any gals willin to date loner tyoe of guys

[joel]

what do girls think of a guy 24 yr old who has no freinds or very few more like aquintances type of ppl he talks to. are you or would u be willing to date one of these guys. what do u think of em. he talks to ppl and is freindly but just doesn't have friends with which he hangs out with.

i now you can get a lot of informatin from a guy just by talkin to his freinds and observing his speech toward him and his freinds, but what happens if he ia more like a loner.

i perosnally am a quite person-sometimes i jsut have nothing to say and don;t wanna hurt someones feelings that why i am quite and that was just how i was raised up.

 

trying to make more freinds though he just its hard-i voluntter one a wk now talk to ppl there and talk to the occasional ppl at school if i see em around.

i want to eat in the cafe but doesn;t seem right just to join into somebodys group when i just now one person out of the 6 ppl in the group and that one person is just a casual aquintance there. and i don;t want to eat alone in the cafe as nobody does , so i eat at the benches at school

[Confused1]

I think any girl would date a guy regardless of their friends or lack of if they're interested in him. But where are you going to meet those girls and what would you have in common to keep the relationship? You need to think about what interests you and how to meet people that have the same interests.

 

 

Also, if you know one person out of that group of people in the cafe - go sit with them or at least stop over and introduce yourself. How else will you ever get to know them?

[JackieQ]

Hey joel, I know you've been struggling with this. Volunteering is a great way to start. Yeah, it can be awkward to turn casual acquaintances into friends. Keep at it.

[SilentPrayer]

I would:) My X was not a loner he did have friends. He only chose to do things on his owne. I liked the confidence it showed. It made me realize that before me, he had a huge space in his daily routine that was empty. I felt special, that I got so much time.

 

Nothing is wrong with not haveing allot of friends. I dont, I call very very fiew people friends. I hardly ever

call someone a good friend. It takes allot to earn those titles.

 

Also, anyman who can walk into a cafe' and be alone, sit alone, do everything alone. Will probably have a

hard time finding a girl who can owne upto that. Girls are social creatures, naturally they hand in packs like wolves do. You are unique person to be on your owne and not be afraid.I allready like you.

 

 

Stay the way you are, and dont be shy to walk upso someone you kinda know. Say something nice or funny.

 

Best of Luck~

 

Connie*

[DoggyDog]

Hi Joel,

 

Join the crowd. I'm a loner too and I understand what your thinking because I also think those thoughts. But I will tell you, if you have a relationship with someone they will give you friendship as well as someone to enjoy doing fun things. The downfall is when you get "needy", which is what happened to me I know now. But then, it was LDR and everything I did was alone when not with him anyway. So what...You come in the world ALONE and you go OUT ALONE.

Think of it like that and you'll be fine. Many people can't be content with themselves and be alone...that is sad. YOU and GOD...your never ALONE Joel.

 

Love DD

[JellyBeans]

Just because you consider yourself a loner shouldn't matter to anyone - I prefer being with a guy who doesn't try to be a social butterfly. My ex was an attention hog - he had to be the center of attention among everyone and this drove me nuts. I'd give anything if he was a loner type.

 

I'm a loner type too - I don't trust too many people and as I get older for some reason I tend to be a little bit more insecure and more withdrawn which I guess makes me more of a loner. I'm friendly and sweet to others but boy I've been burned so many times I just don't trust too easily.

 

There is nothing wrong with being a loner - the right girl will appreciate you for who you are. At least you're not trying to be someone you're not and admit you're a loner. Very few people admit that.

[monkey00]

joel, im in a similar situation as you. Often i enjoy doing things on my own. There's no problem with that, it shows you dont need to have others around to have a good time. i have few friends and acquantances, but we barely hang out.

 

But the thing about a girl dating a loner guy such as me as come across my mind in the past. What if she had a more socially active life than me, had more friends than me, etc. But i dont thikn about those things anymore....cause if a girl truly likes you, she likes you for your personality, humour and brains...not cause you are a loner or not.

[amerikajin]

There's no problem with being a loner, it's how you carry yourself as a loner that a woman looks at.

 

If you're a loner because you are socially inept and can't relate to people, that's one thing; but if you are just a guy who is a strong, silent independent guy who just happens to have his own things to do at the moment, a lot of women are willing to try you out. It's how you project yourself that matters.

[ttjames]

I just got out of 3 year relationship with a really outgoing social girl. I, on the other hand am pretty reserved and quite. When I met her I was going out to the bars and clubs alone and I actually preferred it. She said that she was instantly attracted to me because I seemed so confident about being out in that enivironment alone. She said she pretty much fell for me just because of that independent and confident vibe I was give off.

 

So yeah being quiet and reserved and not having many friends really doesn't matter as long as you're confident about it.

 

Now it's three years later, I'm single again and in the college environment. But now I'm finding it hard to find that confident vibe again.

Grrrr.

[Darkiya]

It's one thing to be a loner... it's another to be a loser.

 

I know, I know that's some harsh words up there but read a little more and I'll explain.

 

A girl wants in a guy someone who is smart, funny, attractive, entertaining, and considerate at least on some level or another. If you're a loner and you kind of stick to the shadows and what is known to you... try to break out of your box. Part of the problem is you're probably shy but think of it this way... she's probably much more afraid to approach you than you are to approach her.

 

Next, try approaching the sort of girls who are loners themselves. Shy girls usually take a little more to grow confortable with you but if you manage to pull it off casually you may find yourself with someone much more willing to give you a chance. If you always oggle the head cheerleader but can offer her nothing than a shakey smile and a would-you-like-to-see-my-comic-book-collection you won't get anywhere.

 

It seems that most guys just are either too content with their own lot in life to change it... or chase after the wrong sort of girl. If you want a particular sort of girl you have to become what she wants otherwise you need to chase after the girls who like your sort.

 

I'm a bit of a loner myself, I tend to like guys who are loners but not ones who sit in a corner and mope about their lack of a girlfriend. You either have to seize life by the horns and take it... or feel sorry for yourself and get nothing.

 

Here's a quote for you to mull over..

 

"If you always do what you've always done... you'll always get what you always got"

[TrueIori]

That seems a bit harsh Darkiya. To me no one a loser it just that some have a harder time to ask girls out than others. U say that loners tend to be the kind that sit in the back and never try to ask taht girl that he like. What if ur like me who tried only to get ur heart broken again ,again ,again. Until i just got sick and tried of no's and went that path of a loner. Heck i am smart, funny, while i aint no damn model i think iam attractive and still got all those no's . I used to be a nice guy but i learn the hard way that the world aint a fair place and that every just out looking for them selve. And dont call no a loser until u walk in there shoes

[outdated]

Originally posted by ttjames

I just got out of 3 year relationship with a really outgoing social girl. I, on the other hand am pretty reserved and quite. When I met her I was going out to the bars and clubs alone and I actually preferred it. She said that she was instantly attracted to me because I seemed so confident about being out in that enivironment alone. She said she pretty much fell for me just because of that independent and confident vibe I was give off.

 

So yeah being quiet and reserved and not having many friends really doesn't matter as long as you're confident about it.

 

I am much the same way. I have plenty of friends and am social, but often times prefer to do things on my own. I have always been very independent and girls seem to find that attractive. On top of that, going places on my own allows me to talk to people that I probably wouldn't because I would be talking to my friends. I'm not a loner in the sense that I have no problem talking to anyone, ever. It doesn't occur to me that they wouldn't want to talk to me. And if I find that they don't then I talk to someone else. Human beings are naturally social, and most are happy to talk if you have something interesting to say, or at least an interesting way of saying it. It's all about confidence. People of both sexes are drawn to it because many people are just faking it.