Filing papers, how long will it take to be protected?

[confused-hesitant]

I am filing divorce papers this week. Right now my STBXH is living with his father, but, legally, he is allowed to come into our house anytime he wants since his name is on the house. I need that to NOT be allowed, so we are filing for temporary/permanent residence, as well as requesting that the court accept my parenting plan and grant me immediate child support. My question is, how long after I file papers will it take for the court to grant the motion? I need to be able to have it granted BEFORE he knows I filed, is that possible?

He thinks its all going to get better, I'm going to forgive and forget everything he's ever said and done in the last 10 years, magically NOT resent him and actually have feelings for him again (and somehow not be annoyed and disgusted by him anymore). Right now he's being fairly civil, with the occasional bout of childish attitude. But, I know once I file he's going to get REALLY ignorant, which is WHY I hired a lawyer. He's already warned me (gave me an ultimatum) that if I don't TRY to work this out that he will go out of his way to make it financially impossible for me to be on my own, pay the mortgage, utilities, etc. Funny thing is, yes, he does make a LOT more than I do but I budget and know what I spend and I know I can afford all of them. May have to cut the cable down or out, that's about it. Anyways, I'm rambling....

 

Any advice? I just want this over and done... ugg...

[carhill]

I need to be able to have it granted BEFORE he knows I filed, is that possible?

 

Short version is that there are no 'surprises'.

 

What happens is that, in my jurisdiction, the divorce lawsuit is filed with the court and is directed to be served upon the respondent, either via process server or the sheriff. Once served, the respondent has 30 days to form a response to the court, the act of which technically 'contests' the lawsuit even if the response is not adversarial in tone. Then, motions in the petition and response are docketed and a court hearing takes place to rule on them.

 

This of course precludes emergency hearings where criminal acts may be involved. Those are handled separately. An example would be an order of domestic protection/restraining order. Another would be in cases of child abuse/molestation, etc.

 

Your best source of information, absent of course paying your lawyer their rate for it, would be the family law division at your local courthouse. The clerks, if in the mood, will give brief information on filing and court procedures and, if the court has a self-help desk, they can give more detailed information on how the court works. Neither provides legal advice for your specific situation.

 

MY IANAL advice: Pick one aspect of post-D life which is important to you and focus yours and your lawyer's energies on that and be willing to negotiate everything else. I paid 350per for that advice and it was money well-spent. Good luck!

[d0nnivain]

It depends on where you are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are in imminent physical danger you can get a temporary restraining order in a matter of hours, without notifying him. His will get notice & an opportunity to be heard before any final restraints are put in place & they won't be unless you are in continued physical danger.

 

 

Money issues almost always require notice.

 

 

Assume you will be the sole source of support for your children & don't count on him paying in the short term.