peanut150 Posted February 4, 2001 Share Posted February 4, 2001 I have this guy who I thought was my friend. We are both in committed relationships. I needed a friend to go on a day trip with me and asked him since my boyfriend could not go. My boyfriend is totally ok with it. This "friend" said it sounded like fun but would just have to double check his calender. Well that was two weeks ago and I never heard from him. I have emailed him twice, but he ignored them. We have always had a good time together and I don't have any clue why he blew me off. I missed the event because I waited to long for his response and could not find anyone else to go with. Now, everyone says that I am acting like a "woman" because I am upset that someone I thought was my friend completely ignored me. Everyone says that is what guys do. Well, ignoring someone devalues what you have with them. Why couldn't he just tell me he couldn't go? How do I handle my anger to the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 4, 2001 Share Posted February 4, 2001 It's really too bad you have anger you need to handle. Getting angry about things people do or don't do is not very productive because people will disappoint you until the day you die. If you want to be very nice to yourself, just learn to do things in such a way as not to count on other human beings. You'll be lots happier. While it would have been very nice if your friend would have gotten back with you, he could have forgotten, he could have not remembered exactly when it was...maybe he thinks it's next month or maybe this checking your calendar thing was his way of saying "no" nicely. Some people in this world just find it absolutely impossible to say no to anyone, especially people they like, so they say other things...like I'll check my calendar...and hope you'll forget about it. Actually, I've done that myself and just assumed that when the person didn't hear back from me in a reasonable time they would make other arrangements prior to the event. This whole episode is your responsibility and you should not dump it on your friend...neither should you upset yourself by getting angry. That's entirely your decision to make. What YOU should have done after not hearing from him for a week was to call him back and remind him. That was plenty of time for him to "check his calendar." If you couldn't get ahold of him or he didn't return you call within a day of that, you would have had plenty of time to find someone else to go with. So it's not your friend's fault for not getting back with you...oh, yes, it would have been really nice if he had. But it is really your fault for not following up. Let me give you a little hint here. Nowadays, this sort of thing happens a lot because people have lots on their mind or they mostly care about what's going on in their lives. If we don't handle our own affairs in a very proactive way, we can end up on the losing end. Always take total and complete responsibility for seeing that you get answers to things like this in a timely manner. Don't leave your fate to other people or you will have lots of disappointments in your life. Maybe he tried to reach you and couldn't...or though he had. Who knows? You should have taken the action yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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