Women, do you wonder why men won't approach you?

[Phoe]

One time, i got spit on; she probably was angry from something else but still ...

 

If I ever saw something like that happen my blood would be boiling so fast it's unreal.

 

 

Good God

[GemmaUK]

I haven't read all of the posts here but I think the lady's post is kinda silly.

 

The guy is exaggerating over outcomes.

 

 

For years (forever probably!) it has been the same with the approach.

To get approached a woman gives the man a heads up...indicates interest using eye contact and smiling.

That then gives the guy some confidence in approaching if he is interested.

 

If the guy isn't receiving any eye contact and knows that she has seen him then his approach isn't going to work most likely.

[jothebo41]

I am genuinely sorry that has been your experience; that sucks. I have no doubt some women are like that, unfortunately. But some women aren't "women." I'm 26, so squarely in that generation, and the women I know aren't like that. I personally ALWAYS offer to pay, and I absolutely will if he lets me (I always take out cash specifically beforehand, too, to make it easier). They pretty much never do. I am always so sweet and genuine and open in dating that I verge on overdoing it (even though it's all natural, I'm not trying to try too hard even if it seems like it). My best friends are all very similar. Most of my friends have great partners with mutual appreciation and adoration. I don't want to deny the reality of your experiences and your social world, but I don't want anyone to deny mine, either. Neither men nor women should be sainted or demonized. Sometimes it's frustrating and that frustration skews our vision, but let's make an effort to correct that, eh? Sometimes, honestly, I feel "men just take great women for granted"-- but then I go, seriously Kodakgirl, just look at all the great women you know with men who don't take them for granted... cut it out. So I do, because I don't want to be trapped in a bitter world constructed from my own skewed emotions. I want to live in the real world, and see men as individual human beings, each with their own life trajectories and feelings and fears. I don't know why anyone would choose differently.

 

Anyway, in my post I flat-out said women should be making efforts too. Yes it's hard and yes it can be scary but life involves taking chances, and I believe love is worth the most chances (and I practice what I preach, even if it's a constant battle with my own shyness). Dating is hard but we're in it together, men and women.

 

I am genuinely glad you seem to be a nice, smart, fair woman. I'm also glad you had a little empathy with my post, I wasn't trying to demonize women, just in the early stages of dating to a lot (not all) of them its a total game.

 

Case in point here is my dating history since about november, most were in the realm of cold approaches:

 

-Took a girl I met in a class to a hockey game (we had a casual lunch before hand...that I paid for) We had an awesome time, guess what? I leaned in to kiss her before I dropped her off - She was seeing someone else and thought 'this would be fun'

-A girl who ordered a filet mingon at outback (the easy price of $30 out of my account, I almost wanted to make a scene but took the high road)

-A girl who we (seemingly) had a good date (that I had to pay for) with but never answered my call.

-A girl who I had an awesome time with on a date (that I had to pay for), and we were super attracted to each other, shared a passionate kiss afterwards but rejected me because I am 23 and she is 25, she doesn't 'do younger guys' what a pleasant phone call a day after the date.

-A girl who I have been on 4 dates with but is clearly just playing games and 'dating around' I guess you could say its up in the air currently but I'm sick of trying

 

I'm not even including the approaches that get shot down, you have to basically just sigh and pat yourself on the back for being confident

 

See how a guy can become bitter? I've basically completely given up on trying to get phone numbers or chat up women for AWHILE, because why? I'd rather just go to the gym and frequent a few sports bars and talk ball with the attendees, better use of time and money.

 

This isn't to chastise 100% of women at all, I am smarter and more considerate than that, women like you need to slap these girls in the face, because well, they are ruining it for the good ones.

Edited April 5, 2014 by jothebo41

[tbf]

The first post was from a woman who was sick of men not hitting on her in public.

Hyperbole #1.

 

A man's response:

Meet hyperbole #2.

 

The two hyperboles should date.

[RedRobin]

This isn't to chastise 100% of women at all, I am smarter and more considerate than that, women like you need to slap these girls in the face, because well, they are ruining it for the good ones.

 

 

I agree with you... I'd like to slap them in the face too... On the other hand, those women make it easier for women like me who don't treat men like cash cows....

 

 

First off, stop paying for women. It's 2014. Find something cheap or free in the early days that doesn't involve coffee or food for chrissakes. That is so overdone.

 

 

Be creative and fun with it.

 

 

Let her help you brainstorm. If she won't, then you've got your answer. Entitled princess or not that interested. Onto the next...

[jothebo41]

I agree with you... I'd like to slap them in the face too... On the other hand, those women make it easier for women like me who don't treat men like cash cows....

 

 

First off, stop paying for women. It's 2014. Find something cheap or free in the early days that doesn't involve coffee or food for chrissakes. That is so overdone.

 

 

Be creative and fun with it.

 

 

Let her help you brainstorm. If she won't, then you've got your answer. Entitled princess or not that interested. Onto the next...

 

In a perfect world not paying for women would be easy. But if your visibly having a good time, the waitstaff notices, and gives the guy the bill. 95% the girl just watches me put my card in the bill folder. Because she can. Not a slight at women, but that is my experience. To ask the girl to split is harder than it sounds.

 

Also being creative and fun with it normally (in my experience) only occurs in the later part of dating, after 2-3+ dates. Before that, I'm doing all the work. I have yet to meet a female who co-plans with me on the first or second date, that is 'my job'.

 

Its harder than you make it sound to be... Especially off the 'approach' which is why this thread started, I have no idea what they like or enjoy, but want some tacos? or some other thing on special at some place?

Edited April 6, 2014 by jothebo41

[almond]

stay away from girls with pony tails who have it angled upwards, 45 degrees or so. They tend to be very stuck up, very self-centered.

 

Lol. Really?

 

Also, from my experience i can tell you that men generally are not good at reading ppl.

 

If others buy into the sort of thing quoted above, I can definitely see why!

[Radu]

Lol. Really?

 

 

 

If others buy into the sort of thing quoted above, I can definitely see why!

 

Yes, it has been my experience.

 

I'm especially drawn to the type [ice princess] who favors the pony-tail look, and the most stuck up amongst them angle it upwards.

The only exception to this rule that i've noticed is the short girls who would like to be taller, but you can spot them easily [very high shoes].

[almond]

I'm sorry, but making sweeping assumptions about a woman's character based solely upon the angle of her ponytail is utterly ridiculous.

[Phoe]

Yes, it has been my experience.

 

I'm especially drawn to the type [ice princess] who favors the pony-tail look, and the most stuck up amongst them angle it upwards.

The only exception to this rule that i've noticed is the short girls who would like to be taller, but you can spot them easily [very high shoes].

 

I angle my ponytail in all sorts of different ways depending on the day...

 

 

>_>

[Noproblem]

I don't wonder why

 

I know why

 

he doesn't approach me because he is a player, or a coward

 

Or both

[Noproblem]

For one thing, stay away from girls with pony tails who have it angled upwards, 45 degrees or so. They tend to be very stuck up, very self-centered.

 

 

I do my hair in different style each day: Straight down, curly down, braid it, messy, two braids, four braids, low pony tail, high pony tails, buns and other hair styles

 

I don't think that the hairstyles tell about character

[Radu]

That's the problem with text, gotta be careful how you say what you say.

 

That being said, this has been my experience.

And you know what, it's my 'sweeping generalization' and it has served me damn well.

Don't like what my eyes see and my mind interprets, sue them ... i dare you.

 

Off-course, one could interpret what i said in a broader context and actually pay attention to the whole 'ice-princess' part, which means not just the ponytail part.

Not all of it derived from ponytail or ... as some assume, caused by ponytail [i'm pretty sure it does not cause 'evil' into your brain].

It could very well be that the ponytail is part of the general look of a type of girl that i avoid ... and that's the 'ice princess'.

 

So yeah, i avoid girls with the ponytail angled at a high angle who seem stuck up, who have the ice princess look, i avoid them like the fu*king plague.

[Noproblem]

That's the problem with text, gotta be careful how you say what you say.

 

That being said, this has been my experience.

And you know what, it's my 'sweeping generalization' and it has served me damn well.

Don't like what my eyes see and my mind interprets, sue them ... i dare you.

 

Off-course, one could interpret what i said in a broader context and actually pay attention to the whole 'ice-princess' part, which means not just the ponytail part.

Not all of it derived from ponytail or ... as some assume, caused by ponytail [i'm pretty sure it does not cause 'evil' into your brain].

It could very well be that the ponytail is part of the general look of a type of girl that i avoid ... and that's the 'ice princess'.

 

So yeah, i avoid girls with the ponytail angled at a high angle who seem stuck up, who have the ice princess look, i avoid them like the fu*king plague.

 

What the ice princess look looks like, I don't understand?

 

to be honest, I really don't like those girls who always do their hair as a pony tail. I find them to be more serious than necessary ... I mean those who pull their hair as a really tight pony tail all the time.

I do my hair sometimes like that, but come on .... Not everyday!

[almond]

And you know what, it's my 'sweeping generalization' and it has served me damn well.

 

Really? Avoiding women with ponytails at certain angles has benefited you that greatly? How?

 

Well anyway, keep on keeping on then - whatever works for you I suppose

 

 

Don't like what my eyes see and my mind interprets, sue them ... i dare you.

 

You're missing the point. I merely pointed out that your statement was silly and was completely unfounded. Like most things I read online, it doesn't personally bother me or impact me in any way.

 

Off-course, one could interpret what i said in a broader context and actually pay attention to the whole 'ice-princess' part, which means not just the ponytail part.

Not all of it derived from ponytail or ... as some assume, caused by ponytail [i'm pretty sure it does not cause 'evil' into your brain].

 

I don't think there were any problems with my interpretation. This is what you actually said...

 

IOne thing i've noticed lately is that their personality is heavily seen in the way they dress/have their hair.

For one thing, stay away from girls with pony tails who have it angled upwards, 45 degrees or so. They tend to be very stuck up, very self-centered.

 

...and that is what I responded to. And once again, the above statement is completely ridiculous.

 

 

It could very well be that the ponytail is part of the general look of a type of girl that i avoid ... and that's the 'ice princess'.

 

You avoid the "ice princesses?" In your last post you said..

 

I'm especially drawn to the type [ice princess] who favors the pony-tail look, and the most stuck up amongst them angle it upwards.

 

That sentence clearly states that you are especially drawn to them, but made judgements re: their individual personalities based solely on the angle of their ponytails.

 

I wonder, how many of these "ice princesses" have you actually approached? And how many rejected you in total? Do you think that you were rejected only because they were "stuck-up and self-centered," or perhaps that their body language/facial expressions clearly conveyed that they were not in the mood to be approached (hence the ice princess label), yet you did so anyway? And you took particular notice of the angle of their ponytail, and kept track of this at each rejection? You really think this warrants advising others to avoid women with certain hairstyles, and labeling them as very self-centered and stuck-up?

 

I'm sorry to say, but that all just seems a bit silly to me.

 

So yeah, i avoid girls with the ponytail angled at a high angle who seem stuck up, who have the ice princess look, i avoid them like the fu*king plague.

 

You don't think that perhaps it is possible the ponytail has nothing to do with it? That the "ice princesses'" facial expressions and body language are what you should be paying attention to? You honestly think there is a correlation between a bad mood, unavailability etc. etc. and a ponytail?

 

Come on now.

 

The only exception to this rule that i've noticed is the short girls who would like to be taller, but you can spot them easily [very high shoes].

 

So only short girls that want to be taller can wear a ponytail and not be "very stuck-up and very self-centered?"

 

Ever thought that perhaps they just like high heels and aren't worried about their height?

 

Your opinions are your own, and I take no issue with that. I just genuinely don't see the logic behind this, and find it all a bit funny to be honest..

Edited April 6, 2014 by almond

[iiiii]

My best and most fun approach was eye contact, smile shyly, and say "I am not good at this so pretend I said something witty and pretend I am exactly your type and agree to go out with me out of pity for my ineptness and hideousness."

 

G

 

Hmmm, if I liked the look of you, that would likely have worked for me!

[Radu]

Really? Avoiding women with ponytails at certain angles has benefited you that greatly? How?

 

Well anyway, keep on keeping on then - whatever works for you I suppose

What do you want, ?

Examples, names, addresses, maybe even a study funded by me to defend position ?

 

Take my word on it or not ... doesn't matter in the end.

 

 

You're missing the point. I merely pointed out that your statement was silly and was completely unfounded. Like most things I read online, it doesn't personally bother me or impact me in any way.

I'm curious, how often do you tie your hair in a ponytail ?

 

Silly ? That's a matter of perspective.

Unfounded ? You go through 3 ex's who had 'issues', favored the look, with the last one being a mix of PD's.

Then you can tell me if it's unfounded.

 

I am not a scientific organization, i am not a society and this is definitely not that State of Radu writing this.

When it comes to my own peace of mind only I can decide weather it is that or not.

And if i have to actively discriminate to improve my life, so it shall be.

 

 

I don't think there were any problems with my interpretation. This is what you actually said...

 

 

 

...and that is what I responded to. And once again, the above statement is completely ridiculous.

I said 'tend', you focused on the meaning being 'are'.

It's a major difference between the two.

 

Furthermore, human communication is only 7% verbal; while we may be able to add some tonality through our use of smilies and how we set the whole thing up, it is by no means complete.

Some things are simply lost in writing.

 

 

You avoid the "ice princesses?" In your last post you said..

 

 

 

That sentence clearly states that you are especially drawn to them, but made judgements re: their individual personalities based solely on the angle of their ponytails.

 

I wonder, how many of these "ice princesses" have you actually approached? And how many rejected you in total? Do you think that you were rejected only because they were "stuck-up and self-centered," or perhaps that their body language/facial expressions clearly conveyed that they were not in the mood to be approached (hence the ice princess label), yet you did so anyway? And you took particular notice of the angle of their ponytail, and kept track of this at each rejection? You really think this warrants advising others to avoid women with certain hairstyles, and labeling them as very self-centered and stuck-up?

Yes, i am drawn to that type.

It's unhealthy.

 

A while back i made a thread about trying to change the type of woman i'm attracted to, because in the past it has done nothing but bring me sorrow.

In fact my only 'decent' relationships were when i did a FWB with a tomboy type and a short relationship with a girl who did not adhere to the ice-princess type.

 

I'm still drawn to the ice-princesses, and it's inexplicable and in a way primal, subconscious, but in the last few yrs [almost 4 actually], i've managed to slowly open my eyes to other types as well.

And that's when i noticed the nicer women.

 

One more thing. As i mentioned above, i was not rejected by them in full, i actually dated them.

In all 3 of these situations, i found that the ice-princess look that they had was used in the early stages of negociating the relationship.

It's like you are trying to draw the other person, to convince them to be with you, so you invest more time, more resources and are willing to accept a somewhat lower position so that the relationship happens.

When that point is reached, the relationship [romantic in this case] happens, and it will remain what you negociated initially.

 

I'm sorry to say, but that all just seems a bit silly to me.

Maybe ... you use the ponytail often ?

If not ... maybe it's because you are not a guy and you don't have my dating history.

 

 

You don't think that perhaps it is possible the ponytail has nothing to do with it? That the "ice princesses'" facial expressions and body language are what you should be paying attention to? You honestly think there is a correlation between a bad mood, unavailability etc. etc. and a ponytail?

 

Come on now.

I pay attention to the whole package, but it's the ponytail and it's angle that i found the most perplexing.

Most of the stuff that i notice is visual, because i don't engage them in talking anymore.

 

I just sit back, look.

 

 

 

So only short girls that want to be taller can wear a ponytail and not be "very stuck-up and very self-centered?"

You are assuming that what i say is both open for debate and a constant amongst men.

It's not open for debate, even though it's discriminating.

And it's not a constant amongst men.

 

My assumption comes from looking at them, and seeing how often i notice the ponytail and the angle amongst shorties.

The shorter they are, the higher the angle tends to be, and the more intimidated they tend to be by taller girls [yes, i ride public transportation and i look at ppl].

The above i only notice amongst younger girls [not to call them women].

I haven't noticed as many mid 20's and older women who favor the high angle ponytail and high shoes for extra height.

 

Ever thought that perhaps they just like high heels and aren't worried about their height?

No

Most ppl are not comfortable with themselves, they are generally not that happy 100% with themselves.

I don't look at what is a representation of their happiness because most ppl don't go home and write in their journal [if they have one] 'i am happy'.

Most ppl are unsure, insecure, unhappy about 1 aspect of their lives.

Figuring out what that is, is fascinating.

 

Your opinions are your own, and I take no issue with that. I just genuinely don't see the logic behind this, and find it all a bit funny to be honest..

I also find it funny how ppl show their insecurities, hopes and dreams in how they present themselves.

Not 'haha' funny, but definitely 'interesting' funny.

Edited April 6, 2014 by Radu

[almond]

So you're basing this whole ponytail theory that you apply to all women and recommend to others on only there of your ex girlfriends?

 

Lol. Okay. You seem pretty set on this, so we'll just agree to disagree.

 

Have a nice day

Edited April 6, 2014 by almond
P.S. To answer your question: I rarely tie my hair up - tends to give me a headache.

[ascendotum]

I did approaching in public before, cold ones too.

Most of the time i got rejected or no attention was payed to me.

One time, i got spit on; she probably was angry from something else but still ...

 

One thing i've noticed lately is that their personality is heavily seen in the way they dress/have their hair.

For one thing, stay away from girls with pony tails who have it angled upwards, 45 degrees or so. They tend to be very stuck up, very self-centered.

 

lol Snap! - on the high pony tail women. I've noticed they tend to have more attitude.

[kiss_andmakeup]

This ponytail thing is beyond weird. The only time I wear my hair in a high/"angled up" ponytail is when I'm going to the gym - and if I'm being an "ice princess" at that time, well, it's because I'm at the freaking gym trying to work out.

[tbf]

This ponytail thing is beyond weird. The only time I wear my hair in a high/"angled up" ponytail is when I'm going to the gym - and if I'm being an "ice princess" at that time, well, it's because I'm at the freaking gym trying to work out.

Isn't it obvious? Ponytail for keeping cool while working out is chill. Chill means ice princess. It all makes sense in a Six Degrees of Kevn Bacon way!

[kiss_andmakeup]

Isn't it obvious? Ponytail for keeping cool while working out is chill. Chill means ice princess. It all makes sense in a Six Degrees of Kevn Bacon way!

 

Ohhhhhh...well that makes way more sense!

[hotpotato]

Well, I have men appraoch me.

 

Elderly men...

 

The man flirting with anything that has a vjayjay!

 

Most of the time I am busy, and most guys get the picture.

 

I wear my ponytail low by the way. Maybe I should wear it high as a more potent male deterrent?

[verhrzn]

Oh gimme a break. I hear guys make these sorts of arguments all the time about why they didn't approach a particular woman, about how they don't want to be called creepy or are too scared or are too shy or blah blah, only to then turn around and approach another woman with no problem. The difference? Their attraction to the 2nd woman was enough to overcome their discomfort.

 

If a guy really wants a girl, he goes for it. If he doesn't go for it, he doesn't really want it. I have yet to see a case where a guy was completely nuts over a girl and didn't approach her in some way (even if it was indirectly like trying to integrate himself into her social network.)

 

What's so wrong with saying that maybe some of us ladies don't get approached cause we just aren't that attractive? Is there something radical about this concept?

[Grumpybutfun]

Hmmm, if I liked the look of you, that would likely have worked for me!

 

It worked 100% of the time...was reserved for girls who were locked into one spot, like a receptionist or a hostess, and couldn't approach me. Otherwise I would just do what I was doing, hold eye contact, smile, flash my dimples, go back to what I was doing and usually I was approached. That way it weeded out the insecure or the taken.

Dating was fun back in the olden days,

G