Inherited gene or learnt behaviour

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

So it appears I have a drink problem... well actually its been the same for years but I think Ive only just faced up to it.

 

My whole family (every generation) are alcoholics, 5 have died from alcohol the rest are either far to gone or "functioning alcoholics", there seems to be a pattern that if you are from a family of alcoholics then there is a higher risk of becoming one. I have heard a lot of talk about it being an inherited gene which would make sense but Im wondering if actually its learnt behaviour.. I, for one, was never taught 'coping strategies' infact what I was taught (learnt) was that every time there was a problem u say "I need a drink!" and u get a bottle of wine out..

 

Just wondered what other people thought of this... gene or learnt behaviour? x

[d0nnivain]

There are on-going studies to determine if it's hereditary . . . all that alcohol over time changing DNA. Nothing conclusive has been proven.

 

But when you grow up around it, over consumption looks normal to you. I remember being shocked when I found out other people's parents didn't drink a six pack a day & more on weekends & they didn't drink at every holiday event.

 

So it's more nurture than nature but that's OK because it means you can change your behavior.

 

Good luck.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

There are on-going studies to determine if it's hereditary . . . all that alcohol over time changing DNA. Nothing conclusive has been proven.

 

But when you grow up around it, over consumption looks normal to you. I remember being shocked when I found out other people's parents didn't drink a six pack a day & more on weekends & they didn't drink at every holiday event.

 

So it's more nurture than nature but that's OK because it means you can change your behavior.

 

Good luck.

 

That is so true... the amount of times Ive said "no that isnt too much thats normal" because of what I determine as a 'normal' amount from what Ive always been around x

[sumdude]

That is so true... the amount of times Ive said "no that isnt too much thats normal" because of what I determine as a 'normal' amount from what Ive always been around x

 

Exactly, then there's the culture you grow up in. Some cultures find a fair amount liquor drinking to be fairly normal others find it completely out of the ordinary. I know my family drank in a way I thought (still think sometimes) is normal but to most people it's definitely not. But we also came from another country where that is more accepted. But that doesn't change the fact that there is I think both a genetic and learned element to addiction. this is supported by science though not all conclusive yet.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I can kinda see it both ways. I lost my Mother to alcoholism three and a half years ago, she was only heavily drinking for 2-3 years until it killed her. Before that she did drink a glass of wine or two per night during most of my upbringing but it never got in the way of her social functioning, holding down a job or anything. Then a lot of things went wrong in her life, she started drinking a bottle of vodka a day and a couple years later she was gone. It was hard, one of the hardest things I've ever done getting over losing such an amazing, selfless, wonderful woman in my life. You only get one Mother, and I felt at 22 I wasn't ready to let go. That's my own background anyway... the two thoughts I have are:

 

a) Seeing your parents drinking growing up could normalise the behaviour to you, make it seem like it's a regular thing to drink every day, to drink to drown out problems, and as you get older you pick up those same patterns of behaviour and coping mechanisms. So it's possible for alcohol problems to be passed down that way. But...

 

b) On the flip side, seeing that happen to my own parent was such an immense shock, I saw the damage it can do and how steep a slippery slope it is, how dangerous it is to drink so much and how quickly one can get hooked. It was a wake up call to see an intelligent, educated, caring and kind person with a good job and a nice life just fall to pieces so quickly, and in her late fifties with no prior serious problems of substance misuse. As such I think I will be very aware of the dangers of becoming dependent on alcohol as I get older, and hopefully I'd be able to see it coming if it ever crept up on me, whereas if I'd never experienced alcoholism first hand perhaps it just wouldn't enter my mind that there was anything unusual or worrisome about drinking daily or to blot out problems.

 

Personally I very rarely drink now, maybe a couple of drinks once per month or six weeks. I don't enjoy the hangover the next day, I don't really like feeling out of control... I'll have the occasional blow out three or four times a year where I'll drink maybe six or seven drinks and party but even on those occasions I never get to the level where I'm sick from drinking.

 

However, as a teen, before my own Mother's problems became apparent, I drank to absolute excess, until I was vomiting in my sleep, sometimes started drinking from 10am sat alone in my room, smoked cigarettes and cannabis... from 13-19 I was wild. But then I suddenly settled and felt it was all out of my system, went to college, moved out and shortly after, found out about my Mother's drinking and went into overdrive for the next two and a half years trying to help her fix herself. Of course it didn't work. I always thought it was pretty normal for a teenager to be drinking daily until they were sick and going to school high but looking back it probably isn't normal, I just had a really rough time personally and couldn't handle my issues.

 

Anyway, I learnt that nobody is immune to dependency or addiction to substances, whether it be alcohol or drugs. I've volunteered extensively in rehabs and with people who are suicidal and learnt a lot. I don't feel that I'm immune to it happening to me which I think is a good thing because I hope it'll always keep me on my toes and that I'll know where to go to access support if I need to, and I know that I wouldn't feel too ashamed to speak to my friends about it because I know they wouldn't judge me, just as they didn't judge my Mother.

[littleplanet]

It's an interesting question.

 

The physical craving strongly suggests genetic.

The psychological dependence strongly suggests learned behavior.

Perhaps it's a combination of the two.

(though I'm sure this can happen to someone who never grew up around it.)

 

In my own background, (Irish) it was a huge cultural thing. Endless aiding and abetting.

Though not in my immediate family.

I grew up with an entirely sober dad and an alcoholic mom.

(In which, more often than not, that battle played out with him as the villain and her the victim.)

 

Because of this, I never really touched alcohol until I was 21. Just had no interest.

When I was 24 I drank too much - and then just got fed up with the after-effects.

Since then it's always been moderation.

Right time, right place, right mood, right company, right everything.

As if..................the tyrant is sobriety (which alcohol has to bow down and submit to.)

I discovered along the way that I LIKE reality. (unreality is just a bothersome pest.)

 

But back to the question:

Yes - I think growing up and learning certain behaviors as 'normal' can create a strong social drive to fit in (with what others are doing.)

My mom used to talk about that a lot. (In her sober moments when I became a teenager, and we would sit and talk for hours.)

 

I know now that those talks of course - came from her fear that I would go down the same road.

Strange.......much later in my life, there were times when I think she resented my sobriety. (Those of course, were the inebriated times.)

They were hard times. But luckily - very infrequent.

 

Our need to fit in socially can be a very powerful determinent in choices we make.

I've known cases where people who quit - completely change their social circle.

Those are the most extreme cases.

 

It's tough to tackle when everyone around you is using.

The one thing I still have a hard time with, to this day:

 

Being a musician (playing in bars and clubs) I of course, run into it all the time. Known many musicians who got caught up in the lifestyle - and although gifted, brilliant.....surrendered themselves to what (eventually ruined their lives.)

The one thing I've never understood (having wrestled with a few inner demons in my time) is what nature of demon they wrestle with?

As if.........some pain.........so horrific, that blotting it out with alcohol (or drugs) is the only thing that works.

I've always wondered about that.

Pain is pain.

But it sure doesn't hit us all the same way.

 

Good luck!

[Tayla]

There is a genetic disposition that has been affirmed. Cultural habits play a huge part in endorsing the social acceptance of over indulgence. The disease though is erratic.

 

Mine comes from going back six generations, Does it mean I was doomed from the onset? Doubtful. I had a choice up until the point I crossed over and figured it had me and there was no way out. Luckily that was true, there was no way out and never will be. I will have this disease til the day I die. The difference is, I don't have a drink nor do I encourage it amongst those with a history of it in the family line.I choose sobriety and accept the disease as is. So I "learned" Behavior that keeps me from genetically going back to it