FrostBlaze Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) Hey. I just started working somewhere new and i allready got problems because of my nature.(1st day actually) I just moved from a all man enviroment to mostly women, as a restaurant chef trainee, and just 3 other blokes in the whole restaurant, anyhoo. The day started okay, me being the new guy, meeting all the new folk, trying to spark convo's with me, a few of the waitresses tried numerous times, flirting also...to wich i don't respond back cuz i don't know how to flirt. (have another topic). And just give short answers with no follow up...so i pretty much allready killed it. Later on i just bluntly got told by the Female Master Chef "I will honesty tell you that i don't like you and your behavior" cuz i don't talk or click with the staff. I just suck at small talk, am very defensive and open up quite hard, even if i do i still suck at small talk. It has always been a unresolved "issue", i don't consider my way of being silent a issue, but it obviously bothers people. Caused me problems at other work places, but there they just needed me to work hard so they would shrug it off, but here...it's more of a tight community and if u wanna "survive" it you need to blend in, or they will kinda just find someone else. Wich i can't. If anyone has tips about small talk or has been through similar, appreciate it. Edited April 4, 2014 by FrostBlaze Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 You don't have to make an effort to engage in small talk, you just have to show that you're friendly. When you get to work, just make sure to say hi to everyone and when you leave work say bye to them too. The most important thing is to be good at what you do. Your boss doesn't care that you can converse with other female staff, he wants to know if you can handle the kitchen task well. Once everyone knows you are a terrific cook, they will see the good in you. And when girls do talk to you, just speak ur mind. Once you get familiar with everyone over time, small talk will be easy since you will know more about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrostBlaze Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Good thing i've always been a hard worker. I seem to have "grown" on them a little, mostly the chef team since i hang out with them . Accepted the fact i don't talk much, even if i try more now and are generally friendly and teach me things, so these are some good slight improvements. And this: Also for some reason, pretty much all of the single girls with "no ring" ask me "do you have a gf?" or engage in small talk.(3 so far) Idk if i should just take that as being friendly, or interest?? Either way, it boosts my morale so i'd rather be delusional about it and think they want me, bahaha. xD. Didn't wanna open a separate topic about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Why do you care? Just go to work and do your thing and stay professional and respectful. Are you there to build nice relationships with people or handle your business? Don't get involved romantically with your coworkers. Doesn't matter if they are asking out of curiosity or interest because a person of value, with options, doesn't have to bang their coworkers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrostBlaze Posted April 6, 2014 Author Share Posted April 6, 2014 Ofc i care, u need to get along with co-workers, or you will have a stressfull job. They put sticks in your tracks if they don't like you, seen if happen way to often. (not to me personally) Key to success? Get along with people. About this i have no doubt. As for getting romantical with co-workers. Hell nah, i know the consequences if **** go wrong and in general i just won't do it, at least not in this LINE of work. ALso a lot of people "met" their wives at work, so i don't understand what's really wrong with it, i find it okay even if i myself don't practice it. But i was curious as it's a boost to my ego, wich is needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Ofc i care, u need to get along with co-workers, or you will have a stressfull job. They put sticks in your tracks if they don't like you, seen if happen way to often. (not to me personally) Key to success? Get along with people. About this i have no doubt. As for getting romantical with co-workers. Hell nah, i know the consequences if **** go wrong and in general i just won't do it, at least not in this LINE of work. ALso a lot of people "met" their wives at work, so i don't understand what's really wrong with it, i find it okay even if i myself don't practice it. But i was curious as it's a boost to my ego, wich is needed. I'm not saying be a douche. Just be polite and respectful and keep it professional. IME they will respect you more for being professional than for your ability to make small talk. Personally I think it's a bad idea to get involved in my coworkers personal business, especially get involved romantically, and I've experienced a lot of situations to back this up. Yeah a lot of people have started workplace relationships but it doesn't make it a good idea. A lot of people have cheated on their spouse, does that make it ok? What is this need for the ego boost? Link to post Share on other sites
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