She KNOWS now!

[nais]

I do not care- when someone threatens you.... if I were in her shoes I would deal with HIM. If I were in her shoes I would file for DIVORCE. If I were in her shoes I would not post THREATS on FB or any other place so someone who I am angry at can get the upper HAND. Did this OW threaten his family? did this OW go to his wife's job, home, concert event to show force? If her shoes walk the path of Crazy Bish then she also needs to walk the path of the legal system allowing her to request no more contact from Craziness! Besides... if she is getting CS she will also have to allow her child to be around their father - wifes crazy... even if its an acute psychosis I do not blame her for starting a paper trail!

[nais]

Threats can become real- she did not have to speak to ANYONE wife was trying to make her have a confrontation with her. She may end up wanting to her hurt under the guise of being friendly- this is not Jerry Springer and no one has to have a last word about anything... wife needs to move on and if she cant hear reason then someone needs to force her. The legal system will restrain her or her real actions may come through.

 

 

Threat isn't about how we feel but about the person who feels it.

[Fluttershy]

Laws must be different here. You can get restraining orders without charges or arrests.

 

You felt threatened and reported it. That is nothin to be ashamed of. You don't have to let someone go all crazy on you just because you screwed up months ago. Definetly work on keeping them as out of your life as possible and either close down your FB account for a while or lock it down tight. You got a rougg road still ahead and working on yourself and making the best choices for your kids right now is all you can do.

 

Though you never clarified if she actually thretend your children or just name called. Because if you reported her because you want to teach her a lesson on name calling that still doesn't seem right (yor own post where you said she went to far calling your kids names)

[PhoenixRise]

Well, the wife knows now and apparently she has been known about me and the baby. It has gotten really messy now.

 

About 2 weeks ago, I went to a concert and had a good time until after the concert she approached me after I had gotten in the car. She had to been watching me the whole time I was there from 7:30 to 12 that night. I believe she's been on my facebook thats the only way she would have known I would be there. I made a police report.

 

So you assume she was watching you the whole time for 4 1/2 hours. But you don't know this. unless you were watching her the whole time and saw her watching you. AND you THINK she was on your facebook and that she saw your plans to go to the concert there but you don't know this either. Maybe she didn't know you were going to be at the concert. Maybe she likes the band.

 

The next night ex-mm's cousin inboxed me and questioned me about our daughter. She wanted to know why I havent tried to get her around her family I told her to talk to him about that.

 

Then a couple of days later, the wife sends me a friend request on FB. I inboxed her and told her that we were not friends and whatever she wanted to say to me she could. She told me that she posted something for me to read. I told her I wasnt accepting her request. I told her we could talk like women about this. She went crazy, she told me to kill myself, she called my daughters B**** and the next time she sees me she's going to beat my a$$! I didnt respond I called the police, police officer came and he told me to put myself in her shoes and she's probably just upset and mad. I said I understand that but she threatened me. So he went and arrested her.

 

I went to put a restraining order on her, because I do feel threatened at this point and I have to look out for the safety of me and my daughters.

 

THEN, this past monday I get a inbox message from ex-mm. He says that he has an atty to not only get a DNA test but to investigate me and I told him to bring it on, I have one too. Then he kept responding with other stuff and asked for my phone number. He has my number so at this point Im starting to think that it was his wife. Its crazy that he would say something after all this time especially when Im not bothering them.

 

Maybe he thinks going after him for CS (I totally believe it is his responsibility to pay it) and having his wife arrested = bothering them?

 

We go to court next week for the restraining order, Im so nervous. I dont know what to expect at this point.

 

Also, I got a letter about the CS I should start receiving it in less than 30 days.

 

What do you all think about all of this?

 

I hope for a peaceful resolution for the sake of the children involved.

[hurtnomorerika]

I do not care- when someone threatens you.... if I were in her shoes I would deal with HIM. If I were in her shoes I would file for DIVORCE. If I were in her shoes I would not post THREATS on FB or any other place so someone who I am angry at can get the upper HAND. Did this OW threaten his family? did this OW go to his wife's job, home, concert event to show force? If her shoes walk the path of Crazy Bish then she also needs to walk the path of the legal system allowing her to request no more contact from Craziness! Besides... if she is getting CS she will also have to allow her child to be around their father - wifes crazy... even if its an acute psychosis I do not blame her for starting a paper trail!

 

Never bothered them at all, throughout the whole thing. After the concert me and my friends walked quite a distance to the car, got in the car, laughing and talking, then the next thing I know she's standing at my door. Im in the backseat on the passenger side, I didnt even realize who she was. I let the window down, she starts questioning me asking me do I know her and her husband. Is you the one he was blah, blah, blah, and then she had other people with her. We felt threatened simply because It made us feel as if she had been watching us the whole time we were there. The concert started at 8. We got there at about 7:15 too avoid the lines and everything. Around 8 I went to the bathroom I believe that's when she spotted me. I had just dyed my hair an auburn red color so Im not hard to spot. I also had posted pics of FB, so thats the only way she would have even known what I looked like.

 

The performer was still on stage, when we decided to leave. So she had to see me, when I left and decided to catch up with me. I dont want to do that lady any harm than I've already done. When I made that first report, the officer asked me did she threatened me I said No. I could have lied to really make it a big deal but I didnt.

 

Thanks for your post. My point of it is having a paper trail because I see its getting out of hand. If anything should happen where I have to defend myself this will not be a surprise to law enforcement.

[hurtnomorerika]

I hope for a peaceful resolution for the sake of the children involved.

 

I had no clue she was at the concert UNTIL she was standing at the door of my car.

 

If putting him on CS for a child he's made and not taken care of is bothering him, so be it.

 

If protecting me and my kids against someone who has made threats which equals an arrest is bothering them, so be it.

[nais]

Never bothered them at all, throughout the whole thing. After the concert me and my friends walked quite a distance to the car, got in the car, laughing and talking, then the next thing I know she's standing at my door. Im in the backseat on the passenger side, I didnt even realize who she was. I let the window down, she starts questioning me asking me do I know her and her husband. Is you the one he was blah, blah, blah, and then she had other people with her. We felt threatened simply because It made us feel as if she had been watching us the whole time we were there. The concert started at 8. We got there at about 7:15 too avoid the lines and everything. Around 8 I went to the bathroom I believe that's when she spotted me. I had just dyed my hair an auburn red color so Im not hard to spot. I also had posted pics of FB, so thats the only way she would have even known what I looked like.

 

The performer was still on stage, when we decided to leave. So she had to see me, when I left and decided to catch up with me. I dont want to do that lady any harm than I've already done. When I made that first report, the officer asked me did she threatened me I said No. I could have lied to really make it a big deal but I didnt.

 

Thanks for your post. My point of it is having a paper trail because I see its getting out of hand. If anything should happen where I have to defend myself this will not be a surprise to law enforcement.

 

 

 

 

Keep up with any and all communication you receive from her or anyone else. Keep a log- a journal- anything that will show a pattern. I understand only because I had it happen to me but from a man. I have seen things like this happen and it is a volatile situation. People have been seriously harmed due to infidelity and she may feel she has a right to harm you-

 

 

No one has a right to harm anyone for any reason, if this is the type of person she can potentially be then please keep a journal - also if the judge doesn't see it your way do not despair... she may feel the need to continue but with luck the threat of jail or anything may be serious enough that she will leave it all alone. If so you got your point across. No matter what happens, continue to document even the smallest item.

[Sub]

I'm a little confused, so bear with me. If you didn't know she was at the concert until afterwards, why do you think she saw you before the concert on the way to the bathroom? And if she didn't threaten you there, and you admitted as much, on what grounds did you file a police report? And I'm still wondering how she saw photos on FB if she's not your friend?

[PhoenixRise]

I had no clue she was at the concert UNTIL she was standing at the door of my car.

 

If putting him on CS for a child he's made and not taken care of is bothering him, so be it.

 

If protecting me and my kids against someone who has made threats which equals an arrest is bothering them, so be it.

 

 

So you were just guessing when you said she watched you the whole time at the concert and that she got your info re the concert on facebook.

 

 

I believe I said I agreed with you about the CS. He should pay it.

 

 

My point was that you say you were surprised that he was messaging you but based on the current event you describe (CS starting soon and arrest) don't you think he would respond to that?

 

How exactly did she threaten you kids. Did she say she would harm them?

 

Don't get me wrong, threatening you was the wrong thing to do. I'm trying to get clear on how she threatened your kids though.

[hurtnomorerika]

I'm a little confused, so bear with me. If you didn't know she was at the concert until afterwards, why do you think she saw you before the concert on the way to the bathroom? And if she didn't threaten you there, and you admitted as much, on what grounds did you file a police report? And I'm still wondering how she saw photos on FB if she's not your friend?

 

 

She was on my FB where I had just posted pics of my red hair. We were seated in the front of the venue. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I'm assuming that's when she spotted me.

 

If she wasn't watching me then how would she just pop out of nowhere on the side of the car at my door. In the FB message she also said that she had the license plate of the car I was in, that wasn't even my car.

[hurtnomorerika]

So you were just guessing when you said she watched you the whole time at the concert and that she got your info re the concert on facebook.

 

 

I believe I said I agreed with you about the CS. He should pay it.

 

 

My point was that you say you were surprised that he was messaging you but based on the current event you describe (CS starting soon and arrest) don't you think he would respond to that?

 

How exactly did she threaten you kids. Did she say she would harm them?

 

Don't get me wrong, threatening you was the wrong thing to do. I'm trying to get clear on how she threatened your kids though.

 

Can you quote where I said she threatened the kids?

[Cocochai]

Nope, no custody issue. I've spoken with my lawyer and 2 judges that I know. No judge is going to grant any custody, simply because he's never been around. Visitation rights, yes, custody no.

 

The only way there would be a custody battle would be if the poster was a unfit mother.

 

Let him do the DNA test... He'll automatically let the child support roll in. Also if I were you, I'd get full custody before any court stuff happens.

[wanting more]

Why is custody out of the question. I'm pretty sure just because he wasn't there drying the pregnancy doesn't mean he loses his rights as the father.

 

There are so many couples I know that have shared custody. One week with mom, next week with dad. This could happen.

[bentleychic]

Sorry if this has been said, BUT...

 

I don't care WHO you are, BS, MM, my father, Jesus...if you threaten MY children, ALL bets are off. You no longer have any rights or respect. Arrested is the BEST thing you could hope for if you threatened my child(ren).

 

Being a BS does not give you immunity to say whatever you want about someone's child(ren). No matter WHO those children belong to.

 

Also, I would fall off the face of the earth and become invisible before I would let that *expletive* have ANY custody of my child after threatening my child(ren). NO flipping way would she get her hands on my child. Angry or not, bitter or not, that child is an INNOCENT. If she's not above threatening now, what would she do if she got her hands on her? I wouldn't give her the chance to find out.

[Pastypop]

You need to get into a self defense class ASAP and carry some sort of protection. All hell has broken loose at their house and they are blaming you for all of it. A restraining order will only go so far when someone is in a rage like his wife is. If she approaches you, she will try to grab your hair, put you in a headlock and beat you silly. (This is that attack move that most women use) There is one simple move that will allow you to basically rip her nose off while she is doing this. Google that move and learn it. Don't think she would be pleased with getting her ass beat if she decides to assault you. When someone threatens you

and your children, those threats should be taken seriously regardless of the situation. Good luck with all drama. I hope everything works out well for you.

[wanting more]

Can you quote where I said she threatened the kids?

 

My understanding is she didn't threaten her kids. She said she was going to beat her ass. After finding out her husband had an A and fathered a child.

 

Has no one on here ever said something in the heat of the moment?

 

If the BW calls again and threatens again then yes, OP should take it seriously.

[bentleychic]

My understanding is she didn't threaten her kids. She said she was going to beat her ass. After finding out her husband had an A and fathered a child.

 

Has no one on here ever said something in the heat of the moment?

 

If the BW calls again and threatens again then yes, OP should take it seriously.

Aha. So she threatened Erika and called her daughters (inc. the one she shared with MM) *tches. There's still NWIH she'd touch my child unless they pried her from my cold dead hands.

[thinkingofhim]

Erika... I've read all of your threads and to be honest it sounds like you have had it in for his BS from the start. You almost sound gleeful that you managed to get her in trouble with the law.

 

For your own sake, for your familys sake.. you really need to set aside this hatred you have for his BS. She did nothing to you. You actively participated in an A that threatens the stability of her home and family. Just stay away from them. Stop celebrating your "victory" over his BS. Its a bit sick. You need to focus on caring for your child and you need to understand that YES, he CAN go to court to gain partial custody. Full custody, very doubtful, but joint custody, yes.

[bentleychic]

Just stay away from them. Stop celebrating your "victory" over his BS. Its a bit sick.

 

You don't seem to be grasping the fact that the BS is seeking HER out on multiple occasions.

[thinkingofhim]

She is under no obligation to engage with either of them without an attorney present. She can set her Facebook to private. She can walk away. She can drive away. She can stop communicating with them, and she should, regardless of whether they try to message her on Facebook or encounter her in a parking lot.

[wanting more]

Aha. So she threatened Erika and called her daughters (inc. the one she shared with MM) *tches. There's still NWIH she'd touch my child unless they pried her from my cold dead hands.

 

I agree 100% with you when it comes to my kids and anyone threatening them.

 

This is a BW who found out her husband had an A and fathered a child. She's pissed and hurt and confused. And said she'd beat Ericas ass after Erica wouldn't friend her on fb so she could read what BW had written to her

 

I think the woman threatened in the heat of the moment. I'd be in jail every few months if someone called the cops for something I said in the heat of the moment.

[whichwayisup]

You need to get into a self defense class ASAP and carry some sort of protection.

 

If you are implying she carry a gun, that's the wrong approach. You all have to remember that the BS is a mother too, like Erica and I highly doubt she is going to shoot/kill when she has so much to lose.

 

Let the emotions of all this settle down and LET the lawyers sort out the rest.

[ThatsJustHowIRoll]

My god you all need to stop getting hysterical.

 

From what ive read, she never threatened the kids. Stop beating itup to be more thanit is.

 

She tried to approach Erika a couple of times in a respectful manner. Erika blew her off and then went straight to the police. Erika, you overreacted. You know you did. At the end of the day, we will allbe judged by our deeds and actions....How do you think yours hold up, Erika? Dont worry about him or her...do you think you're the best person you can be? Think about that. Worry about that. Your actions will define you.

 

Asfor her approaching you? Yeah, you interjected yourself into her marriage and now the lives of her children. Its called consequences. You knew the piper would come calling. You itched for it. Put on your big girl panties and deal with this in a mature way.

You did her dirty. How about starting with some empathy?

[yellowmaverick]

 

Thanks for pointing that out, even if he does, God worked it out in my favor

just by me having a restraining order on her, I wont have to worry about her

having any access to my daughter.

 

 

I wouldn't bet on that. Judges base many of their opinions on their own set of values and life experiences, particularly with respect to issues involving children. If it goes the way you are hoping and she will not have access, you should expect that her H will not want anything to do with the child and that your daughter will not have any relationship with her half-siblings.

 

I hope you getting his poor wife arrested puts an end to your anger. Maybe now you can find some peace.

[hurtnomorerika]

My god you all need to stop getting hysterical.

 

From what ive read, she never threatened the kids. Stop beating itup to be more thanit is.

 

She tried to approach Erika a couple of times in a respectful manner. Erika blew her off and then went straight to the police. Erika, you overreacted. You know you did. At the end of the day, we will allbe judged by our deeds and actions....How do you think yours hold up, Erika? Dont worry about him or her...do you think you're the best person you can be? Think about that. Worry about that. Your actions will define you.

 

Asfor her approaching you? Yeah, you interjected yourself into her marriage and now the lives of her children. Its called consequences. You knew the piper would come calling. You itched for it. Put on your big girl panties and deal with this in a mature way.

You did her dirty. How about starting with some empathy?

 

Okay her confronting me out of no where already ready for a confrontation. How is that respectful? Obviously if she was able to find me on FB, she could have inboxed me a long time ago and found out what was going on. But no she didn't do that she wanted a public altercation and I wasn't going to fight with her. No i didn't overreact. I didn't know that a few days later she do what she did on FB.

 

Tell me what would you have done?

 

I've had empathy. I went on quietly had my baby and did what I was supposed to do. If I had stood on his door step with the baby, caused a scene, or etc. I could see all of this but leave me alone. I'm not going to go back and forth. I'll get the police involved faster than you can spin your head.