owe you the chance to talk after the break up. It doesn't take two people to end a relationship, it only takes one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Thank you again, I have text her tonight around 4 hours ago if I could go over to drop her stuff off and for a drink and chat and she hasn't even replied Should I text her again or wait until she texts back? She said on the phone yesterday she was fine with a final chat. I just want to know why a girl who said she loved me while i slept next to her broke up with me after she woke up the next morning. It;s like I'm in some twisted nightmare. No, don't text her again unless you want her to think you're pathetic. Sorry to have to say this, but we all told you this would happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Well I was about to go round to her place tonight in a crying state to see if she would let me sleep next to her. In the end I just cried infront of my Mum and that made me feel a little better. I feel so lonely. She was my best friend. I don't think I miss her so much as my gf but as my best friend. I have noone else apart from her. We did everything together so now I can't do anything without her. I feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Well I was about to go round to her place tonight in a crying state to see if she would let me sleep next to her. In the end I just cried infront of my Mum and that made me feel a little better. I feel so lonely. She was my best friend. I don't think I miss her so much as my gf but as my best friend. I have noone else apart from her. We did everything together so now I can't do anything without her. I feel that way. That's a joke, right? You wouldn't really have done that would you? That's horrendous. You need to go make some new friends. People come in and out of our lives all the time..that's just life, especially at your age. Of course you can do things without her..she's not the only person on the planet. You could try doing things by yourself too..I actually like going to dinner and a movie alone once in a while. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Dude are you here to take in advice or cry and be pathetic? Your not even acknowledging the things you're doing wrong 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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