iris219 Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 You can have a preference without being judgmental about it. I prefer to date college graduates. I don't think people without college degrees are stupid or lazy, but I am more likely to be compatible with a man who is college educated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 You can have a preference without being judgmental about it. I prefer to date college graduates. I don't think people without college degrees are stupid or lazy, but I am more likely to be compatible with a man who is college educated. I think most people have preferences without being judgmental, but there are something where people no matter how non judgmental they are will have some reaction. The woman that has done a gangbang for example. How many men you know would be non judgmental about a woman having numerous men inside her in a short time? The thing about "judgments" is they are based in reality. We all have an opinion on things and sometimes we say it and sometimes we keep them to ourselves. The whole slut shaming thing I never heard of it until I got on LS. In my life I heard slut more from women than I did men and the men that said it about women well those women far exceeded "normal" promiscuity. Gangbangs, giving BJs to more than one guy at one time, sleeping with family members, etc are those thing in addition bringing drama to these situations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 They become judgments when you're rude or snide, about a person's circumstances that dint align with your preferences. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 It's amazing how many people make judgments about me because I prefer women that are slim and busty. I'm always judged about that. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I have a preference to date men without children. I'm only 24 and I don't see that as an excessively selective requirement. But people think I am making personal judgments. The thing is that I hesitate to date anyone with kids because I am young and not settled yet. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 It's amazing how many people make judgments about me because I prefer women that are slim and busty. I'm always judged about that. I don't know that it's judgment as much as wondering if you are shooting out of your league. You have a lot of competition for the types of girls you are aiming for, and given your intense desire for a girlfriend (and only landing one in fourteen years of trying), I think some people here wonder if you wouldn't have more success if you aimed a little lower, at girls who aren't the ones who are in highest demand among the college guys. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I don't know that it's judgment as much as wondering if you are shooting out of your league. You have a lot of competition for the types of girls you are aiming for, and given your intense desire for a girlfriend (and only landing one in fourteen years of trying), I think some people here wonder if you wouldn't have more success if you aimed a little lower, at girls who aren't the ones who are in highest demand among the college guys. That's fine to see and present it that way. Though many people do mention something about me liking large breasts, in a judgmental manner. Making it almost seem that it's a bad thing for me to have that preference. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 That's fine to see and present it that way. Though many people do mention something about me liking large breasts, in a judgmental manner. Making it almost seem that it's a bad thing for me to have that preference. Having that preference is fine, but you do seem a little obsessed at times. I'm personally freaked out at your knowledge of bra sizing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Having that preference is fine, but you do seem a little obsessed at times. I'm personally freaked out at your knowledge of bra sizing. Yes I am a little obsessed. I actually have an excel file where I record the bra sizes of my favorite models and err actresses. I've also done research on bra sizing because frankly it can be pretty complicated. If one woman is a 36C and another a 32D, how am I supposed to know who is bigger without doing the research? BTW, the 36C is bigger Still, I don't think there is anything wrong with my obsession as long as it's not limiting me. I've said many times that I would be fine with a smaller breasted woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 They become judgments when you're rude or snide, about a person's circumstances that dint align with your preferences. People are so damn sensitive now a statement like I want my own kids is rude or snide. DAMN get some thick skin. I spent most of my life getting sh*t talked to me. I've been called everything. That is what you get being the non stereotypical black kid in a rural area. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Everybody judges to some degree and the people who claim to be non judgemental are often the worst about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Joystick, I don't think your argument of thin-skinnedness can be levied at some of the posters you're aiming at. You seem to be reading more into their "responses" to "judgements" than you should be. I have yet to see someone react badly to someone with a more respectful manner attached to his preference. I do think people should try to limit the reactions to "judgements" because people will judge you whatever you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joystickd Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 Joystick, I don't think your argument of thin-skinnedness can be levied at some of the posters you're aiming at. You seem to be reading more into their "responses" to "judgements" than you should be. I have yet to see someone react badly to someone with a more respectful manner attached to his preference. I do think people should try to limit the reactions to "judgements" because people will judge you whatever you do. I have to get off here the longer I stay on here the more pissed off I get. There is a certain few people women in particular that always get on my damn nerves. If I say this I'm judging if I say something else I'm being a misogynist (they use the word too damn loosely anyway), if I call a woman a slut I'm shaming them even if they had a gangbang that included family member. Hell I'm the guy that fell in love with a woman that was called the wal-mart whore. I'm not as understanding as you when it comes to these women that want to change men. I have zero tolerance for it. I can have some understanding to women's situation but with some of these women I have say something to them even if it means being an *******. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 everybody judges to some degree and the people who claim to be non judgemental are often the worst about it. a-freakin-men Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Yes I am a little obsessed. I actually have an excel file where I record the bra sizes of my favorite models and err actresses. I've also done research on bra sizing because frankly it can be pretty complicated. If one woman is a 36C and another a 32D, how am I supposed to know who is bigger without doing the research? BTW, the 36C is bigger Still, I don't think there is anything wrong with my obsession as long as it's not limiting me. I've said many times that I would be fine with a smaller breasted woman. This is a consequence of having a bit too much adonis DNA. But you do what you need to, SD. Don't let the shocked expressions of those around you slow you down. The only thing I've ever really cared about when it comes to bras is how to get them off with one hand. Without giving too much of the secret away, I'll just say there's a little bit of extra fabric you can use if you're deft enough. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 This is a consequence of having a bit too much adonis DNA. But you do what you need to, SD. Don't let the shocked expressions of those around you slow you down. The only thing I've ever really cared about when it comes to bras is how to get them off with one hand. Without giving too much of the secret away, I'll just say there's a little bit of extra fabric you can use if you're deft enough. I definitely need more practice getting bras off. I have not mastered the one-hander. I actually sucked using two hands as well if I couldn't see what I was doing Link to post Share on other sites
verydazednconfused Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I was already robbed out of my choice in the sexual past preference. Ideally I would have wanted a woman with a (mind you, I was a virgin at the time but never wanted to sleep around) low monogamous past, nothing too wild. I got lied to and initially believed she has only been in 2 long-term relationships. It's way more than that but I'm trying to forget. Some days I forget it then other days it comes back again. Not going to end it but it does hurts getting lied to that way just so you can get the person to accept you into a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 People are so damn sensitive now a statement like I want my own kids is rude or snide. DAMN get some thick skin. I spent most of my life getting sh*t talked to me. I've been called everything. That is what you get being the non stereotypical black kid in a rural area. I have no idea what you're talking about. You asked a question, I gave an answer. I am unsure as to why you are being so sensitive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 That's fine to see and present it that way. Though many people do mention something about me liking large breasts, in a judgmental manner. Making it almost seem that it's a bad thing for me to have that preference. I think I see that as pretty normal. But see, you simply prefer large breasts. You're not denigrating or making fun of the girls that have small ones. If you're not saying "I won't date some flat-chested non-sexy bitchy bint." then you're not being judgmental, because you aren't assuming anything about their other characteristics based on their chest size. You're not classifying a whole bunch of women who may be very different than those specs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I wanted to add that the ORIGINAL question was when did preferences become judgments. So all I was concerned about was answering what the difference is. The question was not whether one should judge or not. As a species, I don't think we can help it. What's important (in my head, anyway, since I'm late 50's) is that if you judge others harshly (at least out loud or in any way that others know about it) you are likewise going to be judged harshly. That is, if you are not kind to others in your thoughts as much as possible, they are rarely going to be kind to you. This is part of the reason we have less and less people of character and morals and kindness these days. What we're paying forward is not kindnesses for the most part. What bothers us about other people in general, we are likely to find in ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
ProudLoner Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 When they began to not recognize their preferences were for those who "exploited" the blood sweat and tears and passed it off as their own..... Really. Case in point, all those who flocked to the fashions and styles, gaining mass attention, but missed the "reason" for those styles. No different than exploiting heiroglyphics of the ancient Egyptians for style, however those Egyptians are dead. But if they were alive, or if closely related ancestors were still alive, they are doing a dis-service by abusing the hieroglyphics for "me me me" usage. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 It does until you reject a woman because of her sexual past or as the LS women call it slut shaming. Why get mad at a man's preference then say he is shaming the woman? Makes no damn sense. Preferences with them are cool until they get rejected. Are you judging her or are you just choosing your mate? Condemning her for her choices is one thing. Choosing to be with someone whose lifestyle and values match yours is another. Rejecting someone is not judging them. It's just exercising your right to choose. Short, ugly, poor, bald guys who live with their parents might feel judged when they get rejected. But it's more likely they are passing judgment on themselves, out of disappointment, fear, embarrassment, insecurity or whatever. While the women are just wanting to be with someone who meets their expectations. I've rejected women who don't meet my expectations. They went on to lead happy lives without me. I never thought they shouldn't. It isn't for me to say what is good or bad about them, only what I like or don't like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 I agree tone matters but with some of the women of LS the very fact they got turned down because they have a high number of partner/casual sex is an issue no matter how you say it. If it was just tone they would be so willing to act shady and hide that fact When it comes from a man who has high numbers himself, then he is shaming; pushing that double standard. I have felt judged when I've been rejected at times, especially when it came from guys who knew me and liked me/felt attracted to me, but I wasn't good enough in some way to pass muster. And I'm not the only woman around to be rejected for the prettier (and now, younger) woman. I've never turned down a man because of his height; I liked a boy in school, who was shorter than me, because he was smart, kind, and he made me laugh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 That is true. It's crazy as men when we get turned down and fuss about it we get told to suck it up. The moment one of these women on here hear about a woman getting turn down because of age or casual sex/# of partners it's an issue and they are getting judged. I have never seen a post where a man whined about being judged and used that word. They aren't always told to suck it up. I've not only commiserated with some men, I've also done the approaching. I don't get to sit and look pretty, or just walk into a room and make men swoon, unfortunately. It's amazing how many men will make fools out of themselves, over a beautiful woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 It's amazing how many people make judgments about me because I prefer women that are slim and busty. I'm always judged about that. That would probably be because you judge women who prefer tall men. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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