redbaron005 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I'm not too fussed about her feelings at the moment. I care about mine. Hey OP. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and clear you mind for a second. Now read your words above out loud to yourself, slowly and carefully. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 Once again thank you all for your replies. She text me before she went to sleep last night and I text her this morning before she left for work with a nice message and how much I missed her. I know I have to move on, but her saying she is happy to see a relationship councilor in a couple of weeks to help me get closure and to text or call when I want makes it so hard. I deleted her off FB but noticed she changed her profile picture. It's just her but she looks amazing. I always thought she was beautiful but now she looks the best women out there. Is it normal to view your ex as the most beautiful women in the world after they leave you? I mean it's so strange. In my mind she really really is. No matter how hard I try to kid myself or look at old bad pictures she still is. Will that go with time? Are there anyways to make it stop? My mind just keeps that thin slither of hope alive. All I think about is one grand romantic gesture that will win her back Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Once again thank you all for your replies. She text me before she went to sleep last night and I text her this morning before she left for work with a nice message and how much I missed her. I know I have to move on, but her saying she is happy to see a relationship councilor in a couple of weeks to help me get closure and to text or call when I want makes it so hard. I deleted her off FB but noticed she changed her profile picture. It's just her but she looks amazing. I always thought she was beautiful but now she looks the best women out there. Is it normal to view your ex as the most beautiful women in the world after they leave you? I mean it's so strange. In my mind she really really is. No matter how hard I try to kid myself or look at old bad pictures she still is. Will that go with time? Are there anyways to make it stop? My mind just keeps that thin slither of hope alive. All I think about is one grand romantic gesture that will win her back your stubbornness makes me smile. not in a bad way.. i really think you are a nice sweet guy and you deserve better. keep doing what you think its best for you ( as you are ignoring almost everything we are suggesting you ) and im sure once you have touched the very bottom you will realize how many mistakes you are making and maybe start to do the opposite. I know some people ( me included ) needs to crash their face more than once to that wall before to change 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Once again thank you all for your replies. She text me before she went to sleep last night and I text her this morning before she left for work with a nice message and how much I missed her. I know I have to move on, but her saying she is happy to see a relationship councilor in a couple of weeks to help me get closure and to text or call when I want makes it so hard. I deleted her off FB but noticed she changed her profile picture. It's just her but she looks amazing. I always thought she was beautiful but now she looks the best women out there. Is it normal to view your ex as the most beautiful women in the world after they leave you? I mean it's so strange. In my mind she really really is. No matter how hard I try to kid myself or look at old bad pictures she still is. Will that go with time? Are there anyways to make it stop? My mind just keeps that thin slither of hope alive. All I think about is one grand romantic gesture that will win her back You did what ? Just stop please STOP for the love of GOD. SLAP yourself twice and start NC already. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 My greatest regret is spending all that time on such regrets. Like me you will gain perspective in time. Meantimes you are feeding an aspect of yourself, the needy regret, that will only give you pain. OP, listen to this advice. I talked to my ex for months and tried to get him back. I can't get those days back. Don't waste your time in someone who doesn't want to be with you. Don't go to the relationship counselor. Go NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Once again thank you all for your replies. I know I have to move on, but her saying she is happy to see a relationship councilor in a couple of weeks to help me get closure and to text or call when I want makes it so hard. How does her saying she's happy to see a relationship counselor give you closure? If anything, it just gives you hope. Notice how you said "I know I have to move on BUT..." You know on some level that her saying she'd go see the counselor isn't going to help you. She said you can text or call when you want, but it doesn't mean you have to do it. You're not doing anything that's helping you move forward. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Go with her and see the counselor, I think she misses you too. If it gives you a chance to reignite that flame and passion, why not do it? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Once again thank you all for your replies. She text me before she went to sleep last night and I text her this morning before she left for work with a nice message and how much I missed her. I know I have to move on, but her saying she is happy to see a relationship councilor in a couple of weeks to help me get closure and to text or call when I want makes it so hard. I deleted her off FB but noticed she changed her profile picture. It's just her but she looks amazing. I always thought she was beautiful but now she looks the best women out there. Is it normal to view your ex as the most beautiful women in the world after they leave you? I mean it's so strange. In my mind she really really is. No matter how hard I try to kid myself or look at old bad pictures she still is. Will that go with time? Are there anyways to make it stop? My mind just keeps that thin slither of hope alive. All I think about is one grand romantic gesture that will win her back She says she will go to the relationship counselor to help you get closure so you can find peace with the end of your relationship, NOT to get back together with you. How does that give you hope? You're still begging and she's still saying no. Every time you send a text like that you're pushing her further and further away and making yourself look more and more pathetic. It's not nice, it's not sweet, it's irritating to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Go with her and see the counselor, I think she misses you too. If it gives you a chance to reignite that flame and passion, why not do it? I don't agree at all. She has stated over and over that she is done. The sooner the OP begins to accept that, the better it will be for him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Go with her and see the counselor, I think she misses you too. If it gives you a chance to reignite that flame and passion, why not do it? Is there a dislike button? Sas, did you miss the part about her saying she would only go to the counselor to give him closure? It sounds more like she wants him to leave her alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 I think sasuki was taking the p**s. Well I got everything off my chest, exhausted all options of getting her back so now I can go NC knowing that I had tried everything which will feel better for me while trying to maintain NC in the long run I think. I think sending her that text saying how much i miss her wasn't a bad thing because now when I don't contact her again it will hit her harder than if she thinks I just accepted it. She knows I fought for her and if in the future she thinks again about the good times and wishes for that same person to show her all the attention I did she will remember me as I was, not someone who just lay down and took it. So NC begins and I shall drop her possessions off with a neighbor. She won't be expecting me to not fix up the relationship meeting and certainly not expecting me to avoid her in relation to dropping her stuff off. Thank you again for all the advice, no matter how much it looked like I was ignoring it or repeating it, I was very grateful to all of your comments and this would have been alot harder without you. I will keep you updated on my progress and if she contacts what she says so I can get some advice and such. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasukie Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 @Kali: Not sure if you noticed, but for 18 pgs we've said the same thing and we're still here. So I think why not go all out? I think plan something really big and surprise her. If she's the one for you, don't let her go. You just need another chance from her so make sure she knows it. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Unless your ex comes back saying that she misses you and loves you and wants you back, the advice will always be the same. Stay NC. Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Go with her and see the counselor, I think she misses you too. If it gives you a chance to reignite that flame and passion, why not do it? Ahthepain what do you think about seeing the counselor on your own a time or two before she comes with you? Do you think that might make you more prepared and comfortable when you possibly go in with her in a few weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
Fearful Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I think th OP has a problem which no body here knows. Worst, he himself don't even know his problem. I can't imagine a normal person forcing love or friendship on another person who doesn't want his/her love or friendship. The OP early stated their mutual friend confided in him that his girl friend expressed no emotion even when her own mom was dying. Why do you want such a person as friend? OP, please finds out why do you allow your entire life revolves around one person? What goals and aspiration do you have for your life? What is the purpose of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 UPDATE : I have now been doing no contact for a whole week and feel better although now I am gambling again (maybe that is why). Potential will lose all my money this afternoon on one bet but what the hell. She has text me twice asking when I am bringing her stuff over. Once just now saying - "Are you going to give me my things back or just ignore me?" Now all I have is a cheap jumper and a pair of jeans and a rubbish bmx that she will never use. Considering I let her keep all of the things I lent her and over £1000 I'm surprised she really wants them that badly. What is your guys view? How do I handle this? I havn't text back so far. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Are you aware of the dire consequences that will come with losing all of your money? You seem to care a lot more about how to handle her texts than caring about your entire life. Do you find this troubling at all? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 UPDATE : I have now been doing no contact for a whole week and feel better although now I am gambling again (maybe that is why). Potential will lose all my money this afternoon on one bet but what the hell. She has text me twice asking when I am bringing her stuff over. Once just now saying - "Are you going to give me my things back or just ignore me?" Now all I have is a cheap jumper and a pair of jeans and a rubbish bmx that she will never use. Considering I let her keep all of the things I lent her and over £1000 I'm surprised she really wants them that badly. What is your guys view? How do I handle this? I havn't text back so far. You can't blame your ex for your gambling addiction. That's on you. Drop her stuff off at her neighbors and be done with it. It seems like you're only holding onto it so she will keep contacting you. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 If it is her stuff, the right thing to do is to return in. Can a friend drop it off? Can you leave it outside of her house and have her get it? Just make it simple and quick. It's not breaking NC to exchange things because it must be done. This is say to give the stuff back quickly after the breakup because it gets weird later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Well she said she was in at 10 tonight so like a fool I got myself showered and looking all good. Drove over and she wasn't there. Then she said she was still at a friends having dinner with her and her Dad. She said I could leave the stuff by the door but I said I don't want it getting stolen (me wanting to see her properly). So I left the bike but said I'll meet up with her during the week to drop one bag off ... she knew my plan. I feel so bad. I had gone a whole week with NC and felt really good about it, then she texts me making me think well hold up maybe she is missing me. Then she uses her power to leave me high and dry and make me feel **** again. I mean come on? She must have known ... Well The problem is everytime I go to see her I get my hopes up that after a few drinks and a great chat something will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 You gave her the power. Reclaim it. You're doing this to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahthepain Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I was doing so well Now I've been texting her to fix up when to meet up. I just want another drink and to see her again and to chat like old times ( Damit! Link to post Share on other sites
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