Trouble with supervisor.

[dyermaker]

I work at a well known chain restauraunt. Basically take the Taco Bell formula, subtract all the mexican food, and add pizza in its place.

 

For two years my friend and I went to this place to eat pizza. The staff and the owner were always really nice to us, and eventually it became a place where we'd do our homework, and they'd give us pizza for free. Eventually the owner said we should work for him, and so we did. It's my first job.

 

I work once a week, on Fridays, from 4 pm to whenever we finish cleaning the place up, which is usually around 11:30. I do phones, oven, register, or any of the various stages of pizza making. I don't have a preference, and it's all fairly easy for me to do. I get along extremely well with all of the girls that work there. It's an extremely close community, the girls either live together or go to school together or whatever.

 

There was one girl, we'll call her Katie because that's her name, who I was always nice to, and she was always nice back. Evidently though, she doesn't like me at all, and talks **** about me to my friend, who also works there, but on a different schedule. So I kept that in mind, and didn't go out of my way to be nice to her anymore. No biggie.

 

Now Katie's a supervisor, which is different. She controls when I go on my break, and makes sure I'm doing my job right, et cetera. During the course of the night, she will find several mistakes I've made. This is not unacceptable--we make thousands of pizzas in a shift, and you're bound to screw up sometimes. It only slightly pisses me off that she's watching me like a hawk, because it's sort of an incentive to do my job better.

 

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, a knife slipped from my hand as I was carrying it back to the dishwasher at closing time. Not wanting to drop an extremely sharp knife (It's half-moon-shaped, we use it to cut pizzas), I lunged for it--and because the back of the knife is just as sharp as the front of the knife, it went through my hand. Much pain and blood loss was experienced, but I'm fine now.

 

I had to miss work for a week, because the wound and its dressings needed to be kept extremely dry. The week after, this last Friday, I had a limited work release to come back to work--but I could not handle food. I still did my job just fine, answering phones, doing register, and even doing oven despite the difficult position I'm in bandagewise. Nonetheless, Katie harassed me about the injury and my evident uselessness because I couldn't make pizzas. This of course put her in the uncomfortable position of actually having to step in and make a few instead of sitting on her ass and bitching about the work habits of others. Not that she didn't maintain that responsibility.

 

'Why are you here if you can't do anything?', she asked. I didn't answer because I was on the phone with someone who was ordering a pizza. Although, I could have probably answered when I got off, seeing as how she hadn't really done much since her question. Let me make it clear that I probably could make the pizzas, but that's beside the point. I'm allowed to work so long as I meet the conditions of the worker's release. I'm not avoiding food handling out of laziness, but due to the fact that I was told by a medical professional that I could return to work but not handle food. I would think it would be for the owner's benefit that I follow the conditions of my work release.

 

I hurt myself at work. I'm entitled to Worker's Compensation. She harrassed me about it, which is against the law. Because I get along so well with the owner, as well as--no exaggeration--every single other employee who works there, I don't want to really get into any **** about it. I do want her to leave me the hell alone though.

 

The worst part is that she bitches about me constantly behind my back. I feel that if I'm not doing my job, she should talk to the owner, or the manager, instead of to my friend. It's somewhat complicated because my friend won't stand up for me, because he's under the irrelevant impression that she has an incredible ass. He tells me that she talks **** about me, and assures me that she's right in complaining. He thinks I'm too hard on her. I think she should shut the hell up and act a bit more professional.

 

Corporate veterans: How do I handle this? Do I talk to the manager? Do I confront Katie? My goal is not to have her reprimanded, it's simply to be able to do my job without having to worry about her ****.

[tokyo]

Why don´t you talk to her first to see if it works out or not and then go to the manager? I think her problem is envy of your good relationship with the owner and the rest of the staff combined with immaturity, in that case I don´t really think a talk will help a lot, it´s more likely she needs to be put back on her place by the manager himself, but I´d still try the usual procedure and talk to her first. And if it´s something else that bugs her about you and it´s not sheer malice a talk might help; if you continue to ignore her it might become even worse.

 

I´ve noticed a while ago that your spelling had become really bad and I was wondering if you had broken your arm. Anyway, you´re back to your impeccable English.

[dyermaker]

What do you reccomend I say to her?

[tokyo]

How about:

 

"I´ve noticed that you don´t seem to be very satisfied with how I do my job. Maybe we could talk about it, because I´ve started to feel a bit unsure how the job should be done."

 

If she tries to give you an evasive answer, insist a little bit more, tell her that it does bother you and that you would really like it to be solved. If she really thinks you are doing a bad job, she should at least be able to justify it somehow in a talk with you. Explain it to her like you did in your post; it sounded quite reasonable to me. If she´s just nagging for the sake of putting people down, she´ll probably try to avoid this talk and be more careful to criticize you in the future.

 

Having said all this, I´m also aware that you are sometimes a bit rebellious and stubborn. I´m not saying you´re not nice and doing a good job, but maybe you irritated her somehow. When you talk with her, do it nicely. If she does have a problem with you and not your job, by approaching her nicely she might tell you what bugged her.

 

Give it a try, if it doesn´t work and she´s getting defensive or continues with her behavior, let the manager deal with her. I may be wrong, but I think some people sometimes just don´t like you, no matter how nice you are, no matter how open, no matter how much you try to talk with them, it just doesn´t work. Some people probably will never like you.

 

You haven´t said how well she gets along with the other people at work. I think if she gets along with everyone except you, then she´s having a personal problem with you. If she´s nasty with everybody, you´re the black sheep that complained

 

By the way, I just realized that your friend said she had an incredible ass - how old is she?

[moimeme]

Dyer - you want words from folks who've been around the block? Take from me this - if she is in favour with her manager, then nothing you try to do will help you at all. Once someone gets a hate on for you, no matter how irrational it is, they will rarely change. It happens all the time right here on LS. It's part of human nature.

 

I've said this to you before: you are going to encounter many people who dislike you in your work life. People get insecure about their jobs when they see someone very capable turn up. This is true even in the most low-end jobs; in fact maybe it's more so in the lower-end jobs. Inevitably, it's the lower-level supervisors that will get their snits on. As you have already seen, the top guy understands and appreciates you.

 

Management will rarely defend someone below a supervisor against a supervisor. The reason is this: management made the decision to promote the supervisor, so if that was a bad decision, it reflects badly on management. Management does not like to admit errors. Boss guy may realize she's a mistake, but now is unlikely to do anything about her unless she screws up badly, and not getting along with you - a part-timer - is not a bad enough screw-up to ditch her for. It will cost the company money and time to hire and train someone new.

 

When you're low man on the pole, and none is lower than the brand-new part-timer, you have to learn to suck up the stupidity. You always fight me on these things, and I used to fight the conventional wisdom, too, but my head got knocked flat from knocking it against brick walls and this is a brick wall. Take it from flat-headed me and don't leap on your donkey and fight this windmill. You will be the loser, I guarantee it.

 

Do as we suggested when Patty had trouble with her supervisor. Kill her with kindness. Be all sunshine and light, no matter how wretched she is to you. Your friend knows she talks bs to him - he doesn't defend you because he's already become wise to the ways of the work world and understands that it will neither help you nor him. If you're hostile back to her, her boss, no matter how much he likes you, may still fire you because he can't have conflicts. However if you behave impeccably, you're being the better man and he'll not have cause to ditch you. And try to avoid making mistakes.

 

Yes, one person can change the world, Dyer, but you have to pick what bits of the world are worth expending your energy on and which not and this reality of the working world isn't worth your time and energy.

 

This is going to happen to you time and again. Unless you become a professional, and maybe even then, you will be working among people who aren't your peers and many of them will be resentful of you because of that.

 

Yes, it stinks. Yes, the world should be different. But it has ever been thus and you can't shove the whole planet off its axis just like that. If you learn how to steel yourself against her and to be civil and even friendly no matter what, you'll have learned a critical lesson which will stand you in good stead for the rest of your working life.

[Moose]

I just read Moi's post after I wrote this, so consider this the shorter version:

 

Don't do a thing. Continue doing your job the way you have been. By the letter and with accuracy. The owner isn't a dummy or he/she wouldn't own the place. He/she probably knows more about what's going on then you think. This supervisor will get hers, and the revenge is sweetest when you don't have anything to do with her downfall. It may take some time, but employees who are like this always get their just deserts. I wouldn't say a word to her and kill her with kindest, kiss her ass.

[tokyo]

Ok, after reading what Moimeme and Moose said, I´m not sure if my approach is really the best. I think if this was a relaxed working environment you can try and talk with her. If not, I´d follow Moimeme´s and Moose´s advice. Sometimes it´s really not worth it. And believe me, I´m really really hot-tempered and I hate unfair treatment, especially of my humble person, but sometimes, the result does not justify the anger and energy you invest in it (or maybe we are just old people and the harsh facts of life have turned us into spineless wimps....)

[Moose]

I think if this was a relaxed working environment you can try and talk with her.

I think what Moi and I said should be taken into consideration, more so, because of the fact it's so close and personal there.

[brashgal]

I do have a suggestion for your friend. He can change the subject when she starts ragging on you. You'd think he'd want to turn the conversation to be about her or about him if he is interested in her romantically.

 

You can also tell him you don't want to hear about her complaints unless he witnesses her complaining to the owner. Maybe if you weren't hearing about it all the time, it would be easier to ignore.

 

Thank your lucky stars you only work with her one night a week. Hey, maybe if you hear about a fabulous job somewhere else in town that would be perfect for her, you can make sure she hears about it. That is usually how my 'problem' coworkers go away - they either get promoted, fired or find jobs outside the company.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by Moose

I think what Moi and I said should be taken into consideration, more so, because of the fact it's so close and personal there.

 

I would say the more relaxed, the easier to talk. He won´t lose that much by trying to talk with her. If this was a crappy working environment, then I´d say, shut up, work, get your pay check at the end of the month, that´s it, it´s just one night a week.

[Bronzepen]

Welcome to the working class Dyermaker.

 

Moi and Moose made very good points. I would like to add this:

 

A job is a job, you make it what it is. This is good experience for you.

 

For whatever reason, your supervisor doesn't like you. You may or may not know why she doesn't like you but that is not important.

 

Your there to do a job and you should do it to the best of your ability. I won't go so far as to say "Kiss her ass". But do figure out her way of thinking and follow her pattern. Even if it's contrary to your way of thinking. The key is that if your idea's and way of doing things are better then bring them up to the manager (not supervisor, she would only take your ideas and use them as her own).

 

Of course, like anything in life, you can shower her with gratitude but she can still hate you and treat you like dirt. If your unhappy then look for another job. That is the number 2 reason why people find another job. Number 1 is pay.

 

Here's the thing.

 

In any work environment, it's all about competition. Yes, you can have a good laugh and share a beer with your co-workers after work but when it comes to who is next for a promotion, it becomes a blood bath.

 

In a work environment it's all about being diplomatic with the occasional cloak and dagger.

 

Yes, be friendly.

 

Yes, be professional.

 

Yes, be a team player.

 

And Yes, don't trust anyone.

 

Like the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

 

Is what Katie doing considered harassment, you bet.

 

Are you entitled to workers comp, absolutely.

 

Can you do anything about it. Not really.

 

It's your word against hers. Your friend won't get involved because, like I said above, it's competition (dog eat dog).

 

Just come in, do your job, collect your pay and go home.

 

 

Good Luck!

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by kooky

By the way, I just realized that your friend said she had an incredible ass - how old is she?

She's nineteen.

Originally posted by moimeme

Dyer - you want words from folks who've been around the block? Take from me this - if she is in favour with her manager, then nothing you try to do will help you at all. Once someone gets a hate on for you, no matter how irrational it is, they will rarely change.

If I confront her, wouldn't it, at the very least, cause her to be somewhat more reserved about her contempt? I don't like the idea of her talking crap about me to my friend, because he's got his own ego thing with how well he does HIS job, and she's only feeding it.

 

By the way, the manager and I get along great. I get along just fine with everyone except her.

 

Originally posted by Moose

I wouldn't say a word to her and kill her with kindest, kiss her ass.

I'm not rude to her. I'm not capable of being overly nice to her though. No matter how positive a reaction I elicit, she is still going to talk about me behind my back, which sucks.

 

She sucks.

 

Originally posted by Bronzepen

Just come in, do your job, collect your pay and go home.

That's the thing. If I wanted to make money, I'd sell drugs or something. I'm at the job because I really love working there. It's a great place with great people, and I'm not going to do something for eight hours unless I get something out of it.

 

She makes it so that I don't want to come to work, I don't want to even go there to eat after school. I like talking to my friend about work, but this is obviously an offlimits subject with him.

 

I feel like I should talk to her. I feel like I should ask her to stop talking about me behind my back, and to be more professional about her dislike for me.

 

 

[moimeme]

If I confront her, wouldn't it, at the very least, cause her to be somewhat more reserved about her contempt? I don't like the idea of her talking crap about me to my friend, because he's got his own ego thing with how well he does HIS job, and she's only feeding it.

 

No. People don't like to be confronted on their behaviour. They hate it when strangers do it online, even though that's impersonal. They hate it MUCH more face-to-face. It will only serve to make her dislike you more. People do not take kindly to correction by people they already dislike. Just think of when Moose tries to wise you up Or vice versa for that matter.

 

I feel like I should talk to her. I feel like I should ask her to stop talking about me behind my back, and to be more professional about her dislike for me.

 

Those of us who have either done this or have seen it happen will all caution you that this will be a big mistake. You will do it anyway and come to grief. There are truisms about people, Dyer, and one is what I said above. If she doesn't like you now, she will like you all the less for speaking to her. If she liked you and cared about your opinion, then yes she might change, however imagine anybody you dislike telling you how to behave and then imagine how likely you'd be to follow that person's advice. It simply will not work.

[debs]

Dyer?

Your dealing with a 19 year old!!!

I have a 21 yr old we had to confront and it was very unpleasant for her to say the least!

 

Moi? You have valid points and well put!

But I am sorry I would have to ask this 19yr old so called boss why the shake down? What has my performance done to warrant such behavior???

 

It may or may not help? But I could not allow someone belittle me as she does and Yes your friend can say I am sorry but I do not feel the same way and walk away and go do his job!

 

Yes people can not agree about what she has to say! Sometimes it does put an end to it!

 

I wish you luck and please let us know the outcome!

[moimeme]

It may or may not help? But I could not allow someone belittle me as she does and Yes your friend can say I am sorry but I do not feel the same way and walk away and go do his job!

 

Yes people can not agree about what she has to say! Sometimes it does put an end to it!

 

Even though she's 'only' 19, she's still three years Dyer's senior. It's not as though he's trying to put some young whippersnapper in her place. He's the young whippersnapper

[debs]

Funny Moi!!! Funny!

 

Guess it helps with experience and with people on here such as yourself who has experience in these matters.

 

Dyer I do wish you luck with this difficult situation!

[Bronzepen]

Originally posted by dyermaker

I'm not rude to her. I'm not capable of being overly nice to her though. No matter how positive a reaction I elicit, she is still going to talk about me behind my back, which sucks.

 

She sucks.

 

At one time or another people are going to talk sh#t about you behind your back.

 

I can understand why it irks you. You haven't done anything to her but for whatever reason you rub her the wrong way. Don't sweat it.

 

You know you can't please everyone so don't let her get to you.

 

 

That's the thing. If I wanted to make money, I'd sell drugs or something. I'm at the job because I really love working there. It's a great place with great people, and I'm not going to do something for eight hours unless I get something out of it.

 

She makes it so that I don't want to come to work, I don't want to even go there to eat after school. I like talking to my friend about work, but this is obviously an offlimits subject with him.

 

I feel like I should talk to her. I feel like I should ask her to stop talking about me behind my back, and to be more professional about her dislike for me.

 

 

 

In almost every job there is always going to ba an a**h*** that you have to deal with. It's nature, some law of physics or just an unbreakable curse.

 

Anyway, the secret to dealing with a person like that, especially your supervisor, is to endure and continue doing what your doing.

 

Tell your friend that you don't want to hear from him/her anything more about their conversations, especially conversations that are about you. Also, a word of caution for you. Don't tell your friend what you think of her either. If he is telling you what she says then he can tell her what you say.

 

 

Actually now that I wrote that, it got me thinking. I went back and read your post again.

 

You said that in the beginning you were nice to her and she was nice back. You stopped being nice to her after you heard from your friend that she was bad mouthing you. Then things took a turn for the worse. Please, clarify for me if I am wrong but

 

Let me ask you this. Do you trust your friend?

 

After he told you that she was bad mouthing you, did you tell your friend what you thought of her?

 

Do you think your friend told you supervisor what you said about her? You said that he was attracted to her. Trying to win her over by showing he is on her side. You even wrote that your friend said she is right in complaining about you. Some friend.

 

Remember what I said. It's all about competition.

 

Now I am extrapolating. Here is the thing, maybe she told your friend your cute or something but since your friend has the hots for her, he made have said to her that you we're talking crap about her then went to you and said she was talking crap about you.

 

I know I am probably stretching here and I could be off base.

 

But he is your friend. What do you think?

 

Either way, just tell your friend that you don't want to hear anymore about what she says about you.

 

Go in and do your work AND be nice to her like you did in the beginning. Talking to her about the issue will only make things worse.

[morrigan]

Originally posted by Bronzepen

 

 

tell your friend that you don't want to hear anymore about what she says about you.

 

Talking to her about the issue will only make things worse.

 

Fresh out of college, my sister had a supervisor who was rude to any female employees that she thought were more attractive than herself. It was a "joke" known by other dept. supervisors who had worked with her long term. This woman was 46 and a head accountant for a company. Rudeness and unprofessionalism have nothing to do with age, education or a person's job title. Some people are work bullies. You either have to work with them and ignore their games, pray to the gods that they leave the company, or personally look elsewhere for employment.

 

As someone else said, if she's on good terms with the manager, nothing much will be done about her behavior. She may eventually go to another job and be treated the same way she is currently treating others.

[Pocky]

You should approach her and discuss your concerns.

[tattoomytoe]

i would speak to the owner, or whomever you knew that suggested you work there in the first place. just let him know that she is not being professional.

maybe tell the manager he should keep an eye on her management style...i.e, be more of a presence.

 

plus..... she is a young woman in a power position over males, and some women this combo turn them into huge b!tches.

[SixthSt.Girl]

You said you get along with the owner, so that's good. Work on strengthening your relationship with him - if she lies about you or accuses you of something you didn't do, it's her word against your's. Who will he trust? It's possible that she will try to tear you down in front of the owner if she hasn't already. I was in a similar situation for awhile. The manager at our store is a very competitive person and likes to have the attention on her at all times. If I make a good sale and the owner commends me, she downplays it to him behind my back - i.e. that's not so great, he was probably going to buy it regardless of who was behind the counter... Seriously, she can't stand for other people to get compliments, and not her. If he says something nice about her, I always let her know so she'll feel appreciated (he never compliments us to our face), but she has been lagging behind in sales. I've put in more effort and I think he see that - it's not an issue of "playing favorites" like she sees it, but I wonder what would happen if she made up a lie about me... That's why I'm trying my best to stay neutral, and thankfully I'm getting out of that store soon. I would keep on good terms with the manager, maybe alert him to what's going on - of course, that could mean more drama b/w you and your supervisor, but it's the owner's opinion of you that counts. If it's like this store, he's the only one who has power over your employment status. Good luck!

[amerikajin]

Dyer,

 

I'd take Moose's advice: don't do anything. Just deal with it as long as it's not too much of a problem. It sounds like it's the usual power tripping 19-year-old who doesn't really have a thing for people who have twice the IQ. I think there's a part of her that knows she's going to be doing pretty much the same thing five years from now, and she knows that you won't. That pisses her off, and she's taking her frustration out on you. Remember what I said a while back? You are going to be resented because of your gifts. Welcome to the real world, dude! Isn't climbing the corporate ladder fun?! Hey, look on the bright side: at least if you get fired now, you've got a roof over your head that's paid for.

 

I remember my first job when I was still in high school; I worked for a video production facility. I thought it was a glamour job because it was working for a minor league baseball team. But I soon found out that it was grunt work, operating cameras and technical equipment late in the afternoon and well into the night - sometimes not finishing until well after midnight. And summertime in the Deep South is hotter than hell, so we'd come in exhausted not only from the hours, but also from the heat. And anyone who's ever done a live broadcast - whether it be operating a camera, audio mixer or a tape machine, knows that the technical producer is analogous to Sargeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket - screaming profanities in your ear at the slightest slip up. I can't believe I came back for a second summer...but I did.

 

I think the thing I learned, Dyer, is that a lot of times, you just have to put personality conflicts aside and get down to business, even if it's just working in a pizzeria. You're going to deal with this s*** in just about every company you work in for the rest of your life. The only way to get around it is to open up your own shop, and unfortunately, banks don't give out loans unless you've got collateral, a business plan and a decent credit rating. You've got some ways to go before you get to that point. So my advice is to sit back, deal with it and learn from it. I won't tell you not to confront her, but if you do, please do so with care. Always present yourself in a mature manner, never do anything that makes you look like you're unable to control yourself.

[Moose]

At my welding shop, if one of the guys were trying to get on my good side or approach me about problems with another employee, I would take that as a sign of a personal conflict, and that has no place at work. Let it go and let her bury herself. You have to trust me on this one.

[Pookette]

One of the nursing supervisors at our hospital is like that. She called the people in my department "morons" in front of a few other people, who each filed a complaint about her. So, eventually your coworker is going to say the wrong thing in front of the wrong person and get demoted or fired. There's huge turnover in your kind of job and managers appreciate workers who don't get involved in workplace politics and have a good work ethic, so you are going to be fine. Just let her have her little power trip and enjoy the fact that she will still be there when you are President.

[SadAndLonely]

It sounds like she's immature and insecure and is worried that you're going to eventually be at her level or even higher than you. I had a friend like you once. He became the manager of his local Pizza Hut at the age of 19. He was very intelligent, very good with customers, and management saw that. Keep doing the best job you can, but if she harrasses you or does anything illegal, report her, even if she's in good with management. Trust me, a manager or owner will quickly drop a friendship if it's between that and facing litigation. It's never too soon to start teaching people how to behave while on the job.

 

Hopefully you'll do a great job and eventually get promoted. And no more catching knives with your hands.